Around the world, hundreds of thousands of people divorce each year. Some of these divorcees are able to heal and move forward with their lives. And some of these people become bitter and remain miserable for years and years if not the rest of their lives.
If you’re in the process of getting over your divorce, you’re probably wondering what’s the difference between these two groups of people because you want to do everything in your power to make sure you’re not part of the latter group.
The difference between these two groups comes down to whether or not they’re able to follow these 8 key pieces of advice for healing after divorce:
- Be Gentle With Yourself. Getting divorced is one of the most difficult experiences anyone can have. It’s exhausting emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually. So resist the temptation to put too much pressure on yourself to get things done despite the seemingly never-ending list of things you’ve got to get done. The truth is that if you don’t have the energy or mental capacity to accomplish your tasks, you’ll only be making a bigger mess of things. So take the time you need to recharge and take care of you.
- Practice Shifting Your Focus To What’s Good. Sifting through the chaos of divorce is a less than pleasant experience. But that doesn’t mean that everything about your life is bad. By regularly focusing on what’s good and pulling yourself out of focusing on all the negative, you’ll find that you’ll have more energy to go back and deal with the chaos.
- Develop The Right “Healing After Divorce” Plan For You. What it takes for you to get through your divorce will differ from what it takes or took for anyone else. That’s because you’re unique and your marriage was unique. So spend some time figuring out what you need to do and what support you need right now to get through your grief and rebuild your life. Then go out and get the support you both need and deserve.
- Set Goals. As part of your “healing after divorce” plan, you started figuring out what you need to do. These are your goals so be specific about what you’re shooting for to at least begin creating the life you want and deserve.
- Set Aside Time Every Day To Work Your Plan. The funny thing about life is that it’s so easy to get caught up in reacting to whatever shows up. The problem with that is you’ll never move forward to create the life you want if you don’t dedicate time every day to work on and refine your plan.
- Work On Your Plan To Achieve Your Goals. This is probably pretty obvious, but now that you’ve got the time set aside, you need to use it for what you said you wanted to use it for.
- Keep A Journal. Keeping a journal while you’re healing after divorce and achieving your goals serves three purposes. First, it allows you to remember important information and each day’s events. Second, journaling is an amazing way to process emotions (a.k.a. make yourself feel better). And, finally, it is a great way to develop ideas and refine your plan.
- The thing about healing after divorce is that it’s not a straight path. There will be twists and turns you can’t anticipate. So allow yourself time every day to think about what’s happening and what you’re doing. Use your insights to refine your plan and celebrate every single win (no matter how small) that you have along the way.
You might consider this advice high-level and in a lot of ways it is. But it’s also incredibly detailed in that it gives you the exact formula you need to follow to get over your divorce and get on with your life.
Challenge yourself to really dig into each of these 8 pieces of advice and you’ll discover just how powerful they are for helping you heal after divorce. And you’ll significantly increase the chances of you healing and moving forward instead of becoming bitter.
Originally published on Dr.KarenFinn.com
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