9 Important Mistakes You Might Be Making in Relationships

Short-term relationships, high divorce rates, prolonged celibacy. Where are we going wrong?

In recent years, the common opinion of almost everyone is that relationships are quickly and easily exhausted! The fact that real conversations are replaced by virtual communication, people’s daily hustle and bustle and stress, especially hurting their anger and suppressed emotions in business life by reflecting on their “loved ones” at home, avoiding apologies, and always trying to be right in arguments, weakening of tolerance are some of the reasons that lead couples to break up easily.

1- Always trying to be right

It is certainly not possible to be right all the time in life, and there are some situations where being right has no meaning or importance. In fact, everyone will lose in the end. However, it is a fact that some people always try to be right. On the other hand, if one of the parties behaves like he/she is always right in bilateral relations, this situation destroys the structure of the relationship, which should be egalitarian. Sometimes people are so focused on being right that they miss the moments of happiness. Remember that no one can be one hundred percent right or wrong when it comes to relationships, and avoid this fundamental mistake that wears out bilateral relations. Do not hesitate to apologize if necessary, remember that apologizing is not a weakness but rather a virtuous act.

2- Wanting to do everything together

What looks like a commitment can actually be an addiction. However, the important thing in a relationship is to be ‘us’ without losing the ‘me’. It is very important that each person has their own space in the relationship between partners. Spending time with their friends or family, spending time on their own hobbies, as well as doing things together, allows people to approach their relationships more objectively and actually enjoy their relationships more. Therefore, give up the desire to do everything together.

3- Trying to change each other

In the relationship, the features you love in your partner at the beginning may become the features you want to change the most over time. However, learn to accept that the person in front of you has flaws like every other person, and don’t force them to change constantly. Moreover, once a person does not want to change, you cannot force them to change. Focusing on the negative aspects of your partner that you don’t like can put your relationship at a dead end. However, an important criterion is whether the behavior you are trying to change is harming you or those around you. Also know that trying to change it, if it doesn’t hurt, maybe unfair to them.

4- Putting your partner at the center of your life

Such an approach is extremely unhealthy. Dedicating yourself to a relationship, planning everything according to your partner quickly consumes you and changes the balance in relationships. The person you love is undoubtedly very important and valuable to you, but it is only one of the things that make up your life, not your entire life. Therefore, do not make the mistake of putting your partner at the center of your life.

5- Spending more time on social media and games

One of the biggest problems of couples today is that one of the parties spends too much time on the phone and computer. Not taking your phone in your hand as soon as you come home in the evening, keeping your eyes on social media in activities together, looking at other people’s posts instead of spending time with each other, spending too much time in these media or computer games by saying “I relax” are behaviors that greatly damage “real communication”. Just like drugs, they can harm everything in the long run, especially your own psychology.

6- Excess Expectations

The disappointments you have experienced in your family relationships in the past may be subconscious and you may be waiting for your partner to repair them in your relationship without realizing it. However, remember that just like you, your partner may have subconscious needs. You should expect as much as the other person can give you. Every person has the capacity to receive and give love. Understand this capacity of the person in your life and do not expect everything from them. Especially in recent years, many people may fall into the error of comparing their own lives and questioning their partner, deceived by the “fake happiness” of people they follow on social media “as if they are having fun” every day.

7- Focusing on the past and bad things

Some people get stuck in the past and can’t get it out of their heads.

However, being stuck with the mistakes made in the past in the relationship, bringing old problems to the agenda is almost a dynamite placed under the relationship! It’s important to see if you’ve learned from your mistakes. If you have chosen to forgive mistakes in the past, you should fulfill your responsibilities, if you cannot forgive, you should get support from an expert.

8- Insulting, attacking one’s values

When discussing, talk about the situation that is bothering you, but avoid shouting and insulting. You should take control of your anger and try to be constructive instead of making the problem worse. Attacking and underestimating the values ​​of the person in front of you is one of the biggest mistakes you will make.

9- Throwing your feelings inside

Don’t hesitate to express the problems at the right time and in the right environment, instead of throwing them inside. On the contrary, throwing in it, not speaking, will cause the problems to grow like a snowball in the future instead of solving them. Express your resentments or issues that bother you in a calm and constructive manner and share your feelings.

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Previously Published on medium

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