
This week on Instagram, I saw a video where actress Paulina Porizkov said that most men don’t want to date a woman in her 50s or 60s.
Her comments really hit my heart. Recently, I’ve been feeling very connected to the Jillian who is in her 40s and 50s. I think about how, if she is single, most of my male friends of the same age wouldn’t date her. (Context for people who are reading this and don’t know me — I’m in my twenties.)
I shared this in my Instagram stories, along with this commentary:
“To every man reading this, if you’ve never dated a woman your own age, why? If you almost always date younger women, why?
Because here’s my knowing (trigger alert):
Whether you recognize it or not, older men usually date younger women because they have fewer boundaries and expectations. They’re easier to control. And you as a man cannot handle the power of a woman your age.
This is something I have been talking about and reflecting on a lot, but never posted on social media because I want everyone to like me. And this is something that men probably don’t want to hear. But I’m working on being ok with people not liking me so… I said what I said.”
What happened next absolutely blew my mind. I’ve never received so many DMs from people.
Almost 100 women said that they would join for a conversation on this topic.
Clearly, this discussion stirred people’s emotions. You can see it in my stories highlights here. I include (with permission) tons of messages that people sent me.
This morning I was doing a guided meditation, and the voice asked: “What gift do you want to give people?” I thought about it and started to cry. Because this week, I want to give women the gift of knowing that they’re lovable, desirable, and worthy at any age — regardless of the feedback that they’re given. I want women to feel that in their soul.
I was so inspired I even decided to make my first Youtube video. You can watch it below, and leave a kind comment to continue the conversation!
To learn more about me, you can visit my website here: www.thatjillian.com
You can also leave a donation to thank me for my work here.
—
This post was previously published on medium.com.
***
You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism |
Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box |
The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer |
![]() |
—
Photo credit: Pablo Heimplatz on Unspalsh
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism
Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box
The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer

Men don’t see relationships in terms of power. We don’t care about our girlfriend’s accomplishments. We don’t care about how much money she has or what her job is, or even if she has one. Younger women tend to be less “experienced,” which is preferable. They tend to be happier, friendlier and more comforting. They also tend to be better looking, though that isn’t the main thing. Less experience means I’m less likely to be compared to some old bf or to trigger her accidentally. The more trauma someone’s been through, the less likely a good relationship is. Sorry, but… Read more »
Because women date up. They all go for guys older than them. So I can’t go for chicks my age, because I’m too young for them. This is isn’t our choice. I would much rather have a gf that I shared certain occuurances..