He Proposed to Me on Our First Date

I fell in love with detangling human emotions when I was too young.

Learning why I got angry at my mom and why I felt my heart pounding randomly at night became my obsession. Why do I feel this? Why did I act that way? I found an itch in me to understand every thought and emotion that popped up.

In the rabbit hole of podcasts and lectures on psychology, I got sucked into understanding the dating games as well. I became acquainted with the definition of red and green flags before I ever dated someone. You can say I’m somewhat of a self-taught expert on love and relationships.

I’ll ace a rapid fire with absolute confidence about what’s a red flag behavior and what’s a green one.

And if you asked me, I would say, without hesitation, that somebody proposing to you on a first date is one of the biggest red flags.

But all my expertise went down the drain when he told me he loved me and wanted to marry me on our first date.

I was shocked, to say the least. But beyond the shock, it was amusing. I laughed in his face and told him how insane that sounds. I mean, he has to be kidding, right?

“But I’m not asking you to marry me right now, I’m only letting you know how I feel; you can take as much time as you need,” he said.

Fast forward a year later, and I am the one who can’t wait to marry this guy.

My whole life I have been waiting for the perfect guy. Somebody who fits the magical love story I have painted in my mind. A random nobody from a dating app was not what I had in mind.

So what happened?

I laughed and ridiculed his proposal, calling him stupid for it, yet I couldn’t stop talking to him. He was cocaine, and I was addicted.

The spark? No, it was fireworks on the 4th of July.

Deep down, I wanted him to mess it up—to show red flags, so I had a reason to dump him. But he was saying and doing all the right things, leaving me more confused than ever.

How could he fall in love with me without knowing me if he’s not some lame, immature guy?

I still don’t understand it, but his explanation melts my heart every time I hear it.

“I had given up on dating, and you were the first person I talked to in years. During our first conversation, I felt a strong voice inside me saying you are the one. It was not subtle or confusing; it was as clear to me as my own name. You are the one. And I couldn’t let you go.”

To hell with the red flags. This man is a whole green forest, and he has proved it every minute of every day I’ve known him.

Oh, and I did not say yes right away, but thank God I did.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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