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Making the decision to get divorced isn’t easy. The process of getting divorced isn’t easy either. If you aren’t prepared, it can really make life difficult, at least in the short term.
It’s important to be prepared ahead of a divorce. Here’s how to start getting your ducks in a row so the divorce process goes more smoothly.
Get Familiar With the Terminology
Getting divorced is a legal process that involves a lot of paperwork and often a lot of back and forth with your soon-to-be ex-spouse. It also involves a lot of terminology that can cause your head to spin.
As you’re preparing to get divorced, make sure you hire an attorney, but preparing for the process should also include understanding divorce terminology. When you already know the jargon, it makes it easier to communicate with your attorney. Understanding the terms also enables you to better know what options are available to you, which could help you make a more informed decision about your future.
Just a few terms to know include:
- No-fault divorce: Neither spouse is required to prove that the other did something wrong
- Legal separation: Both parties separate, but because the marriage isn’t dissolved, each spouse cannot remarry
- Annulment: This legal procedure makes the marriage null and void, as if it never happened
- Mediation: A neutral third party helps the couple come to an agreement
Choose Your Support Team
It’s never too early, or too late, to assemble your support team. Whether you’ve only just begun thinking about getting divorced or you and your partner have hired lawyers, it’s a good idea to have people around you to help you through the process.
Your team should include friends and family who know about your upcoming divorce, but it should also include a team of professionals. It should include an attorney, but it may also include a financial planner, a spiritual leader, and a therapist who can all help you make it through.
Assemble the Right Information
When you meet with an attorney, they will have a lot of questions to ask. They will also ask you for a lot of documents. Having all that information ready to go can make the beginning of a divorce a lot easier.
Some of the documents you’ll need include:
- Income-related documents like paycheck stubs, tax returns, and financial statements
- Real estate documents like mortgage statements and tax assessor’s statements
- Information on joint financial accounts like savings certificates and bank statements
- Documents related to owned property like cars, artwork, and electronics
The more complete the information you provide to your attorney, the easier it is for your attorney to help you come up with a fair divorce settlement. With documents like these, your attorney can clearly see your particular situation and come up with fair and equitable options when it comes to child support, alimony, and the division of your property.
Organize Your Finances
Organizing your finances means providing the right documents to your attorney, but there’s a lot more you need to do to make sure your money is protected throughout the divorce process.
You’ll want to start separating your finances from your spouse’s finances. That means getting a different checking account, starting a separate emergency fund, and creating a new budget as a single-income household.
You will also want to get real about the debt you hold with your partner. Know what you’re on the hook for and what you’re not, so it can properly be accounted for in the divorce proceedings.
Identify Personal Property
Teasing apart your property is one of the most time-consuming parts of the divorce process. You have to figure out what belongs to who and figure out who gets what when it comes to shared property.
Houses, land, and vehicles are the most obvious items that need to be separated, but you also have to consider who gets the cookware, family photos, and furniture.
Be prepared by making a list of the things that you know you want, the things that you would like but would be willing to give up, and the things you don’t mind letting go. That way you can minimize the back-and-forth when you’re ready to divvy up your assets.
Create a New Living Plan
What’s life going to be like after you separate? Are you going to live in your shared home, or will you be moving somewhere else? What kinds of things did your spouse do that will now be your responsibility?
It’s well worth your time to start creating a new living plan as early as possible. Not only will it give you peace of mind because you know exactly where you’re going to end up, but it can help you avoid potential problems, like a lapse in car insurance or dealing with unpaid bills that you aren’t used to paying.
Make Time For Fun
The process of getting divorced can feel heavy. It’s normal for it to consume your thoughts from the moment you wake up in the morning until you fall asleep at night.
It’s important to be prepared and give the process the attention it deserves, but it can’t be your entire world. It’s important to make time for fun throughout the process too.
That might mean getting a massage or getting your nails done, or it could mean taking the kids to a theme park or going to a concert.
The key is to choose fun activities that force you to stop thinking about your divorce. When you’re able to mentally spend some time away, you’ll be able to come back to the proceedings with a fresh outlook that will make the process go more smoothly.
The process of getting divorced is always hard. Don’t make it harder by going into it unprepared. Take the time to understand important legal terms, get important information in order, and start thinking about where you’re going to live so you can move forward confidently and comfortably in your new life.
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