Get creative, because it’s going to take a lot more time to get close enough to look directly into her eyes from a safe distance. Good luck out there, and stay safe.
If I believe in a higher plan, if I want to navigate with star maps and not treasure maps, then I can be IN LOVE and AT PEACE even in this painful pause. The pain has a lesson for me. I may learn something new every morning and every evening. I am learning.
As a couple moves towards kid introductions and connecting their families together, there’s going to be a lot of alignment that needs to happen. For me, this process is all about creating and cherishing the WE of the relationship.
Give yourself permission, every day, to realign a bit of your energy and action towards what’s most important in your life. This is where you will find happiness along the way, as you refind your purpose in life, and find the joy of heading in the right direction.
It’s hard to ask for what we need if we don’t have the time to ask and answer the question for ourselves. Even when we do know what we need, often it is overwhelming to ask for what we need.
There are plenty of times when it’s difficult not being with my kids. But what I can give them is 110% dad when they are with me. I have the rest of the time, when they are not with me, to heal and focus on myself and my goals.
We all come into relationships with our issues.
My inner dialogue and my personal biographical story continue to be written even when I cannot share this night. My hope is that the gossamer connections between us will still carry enough energy and information to keep our souls interested in reconnecting and rejoining and that we both find the desire and time to make it happen.
Keeping sexual communication open throughout your relationship is critical. As one partner starts closing off, and not just having periods of low sexual desire, but shutting down the idea of sex, something is going to break down.
What am I willing to give up to be WITH someone. What would “tonight” look like if there were another person waiting in the wings to spend time with me.
I can forgive and still love each of these women in their various states of disrepair. I can walk away knowing I brought my best game into their lives. I can walk away with my heart still on my sleeve, because that’s how I go through life. And I can refind my hopefulness.
Once you have decided to move on, you must understand that your former partner owes you nothing. Closure is a myth we like to “go for” in our breakups, but closure is up to us as individuals.
There is no bridge that’s going to make our relationship work again, so my longing necessarily stayed in my own heart. There is no sense in sharing our desires and hopes when the other person is not available. It only makes it hurt worse.
Each one of us wants to feel loved. We seek a partner. We navigate dating introductions to hopefully find someone to share our lives with. We commit to a relationship and try to make it work. We fail. And we find the courage and energy to start over.
The parents in Marriage Story tried. And when the mom is unable to read the things she loves about her husband, we see her hot flash of realization as she leaves the mediation without engaging in the process.
You must give your partner the assurance that you are not running away. And you must also allow them to hold their own pain. By “staying in your own lane” you are giving them several strong messages.