Anger not working? Try optimism

Why do people feel worse, when life is actually getting better?

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By Julia Dye, Ph.D.

Why do people feel worse, when life is actually getting better? I study history and have lived and worked in many countries—Denmark, Australia, China, Morocco, Thailand, and others—and yet, or perhaps because of that, there’s no other time or place I’d rather live than right here, right now. And yet all around me are unhappy, angry people who think the world’s falling into the abyss. That’s no mindset for a life of peace, as a person, or as a nation.

Righteous indignation is a delightful feeling. I love it when I can be legitimately pissed at something that is unjust. That desire doesn’t go away when things are mostly OK—we just lower the bar at what ticks us off.

The growing list of “Things that everyone should have“

When I think about the things that we’re saying everyone should have, if the world is a good and just place, it’s pretty astonishing: safety, freedom, housing, water, food, health care, electricity, phone connectivity, and privacy. And new things, too. Gotta have internet access. Man, when I’m without that it’s worse than no television. You have your own things to add to this list.

So everyone needs to have these things, although none of them exist in total anywhere, really. You honestly can’t have perfect safety, perfect freedom, and perfect privacy. How can something be a human right when it is new, didn’t exist before, and exists now only in limited quantities?

The White House didn’t have flush toilets in 1849. Today, your cellphone has more computing power than the Apollo space capsule did.

People are living longer and better than any other time in human history. The World Health Organization says that by 2025, 26 countries will have a life expectancy at birth of above 80 years. From the 1500s to around the year 1800, life expectancy throughout Europe hovered between the ages of 30 and 40.

According to The Economist, between 1990 and 2010, the number of people throughout the world living in extreme poverty fell by half as a share of the total population, from 43% to 21%—a reduction of almost 1 billion people.

The richest may have more money, but the lifestyle they can buy—travel, home ownership, air conditioning, and more—are no longer restricted to a tiny minority of people.

But still, we get angry. And angry in a cynical way that’s anathema to peace. We create a required standard completely in our minds, one that never existed anywhere on earth, and then get pissed off at the world because it’s not there yet.

We imagine how great some imaginary world would be if the rich people would give up stuff so that the poor could have more. Well, guess what? That’s happening and has already happened—it’s just that you’re one of the rich people. Yes, America and Europe are in an economic slump. In China, disposable income went up a thousand percent in 30 years. India, too, has had huge leaps. Wait, you didn’t mean those people? Which people did you mean?

See, when the rest of the world gets to join in our reindeer games, they’re not going to be providing us cheap labor any more. They’re going to buy stuff, which increases demand, which increases prices. If you have a home with a computer, a refrigerator, and air conditioning, then you’re in the top, upper crust of the world’s living standards.

So you don’t like rich people and they should give their stuff away so that the rest of us can have what they have. And you watch PBS. Who’s paying for that? Yep: donations from rich people.

Getting angry may be fun, but getting optimistic is when things change.

See, the best thing we can do isn’t being angry, although I admit it’s great fun. The best thing we can do is to be optimistic. Ronald Reagan was an optimist. Martin Luther King, Jr. was an optimist. Yes, they could and did take righteous anger against what they were pissed about. But they could only do that because they were optimistic about what might be, not stuck being mad about what is. Just being aggravated makes you sit at home and check your Facebook page every 15 minutes. Then you get angry and post something outrageous, and feel like you’ve done something. Well, you haven’t. You are not adding to peace. You are creating conflict from a place of extreme safety.

Which do you think did more to change the world? The person who created #humblebrag or Harriet Tubman? Which believed more in a better, more optimistic world? And took action to help make that happen?

The desire for inaction causes cynicism. It’s a great excuse to do nothing of substance, and nothing to further peace, in our world or in ourselves.

When working towards peace, optimism means that a failure does not mean the world is against us. It means the circumstances didn’t work out that time, and we can learn from it and try again. Optimism means a greater engagement with life. Optimists believe the goal can be reached, even with setbacks. Cynics say, “See? Can’t be done,” and give up.

I am a pragmatist first, but I think I’m an optimist, too. And I think optimism is what will lead to peace, both internal and external. What should you do? I think you know already. The world will reward what it has always has: intelligence, hard work, discipline, bravery, loyalty, love, and a generous spirit. You don’t need me telling you what life you should live. Be optimistic about yourself and make a great life. And then go out and change the world.

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Julia Dye, PhD, is the author of Backbone: History, Traditions, and Leadership Lessons of Marine Corps NCOs. When not writing, she keeps the entertainment industry honest through technical advising and performer training, helping Hollywood directors capture the realities of warfare in all aspects of the media. As a partner in the consulting firm Warriors, Inc., she was weapons master and provided training to Colin Farrell for his title role in the film Alexander. With the military advisory team, she oversaw historical accuracy for the HBO series The Pacific, and more. Dye earned her doctorate in hoplology (the anthropology of human conflict) from the Union Institute & University.

Photos by Sam Valadi and Julia Dye.

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