Love, love will keep us together
Think of me babe whenever
Some sweet talkin´ girl comes along, singin´ a song
Don´t mess around, you just gotta be strong
—Captain and Tennille
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Bond is a complex word, embracing different orders of connection.
We can bond by choice.
Or be bound by force.
Our bond can be blood.
Or a sense of obligation.
These bonds are strong but not the strongest.
The strongest bond is love.
The strongest bond is both voluntary and involuntary and occurs when we choose to accept a call, to bond with another whose energy we are drawn to and to whom we feel we are fully aligned.
This bond is of the highest order because our connection flows from spirit, and we are bound through the drop of holiness, the love of God that lives in each of us.
Attachments driven by need and maintained through fear are not bonds.
True bonds do not restrain us but circumscribe the space in which we act and move, which must remain a loving space.
True bonds free us through the grounding of love, the foundation of support, and the confidence of connectedness that give us the strength to be ourselves, through the joy of having a home where we are wholeheartedly accepted in an often harsh and unaccepting world.
The word bond is a variation of band, in the sense of “that by which someone or something is bound,” meaning the bond is the essence of the connection itself. But bond was “also influenced by Old English bonda ‘householder,’ literally ‘dweller.'”
A bond then, is like a house, a shared home in which two spirits dwell.
A bond is more than connection that binds us.
A bond is a space of connection we inhabit.
A sacred space two people honor.
A consistently respectful way of relating.
The feeling of home we create through loving interaction.
The quality of light that flows from loving companionship.
The fresh scent of the air flowing in through the open window.
The warm glow of the hearth fire.
The smell of the shared meal cooking.
The sweet taste of a shared chalice.
The security of closing our eyes, knowing where our bond-mate is, knowing we can lean back without fear . . . and fall into those waiting arms.
True bonds withstand the challenges of life, the changes brought by time, the bleakest moments, and the most exquisite temptations, because two partners so bonded always enter the bond space with respect.
Always.
Two partners so bonded always take off their shoes—and their gloves—off before entering the door.
Acid can eat through the strongest metal, and contempt, scorn, abuse, and disrespect are the acids that eat through bonds and sever them.
This is why bonds must be protected.
So think of your bond space as the home in which you dwell, and let that determine how you treat it.
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Originally published on Tom Aplomb and is republished on Medium.
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Photo credit: iStock
The words “love” and “bond” are difficult and hard not to misunderstand. They have to be put in context to make sense, and be useful. The context is this: As humans, we have two seats of consciousness. The Buddha called them, respectively, our Buddha-self, and our Ego-self. The last thing the Buddha discovered before he became the Buddha was his own ego-self consciousness as a separate psychic entity in our mindstream. He called it “the builder of this house of suffering”. You don’t need to be a Buddhist to get this idea of two seats of consciousness in our mindstream.… Read more »