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No one likes the thought of failure and will avoid it all costs to the point it hurts us in the long run. Constantly coming down to blaming someone else, along with other variables there is very little responsibility taken on ourselves for why something didn’t work out. Yet the answer is simple enough to know failure doesn’t occur unless you give it permission. Here are a few ways you may have welcomed it with open arms.
1 – Ignoring Emotional Intelligence
For decades emotional intelligence (EQ) has been taken likely and I’m glad to see it finally come to surface and making real change in people’s lives. It’s the reason why public figures like Dr. Travis Bradberry are showcasing the impact and how EQ may be more important than your IQ.
Personally, challenges are healthy ways to keep you on your toes. Without them learning would not exist, nor would personal growth. Everyone would live a stagnated life where they are unable to handle anything they did not prepare for.
Learn to communicate effectively, adapt appropriately, and manage diligently. These three things along with dozens of characteristics will put you far ahead of those afraid and haunted by what they don’t know.
2 – Lack of Persistence
We all know what it’s like to start something you can’t (or refuse) to finish. For example, think about your New Year’s resolution to get back in shape. Buying that membership was the first step. Then you made a regiment and promise to the Gods this is the year to make a difference.
All of a sudden, things don’t pan out like you hoped and everything falls apart.
For most people, this is a sign to stop or settle for what wasn’t meant to be. The contrary is true. The majority who make this attempt will be successful if they continue for just a bit longer.
It’s the very reason we see people like Michael Jordan, Oprah Winfrey, Mark Zuckerberg and Elon Musk achieve a phenomenal amount of success. It’s because when the moment tested them, they persisted.
Unfortunately, what holds people back is the quick fix. They see glamor and all the rewards of such admirable people, without realizing what went into it or all the pitfalls they had to overcome.
Trust that nothing worth it in life comes easy, and nothing easy will be worth it.
3 – Doubting Yourself
Lots of people tend to doubt themselves because of a previous experience or lack of confidence. It’s a killer of dreams and will leave you emotionally paralyzed for what could have been.
What’s more, doubting yourself sends a message to the universe that you are not a worth the risk and time would be better spent on someone else. This is literally telling the world you are not worth it.
There’s no evidence something will not work out. No one is holding you back from pursuing what you truly desire. All that’s from making that first step is a voice in your head focused so much on the outcome and what others think.
The key here is to reframe your thinking. When doubt presents itself, turn the table and dial into positive thoughts.
By making a conscious effort to identify when you question yourself and correct it, fewer moments of insecurity will clutter your mind and greater confidence will be built.
In time you will notice the positive changes and so will those around you. It’s reciprocal in that the more you take pride in yourself, the better your influence and effectiveness will be on everyone you encounter.
4 – Outside Influences
There’s a saying that who we are is a reflection of our five closest friends.
Crazy as it sounds, I took a step back to test this theory and it all makes sense. While not major, there are subtle characteristics we pull from the people closest to us. It’s why we get along so well because they have something which either aligns with our beliefs or can influence them.
Identifying negative influence isn’t always easy until you reach a crossroads in your life and decide it’s time for a change.
Think about where you see yourself in the next five, ten or twenty years. Are your friends contributing to what you want to achieve or merely existing and holding you back?
If you find yourself answering yes to the latter, it’s probably best to realign your favorite five and seek those who challenge you to be better every day.
5 – Quitting
If there’s one thing worse than doubt, it’s quitting. Quitting because you were emotionally unequipped, fell off track, or influenced by the wrong people is a surefire way to shut the door on your goals.
We should always search for problems because as bad as it sounds, they do us well. Problems provide the catalyst we need to get going and keep going. Unlike complacency, problems will help develop new skills and opportunities you never thought were possible.
So rather than fret the road ahead of you, take a look back and see how far you have. Be resilient and understand failure is not coincidence, it’s a choice.
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Photo: Getty Images
Aren’t lack of persistence and quitting the same thing?
Great question, but not necessarily. Lack of persistence is not following through. Someone who starts a task and doesn’t create a rhythm out of it is a good example. Say they start, stop, and start again without any flow to what they are doing.
Quitting is practically succumbing to defeat because you decided it’s over.