There are many reasons you may find yourself stuck and unable to move forward with your decision to divorce. Fear often keeps us stuck where we don’t need to be. Change, especially a major change like divorce will force you to leave your comfort zone and what has become familiar to you behind.
It is normal for you to avoid change and heading into unfamiliar territory, especially if you aren’t sure where that new territory leads or what awaits you there. In fact, it isn’t unusual for people to stay in bad marriages out of this fear of the unknown and a fear of leaving the familiar behind.
Below are typical emotions you may be having now with your decision to divorce.
- Concern over hurting your spouse
- Concern over hurting your children
Regardless of what you are feeling, it’s important you understand that, not only are your feelings normal, they are temporary. When you take your first steps toward divorce, you will work through these emotions and begin the healing process.
I recently read this quote, “Your worst enemy cannot harm you as much as your own thoughts unguarded.” The key to getting unstuck and moving forward with your divorce is to guard your thoughts. To, replace negative thoughts with positive thoughts.
Your fear is normal but in reality, our fears rarely turn out to be the truth. I’m going to suggest three steps you can take to get unstuck and start moving forward with your decision to divorce and toward the life you want to live, outside your marriage.
Make a list of the negative thoughts that are holding you back:
Identify your 3 tops fears related to moving forward with your decision to divorce. Allow yourself to feel the fear and then, make a list of the things you need to do to keep those fears from becoming a reality. The only way to fight fear is with solutions. If a fear is holding you back, find a way to make sure that what you fear won’t come to fruition.
Make a list of the reasons a divorce is right for you:
We each have our own strengths, talents, and skills. When thinking about why you want a divorce remember this, you are inherently built to choose what is best for you in life. If you focus on your strengths instead of your fears, you will have more motivation and an earnest belief in yourself to deal with whatever your divorce throws your way.
Instead of using fear to hold you back, use your strengths to propel you forward into creating the life you long for outside your marriage. Embrace your potential, not your fears. Think about the good that awaits you!
Get support and move forward now!
Your number one resource of strength throughout divorce will be a network of supportive friends and family. Surrounding yourself with those willing to be there for you when you are feeling vulnerable means being surrounded by love during a period of adversity.
Being willing to be vulnerable and reach out to your support network will teach you a valuable lesson you will use post-divorce. The sooner you learn to lean on others in times of need the easier it is to attain goals you set for yourself. You will find yourself needing the support of others often after you are divorced, get started with being OK with that now.
Once you’ve got a support system in place, have identified your fears and how to combat those it’s time to pull the trigger and end your marriage. The life that awaits you, the opportunity to grow and become more fulfilled won’t happen until you make that first step in the legal process of divorce.
If you take the time to go through these three steps, with an honest attempt to become unstuck, you’ll find yourself moving forward with your divorce. Putting forth that effort moves you one step closer to being free of the unhappiness you are experiencing in your marriage and, one step closer to becoming a force that is unstoppable.
Here is what I know to be true, we all have the power to move forward regardless of the obstacles. We have the power to live our best life, the power to follow through and make significant changes in life in spite of our fears. It’s up to you to make the choice to make the changes you desire.
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