Unless you are one of those lads who ended up meeting your true love at the freshmen homecoming dance and ended up marrying her after college, the normal lot of us have been around the block a few times when it comes to dating. I am sure you can attest to the fact that no matter how many women you’ve been in contact with throughout your life, the most difficult thing for us men to ascertain is whether this one is actually the one.
As for myself, I have been married to two different women (one of which I married twice and divorced twice). To be quite honest, I knew the first marriage was doomed to fail but we hung on for about 12 years. We ended up divorcing and then remarrying a couple of years later – ending in a second divorce a year later.
The second time around, I ended up marrying a gal from Indonesia. Between marriages, I found time to date girls from all different parts of the world – Africa, Mexico, Russia, the Virgin Islands, only to name a few. So, just to let you other fellows know, I do have some experience in the women’s department.
If you are reading this article, apparently you were Googling “How to know she is right for you.” I can only imagine why a guy would Google that, but it is fair to assume it is because you found someone special and you are wondering if this girl could be the one. There is no need for a long list, so that is why I am only going to give you five things to look for that really matter.
1. She Offers to Flip the Bill Every Now and Again
Every woman who ever left a really strong impression in my mind always had certain characteristics that seemed pretty much universal, no matter what their race, religion or nationality. One of those telltale characteristics that let me know this was a good woman was her willingness to either pitch in out of her own pocket on a night out or even go as far as pay for dinner.
Even though some people in today’s modern age might find this sort of distasteful – you know? Letting the women pay – I never expected her to pay in the first place, nor did I play the old I-left-my-wallet-at-home ruse. These women genuinely, from their hearts wanted to help pay for parts of our date.
Of course, being a gentleman, I at least let them know they didn’t have to. Some conceded and I ended up pay for everything, while others insisted. Either way. it was a sweet gesture.
2. She Challenges You Intellectually
Being in my late 30s, I am pretty old-fashioned when it comes to the type of women I actually take seriously. I learned from my mother, a woman who comes from an era when women still worked in the home and weren’t too interested in walking in the footsteps of men. She handed these expectations of femininity down to me. I am not saying that I expect women to stay barefoot and pregnant but I am saying I like a soft-spoken woman.
The best type of women any good man can have is one who doesn’t resort to yelling and arguing when she wants to make her point. Intellectual women are more prone to sit down with you and talk any differences you guys may have, out. She can make you accept she was right and you were wrong without letting the neighborhood know.
3. Her Taste in Men Doesn’t Sit in Contrast With Who You Actually Are
One thing some women did that turned me off to them right off the bat, was expressing an attraction in singers or movie stars that didn’t share one of my attributes. For example, I am more of the Ice Road Trucker type. A girl who seemed to find pretty boys so hot all the time raised red flags. I have a beard, a big broad body, and shaved head.
Men who are looking to get serious with a girl should have a general understanding of what women find attractive so that they can fix those things they don’t mind fixing. Women are a lot like us men. Each one is attracted to what they’re attracted to. I’ve had friends who love “plus size” women. I, on the other hand, love really petite women. You don’t have to get stuck on one girl just because she is drop dead gorgeous. Find one even more beautiful who loves your beer belly.
4. Upon First Meeting Her, You Felt Comfortable With Her
For me, it is never a good sign if the woman and I seem to feel odd around each other. Often times we want to be patient and figure this feeling is only normal – you guys are just now beginning to know one another, right?
Though all situations are different, it has been my experience that what started out as some kind of awkward feeling turns out to be an actual problem down the road. Not paying attention to the signs is one of the top reasons relationships fail.
On the other hand, it was the moment I saw a picture of my present wife I knew I would marry her. Crazy, right? But it’s true. Even before I met her, there was something about her smile that literally spoke to my soul. The first time we met, it was like I was meeting an old friend I hadn’t seen in a few years.
This post was part of a paid partnership.