Note: I normally hate Christmas music. “Song for a winter’s night” – Gordon Lightfoot: songs about love can make you feel lonely when you’re single. But sometimes, it’s nostalgic and nice. “Oogie Boogie’s song” – Nightmare Before Christmas: bad guys love jazz. “All I want for Christmas is you” – Mariah Carey: I really like…
Ten things I've learned about business from purchasing a 6 inch cheese sub from Itza Submarine
You can own a successful antique store. You can own a successful independent sandwich store. They can’t be the same store. White walls and flourescent lighting are not that flattering when serving food. When interacting with customers, try your best not to say that you are about to be locked out of your business because…
Ten things I’ve learned from soca music
There is no end to the number of sexual double-entendres you can make. Sometimes you just need to take it like you own it. Meh head spinnin, too much drinkin. Also, I want de rum in de mornin…. Dance music can be political. Not a lot of white people like soca music. But those white…
Ten things I’ve learned from having acne
Don’t wash your face more than once or twice a day. It leads to increased oil build-up and break-outs. Don’t use harsh topical creams like tetracycline. It will mess you up later. Use gentle cleanser gently (I like gentle Cetaphil), and take hot showers every morning. Don’t scrub your face, don’t use a washcloth. Don’t…
Ten things I’ve learned from writing a resume
NOTE: I love my job. I haven’t even looked at my resume in ages. But I learned how to write a pretty decent resume, and you should too… My experience working for one month at HMV…probably not relevant. Get friends you trust who are smarter than you to look over your resume. Use descriptive words…
Ten things I’ve learned from riding a bicycle
I learned how to ride a bicycle later in life. It was embarrassing at the beginning, but thrilling by the end. Cycling is just a question of momentum. It’s when you stop moving that you have problems. “It’s as close as I have ever gotten to flying.” – Aaron S, my friend, on riding a…
Ten things I've learned from going to bars
Don’t expect to meet the love of your life at a bar. And if you do meet the love of your life at a bar, what kind of person are you? Alcohol makes you funny, angry, sad, sleepy, or argumentative. But really, it doesn’t make you do anything; it was all there to begin with.…
Ten things I've learned from my grandma, Maloha
If you can live to be in your mid 90’s and still be independent, single-minded, and stubborn, you’ve done well. If a 4′ something, 90 pound senior citizen can intimidate a 7″ something, 300 pound young man, you know she’s a tough lady. 4 different husbands! That’s where I get it from…. Railroad Flat is…
Ten things I've learned from dog walking
Gross things smell amazing! There is something peaceful and calming about wandering through a park, leash in hand, a hairy dog by your side. It’s strange to feel validated by watching an animal defecate. Bags are turned inside out before picking up poo. Why? Objects we may not notice on a regular day are often…
Ten things I’ve learned from dressing myself
Sweatpants are not cool unless you are under the age of 10 or in gym class. And even then… I used to wear clothes that were too baggy. I’ve learned something: wear clothes that fit your frame. It looks better. I wish I still had my Alf t-shirt from grade 6. It would be so…
Ten things I've learned from working in the music business
The “music business” is more like selling shoes than writing a symphony. There are a number of extremely talented artists out there. There are also a number of savvy self-promoters with average musical talent. There are not a lot of extremely talented artists who are also savvy self-promoters. It’s a small community. Say a few…
Ten things I've learned from funk music
If you have ants in your pants, then you need to dance. If you have hot pants, they are probably smoking. And you definitely need to dance. If you are on that thing, you need to get up off of it. Shit! Goddamn! Get off your ass and jam! When I find a vacant booty,…
Ten things I’ve learned from living in Brooklyn
The place Mos Def, Jay Z, Biggie, and ODB grew up is different than the BedStuy of today. For instance: more white people. Gentrification greatly changes the culture of a neighbourhood. It can be good (reducing violent crime), and it can be bad (displacing long-time residents). Block parties are real, and they are amazing. There…
Ten things I've learned about weight loss from seeing a nutritionist
If you follow the rules below for a long time, you will lose weight. It worked for me…now if only I could get back to eating this way again… Weight loss is, in theory, incredibly simple: energy in, energy out. Dieting is bullshit; you have to change your lifestyle. Eat multiple meals throughout the day.…
Ten things I've learned from long-form improv classes
The Impatient Theater has great classes. Have a strong opinion. Care about each other. Make the active choice. Aim for beauty, settle for comedy. Find the first odd thing in a scene: that’s the game. Be honest. Trust your partner. Play against type. Avoid puns. Don’t talk about what you’re doing. It’s boring.
Ten things I’ve learned from watching Buffy
If you aren’t in love with Willow, you are crazy. Being a teenager is hell. There is somebody who understands you. His name is Joss Whedon. Everybody has a purpose, everybody has a calling. I spent many hours watching Buffy and Angel with my sister. I’ll always treasure that time. I get Xander now. I…