Coffee dates will help you find the perfect partner. They’re an ace first date. Better than a fancy three-course dinner anyway…
Don’t listen to the TikTokers and Medium writers who say otherwise.
If your Tinder match doesn’t want to meet for coffee, she’s not the woman for you.
Here’s why coffee dates are the best way to create an emotional connection.
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Coffee Dates Are Casual
Women feel more comfortable agreeing to casual first dates.
They don’t need to spend ages dolling themselves up. They don’t have to commit to spending hours with someone they don’t know. There’s less pressure overall.
If a woman is ‘on the fence’ about meeting you, they’re more likely to agree to coffee than a formal dinner date.
Modern women are overwhelmed with romantic options. Men are hitting them up on Tinder, Bumble, Instagram and elsewhere. If they feel even slightly awkward about a first date, they’ll flake and go out with someone else. As a man, it’s your job to make it as easy as possible for women to meet you.
That means suggesting something casual. According to the 2022 Match Singles In America survey, 84% of singles say they prefer casual dates over stuffy wine and dines.
Coffee Dates Can Be Spontaneous
Once you’re on a date, you can build an emotional connection. But you’ve got to get her out first.
Women have more options than ever, which has made them flakier than ever. Your best shot is to invite them out quickly.
If you wait too long, the next wave of guys will have stolen her attention.
The best thing about a coffee date is you can whisk women away to a cafe immediately.
I’ve done this when meeting women in the real world and straight after matching with them on Tinder.
More complicated date ideas require more preparation on her part. That gives her more time to forget how awesome you are.
Coffee Dates Allow You To Get To Know Each Other
Ossiana Tepfenhart argues that it’s “entitled” for men to think that drinking coffee should be enough to woo a girl.
But it’s the emotional connection that creates a romantic spark, not the date venue.
Coffee dates create a casual setting for two people to get to know each other. And that’s the most important thing, right?
A date idea with an activity — such as mini-golf or axe throwing — might be more thoughtful and original. But these activities can get in the way of getting to know each other. Cinema or concert dates definitely will.
Plus, these ideas all require more planning and commitment. And that’s just not the vibe for the latest generation of singles.
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Do Coffee Dates Make You Look Cheap And Lazy?
Christan Marashio – Dateology Coach says they do. In fact, this seems to be the biggest gripe among anti-coffee-date influencers.
Supposedly, men should be willing to buy a woman dinner even if they’ve never met in the real world.
Ladies, you might be worth a three-course meal. But this guy doesn’t know that yet. Would you buy someone dinner if you weren’t sure you liked them yet?
A coffee date is a low-risk opportunity for two people to find out if they have a connection. If they do, dinner dates will surely follow.
When a woman wants to get to know you, she’ll accept your invite for a coffee date. When she wants a free dinner, she’ll shame you for suggesting a cheap idea.
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A Coffee Date Creates The Perfect Balance Between ‘Nice Guy’ and ‘F*ckboy’
Carlyn Beccia says coffee dates make her feel disposable.
“Coffee Date Guy asks 2–3 girls out a week,” she argues.
That might be true. But this creates a better first impression than Dinner Date Guy.
Dinner Date Guy is so desperate for female company that he’ll buy dinner for a woman he’s never met.
He emanates ‘nice guy’ vibes which kill any chance of a lasting romance. At best, he’ll get used for a couple more free dinners before his beau says she doesn’t feel ‘the spark.’
Then, there’s Netflix and Chill Guy who wouldn’t dream of buying women drinks because he can attract effortless hook-ups from Tinder. This f*ckboy gets more action than the ‘nice guy’, but he’ll scare off some women looking for a serious relationship.
The Coffee Date Guy is the perfect balance between these two extremes. He’ll be the most attractive choice for most women.
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What About Cocktail Dates?
Dates at a bar are a close second place to coffee dates.
Women who work during the daytime may only be available in the evenings, when coffee is less desirable.
Bars, like cafes, are a casual choice. They’ll usually allow you to sit next to your date and flirt physically. They also place the focus on conversation, rather than how much money you’ll spend to impress her.
Personally, I don’t like to get drunk on dates and would prefer if my date stayed sober.
That’s why coffee dates get the gold medal for me.
But how about you? Perhaps we can use this article to settle the coffee date debate once and for all.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Gian Cescon on Unsplash
