A divorce can be a difficult situation for every couple. Regardless if you’ve been married a few years, or a few decades, dealing with the mental and physical situations that arise from a divorce is never going to be easy.
I recently spoke with a male friend about the many issues he had during his divorce and I was shocked to hear how difference his experience was. It is very rare that any two divorces will be the same, but there are definitely a few issues we realized that could impact men differently than women in a divorce.
Do Not Move Out Right Away
It might seem like the best idea to move out when you are going through a divorce, but think about it rationally before you make that decision. In most situations, you will still be financially responsible for the expenses associated with the home you shared with your spouse. This will result in you having to pay for both locations. In addition to this you will be at a disadvantage when it comes to splitting up assets such as the home and any belongings you left behind. If you have children in the home you will have to comply with your spouse’s decision when it comes to visitations until they are mandated by court.
Of course, if you and your ex are on good terms moving out might make the most sense. If you can agree to an uncontested divorce that is your best decision in almost every case. It is much better to be in control of your future outcome instead of leaving it to the courts to decide. Be aware that the longer the divorce process carries on, the more likely that a cooperative relationship could change.
Be Cautious with Social Media and New Relationships
As I mentioned, you might see that as time goes on many relationships can change during a divorce. You and your ex might be on good terms at the beginning, but feelings could quickly change.
One of the easiest ways to upset your spouse is by being too open about your new life. It is completely acceptable to move on once the divorce is in progress, but be careful how much you are sharing publicly about it. If you are seen out drinking on social media your spouse might have the perfect evidence needed to win the child custody case. You might also be at a disadvantage if they can prove that you’re spending a lot money on gifts and trips in a new relationship that you’re flaunting on your social media accounts.
Do Not Attempt to Lie in Court
When a judge is attempting to calculate child custody payments they are going to heavily scrutinize the financial affidavits you submit. You will not want to lie on these documents. If your spouse can prove additional income or assets it is possible to lose many of your rights in the divorce proceedings. It is not worth lying, especially when so much of our lives are heavily documented digitally. It will only come back to haunt you later.
Do Not Believe Lawyers That Tell You Courts Always Favor Women
This is simply not true. The courts are here to ensure a fair decision. When children are involved they will take additional effort to make sure that they are given the best opportunity for quality of life. Do not believe that the mother will always be awarded child custody. If you interested in full custody take the steps necessary to ensure that the children will have a quality living environment, a consistent schedule, access to good schools, and work with your attorney and spouse to come up with a fair agreement. Do not give up just because you do not believe you will win.
If Children Are Involved Remember to Keep Them as Your First Priority
Children are usually the biggest victims when it comes to a divorce. Even in the best circumstances they will still have changes they must learn to accept. Their belongings and time might be split between two locations and families now. They might not know which house to consider, “home.” Regardless of what is going on with you and your spouse you will want to make every effort to keep them oblivious to disagreements, and any fighting in court that might occur.
A divorce will change your entire life, but it doesn’t always have to destroy it. With the right planning and a level head during the divorce process, you can hopefully settle into a new life as peacefully as possible.
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