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There’s a plethora of educated, successful, hard-working family men who happen to be black, writes Jackie Summers. So why is it that no one sees them?
—
It is impossible for CK to enter a room inconspicuously.
At six feet four inches tall, he towers over most people. His expertly custom-tailored three-piece suit hides–but just barely–the kind of musculature that might make a panther jealous. If I didn’t know him personally, I might find him intimidating.
Fortunately for those who do know him, his imposing physical presence belies his gentle demeanor. At 33 years old, CK is happily married, with no children–yet. The warmth and intelligence behind his smile betray any hint of the menace the media has taught us to expect from a black man born and raised in the South Bronx, during the crack riddled 1980s.
You probably will never see CK in the stands at Fenway Park, despite him being a vociferous baseball fan. Partially, this is because if you’re born in the Bronx, you root for the Yankees; it’s mandatory. Attendance at day games is virtually impossible, as he’s an officer at a major financial institution. A dual-degree undergrad, night games are also unfeasible, at least until he completes his MBA in January of 2012.
Education has always been his pathway to success.
This is not to say that, at some point, like most boys, he didn’t think about playing professional sports. A naturally gifted athlete, his parents struggled to make sure there was always someone at home to help him finish his schoolwork–a prerequisite before going out to play. His mother worked days and his father worked nights to put and keep him in a private school, as the local high school–Stevenson, in the Soundview section of the Bronx–was infamous for (at the time) having one of the highest incidences of violence in the nation.
Sports was a reward, not an end-goal.
The same could be said for CK’s friends. Both publicly and privately schooled, his childhood cronies eschewed crack vials for bats and gloves and street corners for baseball diamonds. Associating with kids who–like himself–had parents who valued education over athletic achievement, helped him steer clear of people with nefarious intent.
With loving, hardworking parents, CK needed only to look across the dinner table for role models. He modeled his baseball game–but not his life–after Darryl Strawberry. One of the few people to play on championship teams for both the Mets and the Yankees, Strawberry’s prowess on the diamond could not be overlooked. His personal life, however, was unworthy of emulation. Darryl was plagued with drug and spousal abuse problems and their inherent legal issues, diminishing and shortening what might have otherwise been a Hall of Fame career. CK’s father made it clear to him: separate the person from the action. By all means, imitate his sports acumen, just not the lifestyle that came along with it.
If you ask CK, he doesn’t consider himself the exception to “the rule.” He knows a plethora of black men who–like himself–have never been incarcerated, are happily married and spiritually grounded. They’re not on drugs and don’t have scores of illegitimate children they don’t care for. They are successful family men: bankers, doctors, lawyers. He even has one friend who–after finishing his education–is expected to sign with the NFL. My question to CK then was: if you’re not an anomaly, if you know so many educated, successful, hard-working family men like yourself, why do I never see you represented in the media?”
CK shrugged his enormous shoulders. “Because” he sighed, “it doesn’t sell.”
♦◊♦
Let’s play a game. Name five black men with a net worth of over $100m. You’ve got ten seconds. Go.
Who’d you come up with? Jay-Z? P-Diddy? Shaquille O’Neal? Tiger Woods? Kanye West?
Now let’s play the same game, but with one minor qualification: Name five black men who aren’t professional athletes or entertainers, with a net worth of over $100m.
You’ve got ten seconds. Go.
Who’d you come up with this time? Alphonse Fletcher Jr.? Quinton Primo? Kenneth I. Chenault? R. Donahue Peebles? Ulysses Bridgeman, Jr.?
Congratulations if you recognize any of those names. Generally speaking they aren’t mentioned in “mainstream” media. If a rapper farts into the wind it makes the 11 o’clock news, but when’s the last time you heard an interview from the CEO of American Express?
You haven’t. Because it’s not sexy. He’s one of the wealthiest, most influential men in America. And yet, like CK, he’s invisible.
“People don’t pay to see a black man get their MBA” CK laments. “They pay to see someone put a ball through a hoop or over a fence, or to see a concert where someone preaches a licentious lifestyle. I don’t sell anything; my path doesn’t sell anything.”
