Narcissist has become a buzzword that is all over Tik Tok to the point that people are calling everyone a Narcissist for the smallest disagreement. In many ways the information that is being shared about Narcissism is great because some people are learning what they have been dealing with for years but didn’t understand.
The backlash of overuse of Narcissist is damaging for people who really are victims of a psychological and emotionally abusive relationship. When it becomes trivial, it takes away the urgency from those who witness or hear about it.
While the majority of the population aren’t actually Narcissist in the clinical sense, but I believe people can have Narcissistic traits and tendencies without being a full-blown disorder. Based on how they conduct their relationships and handle intimacy, they can harm others using tactics such as gaslighting and manipulation to gain control.
There is really no way to know how many people are on the Narcissistic spectrum because by definition, a Narcissist isn’t going to seek help. They are not going to identify with being a Narcissist and less likely to believe their problems are because of them. When they do attend therapy, it’s usually at their partner’s insistence and they can use what they learn in therapy to better isolate and manipulate their partner.
I am not an expert on Narcissism or Narcissistic Personality Disorder. I am not a therapist. But, a lot of what I have heard about toxic people has resonated with me and I had to look at my past relationships to come to the conclusion that I was likely involved with people who were and are toxic.
The nature of capitalism nurtures Narcissistic tendencies over tribe or group mentality.
I have lived and dealt with many people with addictions. I didn’t understand that how they were behaving was damaging because it was normal for me. It took distance for me to see that I was being hurt by these relationships and to view my own coping mechanisms in trying to maintain these connections. I also believe I was trauma bonding with them which requires even more emotional work to separate.
Recently, Trevor Noah has been in the news because he used his platform on The Daily Show to discuss the divorce between Kanye West and Kim Kardashian. In his commentary, he talked about how we were watching a powerful woman who has a high net-worth and a visible platform, but even she can’t avoid her ex attempting to control her actions as they go through a divorce.
I was highly triggered by Kanye West’s actions. I recognized the smear campaign as soon as he started posting screenshots and suddenly complaining about Kim as a co-parent.
I have been a victim of smear campaigns which is where the person with Narcissistic tendencies goes around to people that they believe like you and try to change their perception of you. If you don’t have a strong support system, it can be very difficult to recover from being bullied by a group of people who don’t like you. Often, they will spend time creating doubt before they launch a full attack at your character. While a regular person has to spend months breaking down your character behind your back, someone like West can use his platform to change the minds of millions of people.
No one knows the details of the relationship between Kim Kardashian and Kanye West. But, the behavior West has displayed has been extreme and alarming. He created a video about Kardashian’s current boyfriend where West decapitates him in effigy. You have to question why someone who recently was holding “church services” would suddenly be portraying murder in his videos. He has dedicated his music to either bullying or trying to pressure his ex-wife into returning to a relationship with him by weaponizing both of their celebrity. The insanity is that Kanye continues to date other women while attacking Kim for doing the same thing.
While many of the social media response has been to either ignore Kanye’s gestures or to decide that he brought the whole situation on himself, the disturbing responses have been women who call it “normal” when you separate from a man you have children with. Or, for the men who attempt to use it as proof that men have to fight for their right to be involved with their children, which is a narrative that West has been using to explain his behavior despite also being photographed with his children.
The situation has been escalating in front of the world, but people think it’s apart of the show. I hope the public can realize that this is not a spectacle we are watching. This is the end of an emotionally abusive relationship. A Narcissist doesn’t view their children and ex as people, but as property and they will stop at nothing to get their property back, even move across the street to watch.
Anyone who views their situation and sees a similarity seek help if you are planning to separate. If it can happen in the spotlight of the world, it can surely happen in the silence behind closed doors.
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