Being Whole vs. Being Good…

Motivation has been lacking, wading through the emotional aftermath of having a party weekend. My partner and I went to Boomtown Festival. It’s a festival that’s a tad hedonistic. Essentially the Wild West of Winchester. I find it’s important for me to occasionally “let the wheels fall off” as I call it. “Don’t think, just do”. And that we did. Big time! We also worked there — it was actually the main reason for us going. I ran my R.A.G.E workshop, EMOSHPIT and held sharing circles. All did their jobs with regard to being Emotionally Expressive Experiences. It was awesome to see people feeling the freedom of a good old roar! My partner’s talk on “A compass for better relationships” went down a storm too. I was bursting with happiness for her (and pride). It was such a lovely feeling, doing what you love, with someone you love, and helping people with expressing love (acknowledging and clearing out one’s rage/anger is an expression of self-love).

Surprisingly, the main thing that caused the resistance to making a start was coming off caffeine again. There’s such a fog with it (which, because I’m a geek like that, I tested by having a brew on Wednesday — my mood and clarity instantly changed!). It’s like you’re thinking through cotton wool. The fog is procrastination’s bessie friend. They go together like peas and carrots and make doing nothing incredibly alluring.

So, how did I break through? Well, I continued the “don’t think, just do”. My body wanted rest so I made a start in giving it that. By practising “reclaiming what I’m exiling” I managed to get what I wanted done AND rest. I used to have a fixed idea of “even if you don’t feel like it, it’s bad to be a slacker”. In thinking that, and acting accordingly, I was exiling a part of me. A part that needs love as much as the rest. Part of me is lazy AF and I found acknowledging it, bringing it into the light (instead of hiding in the dust from fingers on the keyboard) meant that the procrastination went away a lot sooner.

Going slow for a bit and taking proper rest when it was needed enabled me to work in bursts instead of slogging it out and forcing myself to sit in front of a computer because that’s what my head said is “doing work”. There’s a phrase, “work like an artist” which I take to mean, work when you feel inspired, not when you feel you should. TBC to see long-term effects but so far, so good. It also feels great to accept a part of me that’s been sent to its room for far too long.

All hail self-liberation from Draconia!

As always, there’s a practice below to try out.

Thanks for reading,

Adam 🙂

PRACTICE: Reclaiming what I’m exiling

WHY: To quote Carl Yung, “It’s better to be whole than good.” We all have bits of ourselves we perhaps don’t like. The thing is though, the fuel of these “sub-personalities” is our negative thoughts towards them. All parts of us just want to be seen and heard. When we let them, they tend to get quieter and we find peace.

HOW TO START: Ask yourself, “How do I honestly feel?” then whatever it is, say it out loud, preferably to someone but even saying it out loud when alone helps. Or “What don’t I like about myself?” then try loving the bit of you that is doing the not liking as well as the bit you don’t like. It’s okay not to like (I can feel emotion moving even as I type that!)

For more tools on tips to become better at expressing your emotions download my free e-guide here

Living consciously and by choice instead of by habit is fantastic but it’s not easy. It takes practise. It’s called “doing the work” for a reason. If you’re ready to step out of the waiting room of life, I’ll save you a lot of time on your journey to freedom by supporting you through the insecurity of change. Book a free discovery call here

—

This post was previously published on medium.com.

***