The glamour couple were married less than two years and now the poster children for numerous causes are citing “irreconcilable difference” and getting a divorce. Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie have begun the sad and painful task of uncoupling. And unfortunately for them, they are doing it in the glaring spotlight of the Hollywood media circus.
What do we really know about, or care about, Brad and Angelina?
- They have both been voted the most beautiful people in the world.
- They adopted a gaggle (six) of kids from all over the world.
- She’s a cancer survivor.
- She filed.
- He said he was saddened by the news.
That’s it folks. Everything else we “know” is media hype. And the pundits are going for the jugular.
- He’s a cheater.
- He’s an alcoholic.
- She’s a control freak.
- She’s a gold digger.
Actually, we have no idea if any of this is true, but we’re sure jumping on the bandwagon, picking sides (probably based on our gender), and watching for more “news.” More sad news about a couple coming apart and the kids that are along for the ride.
While this seems typical for celebrity divorce, unfortunately for those of us that have to live in the real world, this is also the kind of thing we suffer when we, as normal people, parents, begin the hurtful process of divorce. Very few people can do it as cleanly as say, Chris Martin (Coldplay) and Gweneth Paltrow. We all get into power plays to get what we want.
What does Angelina want? Has she really filed for full-custody?
The fact is, someone has to file. And the act of filing is probably not a surprise to Brad, though in the media he is expected to offer his response. “I’m saddened by the events.”
And does the fact that Angelina hired a bad ass divorce attorney mean she’s a gold digger or a bad person? Does her wanting the kids full time mean she’s a gold digger or a bad person? Does it mean Brad is a cheater and a drunk?
Again, it’s hard to look at a celebrity divorce and not compare our lives to theirs. We’re not as beautiful. We’re not as rich and famous. We’re just plain old parents trying to get what’s best for our families, even as we are fracturing into two families.
Let’s wait and see with Brangelina. My suspsicion is that they don’t really want money from the other person. I do believe, as a mother, Angelina is asking for full-time custody. She doesn’t want to give them up even for a weekend. I think my ex would’ve asked for the same thing if she could’ve thought up a cause. Divorce is sad. Aloneness is sad. And losing any time with your kids is a heartbreaking event. We all go through it, but most of us divorced folks didn’t have to do it under the glaring lights and cameras of hollywood.
Mr. Smith has left the building.
Back to: Positive Divorce on The Whole Parent
- The Transformation of Parenting in Marriage and Divorce
- Positive Divorce: From Blame To Forgiveness
- Love Is a Choice Not a Feeling: Reflecting On My Divorce
- Durable Love: Forgiving Your Ex and Refinding Love