How do boys learn the difference between being “tamed”, being a good man, between doing evil, and getting what they want?
From a young age, boys learn to combat the forces of good or evil. They pretend to be super heroes fighting villains, cops arresting robbers or Indians shooting cowboys. They become soldiers when playing with dispensable, plastic GI-Joes. Some even grow up to become men who fight bad guys in video games such as Call of Duty. Others fight bad guys in real wars.
However, they can’t all be good guys, thus boys learn early on to choose sides.
But who are the bad guys exactly? And what do good guys look like? Good cops and bad cops wear the same uniform. Allies and enemies both carry weapons. When the line between good and evil is blurred, how can boys tell the difference? What happens when a boy desires to combat evil but realizes he may have evil desires? What follows after he realizes he isn’t a hero full of goodness? Well, if not a hero, then he’s a villain. He is only given two choices after all.
The music video for Skrillex’s “Bangarant” emphasizes the societal misconceptions regarding male goodness. The false belief that men are animals in need of taming is not a new concept. The video refers to this with the pack of dogs surrounding the boy and with the alligator tattoo on the ice cream truck driver’s hand. The tattoo, along with the vicious manner in which he devours the cones, is indicative of his predatory nature. Dogs can be man’s best friend or a vicious attacker. Boys learn to join the pack. They learn to choose between being predators or prey. My main concern is boys will become men who struggle with knowing what direction to take.
How do boys know when to be a predator? Are bad deeds justifiable when done to bad people? Are boys taught to get what they desire by any means even if it results in harming others? Can male cravings be controlled? Does stealing from criminals in order to compensate for a past sin make a wrong right? Is evil contagious or did their deeds awaken pre-existing evil? Could the desire to combat evil really be the desire to combat one’s own evil urges?
At the end, we see the driver’s tattooed hand was removed; resulting in taming, domesticating and pacifying him like a wild animal. It is generally believed that men are intrinsically evil and must strive after goodness. This is achieved either by the love and domestication of a woman or by being broken and beat. They are incapable of overcoming their primitive nature on their own.
In my opinion, these false beliefs serve as excuses for societal accepted male behavior. If we buy into this, we ignore the few good men as we call them, who do good without force, be it gentle or violent.
Even when a man’s goodness is acknowledged, it is often credited to something outside of himself. For example, divine intervention, superhuman powers or how his mother raised him. Superman, for example, wasn’t even from this planet. Although Eve supposedly committed the first sin, we inherit the sins of our fathers not of our mothers. A man couldn’t have donated sperm to co-create Jesus Christ. It is more plausible that He, due to His goodness, was the son of God. He couldn’t have been the son of man because man’s true nature is evil. However, it is acceptable that Jesus was born from a woman, because women are mainly seen as intrinsically good.
Men shouldn’t be seen as intrinsically evil and women as intrinsically good. Because if goodness is seen as a woman’s trait, then a man can’t be good. This is highly problematic in a society where anything as minute as sucking from a straw is emasculating. Anything the slightest bit feminine can cause a man’s penis to be replaced by a vagina. Thus goodness, if seen as a woman’s trait, will be avoided at all cost.
At first, the boys seem to be having innocent fun through things like converting ordinary toys such as slingshots into weapons with no intention of real harm. I truly believe boys and men have the best intentions at heart. We should teach and encourage them to act upon those good intentions. Good men are not tamed, weak or passive. Good men are strong.
Instead of showing boys to combat evil with evil, let’s teach them to combat their own shadow. If we don’t mend the split between good and evil, our shadows will overpower us.
Evil isn’t always caused by the Other. Good and evil aren’t external. The line between good and evil seems blurry, because there is no line; both co-exist within. All humans, regardless of gender, have the capacity for good and evil. Our hands can heal just as they can harm. We simply choose how to use them.
Photo credit: Flickr / puuikibeach
Soullite, Talking about evil makes me nervous too. I almost wanted to say bad but of course evil arouses more attention. It makes me nervous because it is hard to know what is evil and what isn’t, especially since each individual will evaluate evil based on their own perceptions and beliefs as you pointed out. I can only speak on what I consider to be evil. My main intention was to provoke thought on the process of dechiphering between good and evil. I hoped to show the complicatedness of the matter and how we really don’t know the answers to… Read more »
Talking about good and evil always makes me nervous, and it always puts the speaker on shaky ground. I have no doubt that good and evil exist, but I haven’t ever met a man or woman capable of sorting out ‘good and evil’ from ‘the stuff I like and the stuff I hate’. We all seem to think we have the universal truth on the matter, and wouldn’t you know it, that truth always seems to line up with our own personal beliefs and prejudices. ‘Good and bad’ or ‘helpful and harmful’, sure. But Good and Evil? It’s a short… Read more »
Rapses, We have been taught to see evil as something caused externally. For example, the devil made me do it. We have also view goodness the same way at times. For example, we are all born sinners and must strive to be good. This way of thinking is very dangerous. If we constantly blame evil on external factors, without recognizing our own capacities and potential for evil, then our shadow side will take over. We will constantly view the Other as dangerous, harmful, evil, etc, but never see our own potential for such actions. Many times we think we are… Read more »
@ Jeanette Ruiz
Can you please explain what you mean by the statement “If we don’t mend the split between good and evil, our shadows will overpower us.” It is really very confusing. Should we not differentiate between good and evil
Oh and we should differentiate between good and evil. This is what my entire article is about. It refers to the complications/confusion in the differentiation process. The most important thing is to differentiate between your own capacity for good and evil, rather than grouping people into the good guys and bad guys. We must realize that we can all be both the good guy and the bad guy.
“How do boys know when to be a predator?”
Interesting essay….Have you read “The Female Brain” by Dr. Louann Brizendine? She had said something interesting about the increased tendency in males to poke and touch females and the tendency toward increased instances of aggression (which is related to the higher proportion of male hormones)….
But you are right….it does come down to choice and what each individual chooses to say or do…but perhaps males have more to overcome to inhibit such behavior (meaning their natural biological impulses tend to be different from those of females)….
I don’t know. I consider flirting with males you don’t like to get something you want to be ‘evil’, and women don’t seem to have a very easy time of overcoming that.
There’s a lot more to predation that aggression. Trapping isn’t particularly aggressive, but it is certainly effective and you get eaten just the same.
Leia, No I haven’t read the Female Brain. It seems interesting though. I am sure males do have these tendencies but they are necessary in my opinion. The poking and touching may be how boys discover and explore the female body. The aggression, although not as necessary now, was definitely necessary when men were hunters and gatherers. I see nothing wrong with these behaviors in males; I just find the methods in which some males exhibit this behavior problematic. I think we need to provide healthier and more productive outlets for boys to release aggression. We also need to teach… Read more »
Ok – wow – sounds complicated does it not? But I don’t really think so. The nature of human existence is choice. Free will is what underlies our exit from innocence and also what separates us from the rest of the animal kingdom. Our choices lead us to whatever exit we take at the end of this mortal coil. What goes around, comes around and most of the time (but not always) our choices don’t manifest immediate consequences – that is they don’t get us killed or cast into a firey pit. What we do manifest is learning to do… Read more »