There is only one thing to keep in mind if you want to have the best date ever: Have fun! Yet, when it comes to dating it seems people put a lot of emphasis on the end result rather than being in the moment and having a good time. Whether you’re new to the dating market or you’re a veteran dater, the key to having the best date ever is enjoying the moment for what it is: a good time out with someone you really, really like. That’s all you can do. Sure, you may want to know where the date your on might lead to, i.e., will you he/she want to have sex or whether he/she will want a second date or a commitment. However, if you focus on anything other than having a good time on your date you will create a toxic, perhaps even anxious environment that will most certainly end your chance at getting a second or third date. The key is to stay in the moment, and so that you have the best date ever, here are a few techniques to help ease some of the dating anxiety you might be experiencing.
1. Be Flexible
While it’s important to have a date planned out from start to finish, it’s also essential to be flexible. If you’re too rigid in your thinking and your activities, you leave little room to really get to know the person you’re out on a date with. Instead, be open to change, be in the moment and just have a good time. If your focus is on getting to know the person you’re dating and their attention is on you, what more can there be. Sure, you wanted to see that movie or perhaps try the food at that great new restaurant. However, think of it this way, if you enjoy each others time and really focusing on getting to know one another, you won’t only have the best date ever, but you might also wind up dating for life.
2. Be Yourself
Dating can be tough because you could be worried about whether he or she likes you or whether he or she will call you again. I think the thing most people worry about most is being rejected after the date is over. And, that’s okay. Not every perfect date will turn into a perfect marriage. That’s why it’s important to be yourself when dating. If you pretend to be someone you’re not you not only feel rejected if he or she never calls you again, but you will also have to wonder whether they were given the chance to get to know the real you.
Listen, I get it, you might not be comfortable being totally YOU on a first or second date with someone you barely know. I mean heaven forbid you show the real you and he or she never calls you again. Right? Wrong!
People can pick up on inauthenticity. They can smell it a mile away. Therefore, there is no point in faking your way through the date. If he or she likes you, great! If they do not like you, well BYE Felicia! If you fake it through the first few date you will have a miserable time and he or she won’t get to know the real you. Instead, enjoy the journey, be yourself and show him or her that you know how to have a good time. The best thing that can come out of dating is that you meet someone that really enjoys spending time with someone like you. But first, they must see the real YOU to enjoy who you really are.
3. Be A Great Listener
Communication is one of the 6 C’s to a healthy relationship. However, communication is not just about getting your point across, it’s also about being able to listen to what other people have to say.
In order to have the best date ever you’ve got to be willing to learn all about you can learn about the person you are dating. That means asking lots of questions, listening with an open mind and responding with an open heart.
When most of us are asked what makes someone a great communicator we think of one’s ability to speak or write legibly. When in fact, the key to great communication rests with active listening. That means listening without interruption and saving your questions until the person has said what they needed to say. When we actively listen to what others have to say, we not only learn more about who they are, but we allow that person to come our way. It’s a proven fact that when people feel heard, they feel closer to you. So, when you’re out on your next date, sit down, listen and respond. You will have a better time in doing so, and the person you are on a date with will thank you in more ways than one.
4. Look Your Very Best
Regardless of what people say, the way you look plays a huge role in whether you get a first or second date. If the person is mentally attracted to you, but not physically attracted to you, you will run into problems. And, this goes both ways. No one wants to be out on a date with someone that looks like they just rolled out of bed, even if they just did. Put your best self forward and expect the same from the person you are dating. This doesn’t mean that you need to be the best-looking person in the world; it’s not about how good looking you are or the cost of your clothes. It’s more about how put together you are with what you are working with. Besides, when you go out and you look good you feel good, and when you feel good, you make for better company. So, the next time you head out on a date look your very best so that you can be sure that you have the best date ever.
Previously published on GoDates.