Being Who You Are in a Relationship

Relationships are a tricky business. Their purpose is to find someone who can become your safe space — a person you can count on, lean on, laugh with, and live with. But to reach that point, it takes a lot of effort, especially in building trust and understanding the other person.

Every individual is unique and all of us come with our own set of experiences, fears, and insecurities. Some might feel insecure about their partner hanging out with other males/females, some might feel ignored if not called daily, and the list goes on.

I was recently in a situation where I was shying away from confronting my partner about some of such weird insecurities that I hold because to me, it seemed that I must understand and trust him instead of doubting him. And there even was an added pressure of not coming across as silly, given that I am a top-ranked relationship blogger.

But you know what?

The only solution to this and a solid foundation for a successful long-term relationship can be built when you are :

open and honest about your needs,
convey them in a polite and respectful manner,
and have the courage to not settle down for anything that does not fulfill those needs,
because if you do so, you will end up in a relationship that makes you anxious, rather than happy and content.

So, coming back to the idea of a safe space that we started with, it is built. It is not a given. You will feel insecure about certain things and the only way out is communication.

You convey what you feel to your partner and then it becomes their job to reassure you and make you feel safe. And this goes both ways.

Hard work, right?

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Thanks for reading.

Check out my other pieces on relationships and life here: Bhanu Singhal

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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