Taking Good Advice: Attract, Don’t Pursue

Back in 2011, I was a newly published author. My book, The Bliss Mistress Guide To Transforming The Ordinary Into The Extraordinary,  was birthed after years of creating the chapters that reflected the path I had traversed. Joy and sorrow. Love and loss. Some of it included the hospice journey I took with my mom who died, coming up on 10 years this November 26th. To this day, I am remembering it as if it was yesterday. I know that she and my father are ‘kvelling’ (Yiddish for beaming with pride) from the Other Side about the way the family has grown in the years since they transistioned. They would adore their daughter-in-law, great grandson and the one on the way, due in May.

Nine years ago, on November 12, 2012, I sat in an a room listening with rapt attention to motivational speaker Lisa Nichols offering wisdom and inspiration. I carried with me, a copy of my book, to give to her since I admired her work and was learning to be shamelessly self promoting. Truth be told, it felt good to be recognized as a peer and not just a fan.  Since I was on the promo team, I also had the opportunity to be in a pre-presentation VIP event. There, with something like 15 others, I was invited to ask her a question that she would do her best to answer.

Back then, I was eager for my book to be in the hands of the Lady O, to write for her publication and sit on the stage as a guest. It was the way, or so I thought at the time, to be successful. I refer to those whose books she promotes as ‘Oprah’s Darlings’. So, of course, my query was along the lines of having put in the time and work and earned my chops and wondered why The Divine Ms. O hasn’t called.

She looked me square in the eye and said “Do you really want to know the answer?” I nodded and she said that I needed to keep serving and not worry about Oprah calling me. “Attract, don’t pursue,” she reinforced.

It was not the answer I wanted to hear, impatient being that I was back then. I had hoped she would say, “I’ll hook you up.” Her wise words have been guideposts as I continue to learn, reach out, network, serve, write and speak. As a result, I am attracting opportunities with more grace and ease than if I kept efforting and pushing. My work is getting more notice and I’m currently creating a TEDtalk that is shaped by what they call a ‘big idea’, that I have been cultivating since grad school in the mid 80s. Who knew that a thesis on touch could lead to what I am crafting all these years later?

Patience is not my strong suit and the idea of waiting for the Universe (one of the many names I have for God) to catch up with dreams and desires was unthinkable back then. I wanted to be seen as one of the cool kids, sitting at the cool kids’ table in the cafeteria. Sometimes I found myself symbolically sitting alone, eyeing the others chatting in animated fashion. Over the years, I have interviewed many of the movers and shakers in the transformational fields, wondering what catapulted them into the stratosphere. There was a time when they weren’t household names….until they were.

Along came the pandemic and the external work I had been doing; teaching and facilitating workshops screeched to a halt and I bemoaned that it could be a long time before I could be back out in the world. I told myself that visibility and in person contact was necessary not to become a has been before I could become a might have been. Good thing that technology was available for me to offer therapy and workshops, and be a guest on podcasts. Good thing that writing continued unabated. With surrender to current reality, I noticed that more opportunities arose since I left the door open to welcome them, rather than lassoing them and hauling them in. In addition to more paid writing gigs, I was also hired to do PR for filmmakers and a singer-songwriter, recording artist. Desperation is not an attractive quality. In the past 20 months, I have become more contemplative, more internal and have spent more time with myself than with others. An uncharacteristic habit. This social butterfly folded her wings temporarily and has gradually (since triple vaxxed and still masked in buildings) opened them. As I do, I feel a sense of serenity, rather than urgency. Less stress. More blessed.

When I had posted this picture of Lisa and me at the event, her response warmed my heart.

“Edie Weinstein– my beautiful SHERO!! I am so grateful for your openness, willingness to serve and openness to just be poured into! I appreciate you and love this picture!! You’re on fire!!!”

I tell you this story, not so much to brag…well, maybe a little bit, but to remind you that YOU have the power within to manifest your own dreams and desires. What would make you a magnet to what you have been wanting to attract?

• Setting intentions and putting legs under them
• Seeking guidance from others who have walked the journey before you
• Listing your successes thus far
• Allow people to cheer you on, welcoming the yaysayers and ignoring the naysayers
• If you have a spiritual practice, ask for celestial support
• Listen to podcasts, read articles, watch TEDtalks and You tube videos on the topics that align with your design
• Be your own cheerleader/coach
• Surrender the outcome and then be amazed at what unfolds

As my mother would tell you, “You’ve got what it takes, Babycakes!”

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