Aikido Founder Morihei Ueshiba said, “True victory is victory over oneself.” I’m always my GOAT (Greatest of All-Time) opponent. Ishibashi Sensei says, “Apply the (Aikido) technique to yourself.” I don’t look at the attacker. They are irrelevant. It’s me against me. I enter the attack, enter the danger. In the center of the attack, in the danger, I choose to let the attacker pass or end the attack. The attacker chooses to take the fall or stand down from their attack. Both sides choose.
I’m 5’3”. I’m small. The attackers are bigger and stronger than I am. I wait out the attack. I stand straight and tall. Well, I stand as tall as I can. When the attacker is committed in their attack, I enter and die with honor. I take a glancing blow if I have to. It’s one time. I’m not going unscathed. I apply the Aikido technique to myself. That could be yoko-iriminage (strike to the side of the head) or nikkyo (wrist lock).
I told Ishibashi Sensei that I think I’m 6’2” when the bigger, stronger man attacks. Sensei smiled. Placing his hand to his heart, he said, “It’s what’s here.” I got it. I just have to be me, not someone else. I’m the best that I can be. That’s not just for the Dojo.
I’ve trained in Aikido for nearly 35 years. I’m Godan (5th-degree black belt). Honestly, I don’t care if some 250-pound dude attacks me. I wait it out. I enter the attack. I match his attack with mine. If I defend against the attack, I can be defeated. I apply the Aikido technique to myself, whether that’s yoko-iriminage or nikkyo. I could win or lose. The attacker could win or lose. What happens, happens.
Asking a woman I like very much to see a movie and get sushi is far, far scarier than the 250-pound dude coming to punch my face. That’s just me. Although I have mad skills in Aikido, I don’t in dating. Just saying.
In my own trials and tribulations with women and dating on Match dot com, I get that I’m not what women want. I’m 5’3”. I’m not handsome. I’m not exactly rich. In dating women, I enter the danger, enter what I fear. I fear that I’m not good enough for a woman I love. I fear that she’ll inevitably dismiss me.
Still, it’s what’s here, inside me: My heart, kindness, and courage. I work to become the greater man, the greater person. I work on myself, not on others. Just train. I have nothing to do with what goes on inside someone else. I have a lot to do with what goes on inside me. I accept that I’m not good enough for a woman I love. I’m not what she’s looking for. She wants someone, tall and handsome. I get it. Nothing’s personal. I don’t make myself wrong. I let it go.
I love myself for who I am and forgive myself for who I’m not. I practice that over, and over, and over again. I just train. I open up. I keep my heart open. Keep moving forward.
I’ll never be tall and handsome like Hugh Jackman or Keanu Reeves. Then again, Hugh and Keanu can’t throw the 250-pound dude coming to punch them, who’s not a stuntman in their movies. Just saying. That being said, I’m just me. I let it go. It’s what’s inside me: love, courage, and forgiveness. I practice kindness and grace for others and for myself. I may fail greatly with the woman, I love. At least, I fail while daring greatly, daring to be me. I’m good with that.
It’s what’s here. What’s in my heart. In the bigger picture, that makes the difference. I work on myself, not on others. I work on becoming the greater man, the greater person. That’s all on me. Let the chips fall where they may. Who knows? Maybe, lightning could strike. Just saying.
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