Let Go, Move On, and Heal After a Toxic Relationship

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In the aftermath of a toxic or narcissistic relationship, we can lose all sense of self. Whether our partner tried to steal our joy at every opportunity, or they wore down our self-esteem with endless arguments and cold-shoulder treatments . . . the end of a relationship like this will leave us feeling disoriented and lost, and it can be hard to rewire our brains and resume normal life once we’re free.

At this point, it can be unbelievably hard to trust other people again. Logically, we may understand that not everyone’s like our ex . . . but emotionally, we see danger at every turn.

But there is a way we can heal—so we can move on and learn to trust ourselves again. And in today’s video, I share 3 mindsets that can help you do just that.

Matthew Hussey posts new love life advice for you every weekend on YouTube.

Transcript provided by YouTube. Edited slightly with AI.

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When a Toxic Person Becomes Our World

Sometimes in life, a dangerous person comes along – a person that ends up causing more damage to us, our self-esteem, our sense of selves, and our life than we ever thought possible. When we encounter such individuals during times of vulnerability, we might not realize the extent of the harm they can do. This article discusses how toxic relationships can reshape our brain and offers three mindsets to help heal from such experiences.

Rewiring Our Brain

Toxic individuals can gradually become our world, monopolizing our time, energy, and emotions. This can lead to rewiring our brain, blurring the lines between that person and the rest of the world. The pain caused by such relationships can instill a generalized fear of others, hindering our ability to form new, healthy connections.

How This Rewires Our Brain

Toxic relationships can rewire our brains, making us associate danger and pain with all relationships. This emotional response can linger even after the toxic person is no longer part of our lives, affecting our ability to trust and form new connections.

1. Rewrite the Narrative of That Relationship:

To heal from a toxic relationship, it’s crucial to rewrite the narrative we tell ourselves. Rather than concluding that all people can’t be trusted, recognize that staying despite evidence of harm is a choice. Shift the focus from a general mistrust to learning from specific decisions and situations.

2. Celebrate the Small, Brave Steps You Take:

Taking small, courageous steps toward vulnerability is essential. These actions may seem ordinary to others but are monumental for someone healing from a toxic relationship. By conducting small experiments in trust and vulnerability, we can gradually expand our comfort zone and rebuild connections.

3. Stumbles Are Okay:

It’s natural to stumble on the path to healing and growth. Mistakes shouldn’t be viewed as confirmation that trust is impossible, but as opportunities to learn. Progress isn’t about achieving perfect judgment but rather about recognizing when to leave toxic situations sooner and upholding personal boundaries.

Trusting Yourself

Trusting yourself to set and maintain boundaries is more critical than trusting everyone around you. Knowing you can take care of yourself empowers you to navigate relationships with a sense of agency and security.

Conclusion

Healing from a toxic relationship involves rewiring our brains and rewriting our narratives. Celebrating small steps and understanding that stumbles are part of the process are essential components of growth. Trusting ourselves to take care of our well-being paves the way for healthier relationships and a more fulfilling life.

This post was previously published on YouTube.

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