You say, “keep my head from going down” Just for a little, just for a little Watch my feet float off the ground Just for a little, just for a little Love, if you can hear this sound Oh, just give me something, something to believe in Parachute When last I blogged, I said…
Reed My Writing
Cruising on a Friday
In her defense, it was black and one could make the argument it was hard to see. My teenage Drama Queen’s first semester of high school was officially over Thursday and the students had a day off on Friday. With that in mind, I arranged to meet my friend Steve at his son’s apartment a…
I’m a big loser
I was going to give myself a virtual high five for the catchy title, but the more I thought about it, a fifth grader could have come up with it. My apologies. This is my before and after. In case you’re confused about which is the before, the one on…
A teenage life lesson
I need to go find a way to accomplish that. Somehow. Yes. That’s me in 1984. I’m not sure where to start mocking myself. Is it the hair? The glasses? How about that shitty wanna be porn ‘stache I was trying to grow? Maybe the fact that I was 6 ft 180 pounds and a…
Somewhere Over The Rainbow
And the dreams that you dreamed of Once in a lullaby Israel “IZ” Kamakawiwo’ole (Hawaiian pronunciation: [ka-maka-iwo’ole] If someone told me I would be quoting lyrics from the High Holy Diva of homosexual men (Judy Garland) I would say you’re sm0king crack AND sniffing glue. Yet here I am, quoting song…
How many balls are too many?
…the more balls the better. First off, this is NOT a post about balls. I swear. I’m a guy and when the opportunity to make a ball joke pops up, I have to roll with it. Ya know? So if it’s not about juevos, what is this post about? I’m glad you asked. Wednesday was…
A tale of two years
It’s finally 2012 and for that I’m glad. 2011 was a shitty year for me, but I have big hopes for 2012. Of course, a year ago I said I had big hopes for 2011 and we know how that turned out. 2011 saw my health deteriorate and lots of financial stress,…
Miracles do happen
I totally just made that up. With no liquor involved. Cool. First off, Merry Whatever-it-is-you-celebrate. I could lace this blog post with innuendo and double entendre, but for some reason I don’t feel like it tonight. I mean, yule logs, eggnog and mistletoe jokes are easy holiday entertainment, but I’ll…
Holiday Rewind
It’s Festivus… for the rest of us! This is a post I ran December 23 last year. It’s my early Christmas gift to you. or Chanukah or Kwanza. Whatever your thing is. It’s simply the best Effing holiday of the year. Seriously. I first became aware of Festivus at the same time many…
The Riddle
Here’s a riddle for you Find the answer There’s a reason for the world You and I… Five For Fighting John Ondrasik is straight up rad. Chill out. I don’t have a man crush on him or anything. John is a singer/songwriter who records under the name Five For Fighting, which coincidentally is…
My Rules of Engagement
“No thanks. I’m gonna pass on playing cowboy with James Bond’s alien.” Dateline:Thursday night. My bed. There I was, desperately trying to fall asleep. No mater how hard I tried, I couldn’t shut down my brain and drift off to the peaceful slumber I desired. Thought after…
Lonely Boy
When I dance around the kitchen as I cook, it looks vaguely like this video, only way shittier. I dig the Black Keys and you should too. Maybe that was too strong a statement. Let me try this again. I dig the Black Keys and believe that it’s worth a three…
Bald Writer Dude
I’m proud to announce that I’ve finally completed the totally overdue re-branding of my professional site. You can now find me at www.baldwriterdude.com. How did I come up with that name? Simple. I’m bald. I’m a writer. I’m a dude. I put them all together, checked GoDaddy to see if the URL was…
Closer To The Edge
Can you imagine a time when the truth ran free? The birth of a song, The death of a dream Closer to the edge Thirty Seconds to Mars I was listening to Pandora last week and this song came on. I’ve heard it a bunch of times, but for some reason the…
They call me House
“Because that’s where people with your type of insurance go.” I’m currently scared shitless. I know that’s not the best way to start a blog post, but it’s the truth. A little over five years ago, while having an MRI of my brain the neurologist found a tumor called an acoustic neuroma. The tumor…
The wrong side of 45
“Buttercup took the dirt nap.” Me Today I turn 46, which means I’m now officially on the countdown to 50. I really don’t care about the number, because I believe it’s about how old you feel. Unfortunately I have days where I feel like I’m 90 and others where I feel 17 and that I’m…