This comment was by Luis Garrido on the post Can Men Live Alone?
As a recently divorced man who is living alone for the first time in his life at the age of 39, I can say that at some point in your life, it is actually impossible to live alone.
In fact, I live with multiple ghosts.
There are the ghosts of my three children who come visit me weekly. My first ‘bachelor pad” is actually a nice three bedroom apartment in the suburbs. Close to the library and the parks, not the bars and city nightlife. During the week when they’re not there, I can feel their presence. Through the relics of their last visit, through their possessions which get so carefully put away after they leave – something that rarely used to happen when we all lived together.
There’s the ghost of my ex-wife who I still struggle to reconcile with in my mind because we haven’t been able to reconcile in the physical world. She surfaces when I least expect it. When I drink from the faucet or make a dish she didn’t like, when my girlfriend pays a visit, but mostly at night when I try to figure out why things ended up the way they did. How it got so ugly.
The last ghost I live with is all too familiar. He’s there reminding me of what I long ago was determined to accomplish and who I wanted to be. Reminding me of the things that got in the way and how I’ve navigated to where I am. He’s a friendly ghost, like the kids. And along with the kids, he makes it possible for me to continue to keep living alone but without an expectation that it will always be this way or that there is one singular path forward. He reminds me that I am resilient and, ultimately, have done a decent job of navigating through life. I think my younger self would be alright with living alone right now and that helps me to embrace what is.
photo: eschipul / flickr