Having spent the past two decades in advertising and publishing, respectively, I understand what he’s saying. Sex sells. Scandals sell. And if you’re trying to maintain race-based income disparity, it’s especially useful to sell the idea that black men are lazy, illiterate, and socially irresponsible. If your only exposure to people of another culture is how they’re portrayed in the media, it’s easy to believe that black men come in only two categories:
- hyper-aggressive physical phenomena, who are rewarded for their ability to entertain, be it as an athlete or performer, or
- hyper-aggressive, shiftless, thugs, with their pants sagging below their asses, who’ve decided that the former path is inaccessible, and so pursue criminal activity.
To be clear, the minstrel show that is professional sports should by no means be a gauge of the intelligence of anyone but the individual performer. The collegiate system makes hundreds of millions of dollars by selling tickets, merchandise, and viewing rights to their sporting events. At best, this is a modern day form of indentured servitude. The players–largely minorities–are entirely uncompensated, and aren’t truly required to educate themselves as to how to manage the money they might make, should they be among the 1% that actually turn professional–or how to provide for themselves should their careers end abruptly, as happens frequently.
Also, to be clear: the 1% of collegiate athletes who turn professional are not wealthy. As Chris Rock so aptly put, “Shaquille O’Neal is rich. The person who signs his paycheck, is wealthy.”
♦◊♦
None of this is to say, of course, that the fault is entirely the media’s. “You can’t claim you want to be judged on the content of your character” exclaims CK “and then feed into a stereotypes. You have to do your part to uplift.”
There’s accountability on the part of the individual. There’s responsible parenting. And there is the privilege of the media to choose to represent individuals that are actually worthy of imitation.
“My parents worked literally day and night to provide for my education” CK says. “I paid for my own school. I pledged Kappa Alpha Psi because their motto is: honorable achievement in every field of human endeavor. As an alumni, I give back to the community. I mentor youth and help them to see they have choices. I tell them it’s okay to admire athletes, but know that education is a far more viable road to success. I use myself as an example: I could have easily slipped into being a statistic, but I kept my nose clean; I didn’t give anyone a reason to arrest me. I tell the kids: edify yourself; if you’re going to choose a role model, pick an athlete that’s a Rhodes scholar.”
♦◊♦
Education is the best pathway to success, both for people trying to better themselves, and for the society that doesn’t acknowledge their existence.
—
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Jackie, you are a scholar and a gentleman; holding your cool in the face of The Dude’s challenge shows great character. (That’s a character I have difficulty maintaining). I do kinda want to know what goes through your head when you’re confronted with the statistics The Dude refers to (minus the name calling). Because, if there’s truth to them, then they need to be explained and addressed. I’m a liberal white guy interested in social justice: there’s no doubt to me that the measure of people’s humanity and ability has nothing to do with their race, and so I start… Read more »
It’s a foregone conclusion that people doing what they are supposed to do won’t get any press. The most powerful thing that we can do as fathers and husbands is to continue being the best role models we can for our children and their friends. Whether fathers are recognized as role models per say is really irrelevant. Our children – especially our sons take their cues from us. Continuing to do the right thing and working hard to instill that same ethic and motivation in our kids is (I think) the best method we have to affect change in the… Read more »
Actually Pichard, I didn’t respond to those comments because they didn’t address any of the points of the essay. Additionally, I’m not inclined to respond to anyone who begins a discussion with “you ignorant fool.” It screams of trolling, and is in direct violation of stated GMP commenting policies. However, to show I am open to exchange, I will agree to share this list of recommended reading, to help develop an understanding of how the caste system of the United States is racialized, and that the understanding of the American experience is structured through the creation, implementation, and sustenance of… Read more »
You’ll note JFP didn’t respond to the assertions about Steele, McWhorter, and others. Or the crime stats. He got snarky. The reason we don’t know much about rich people except for various exhibitionists like the Kardashians is that rich people get a lot more ink when they do something wrong. And generally they don’t, except on crime dramas where rich white people are the only villains allowed, since they’re the only group that doesn’t complain. But in the real world, you have to do something stupendously wrong to get notoriety, presuming you’re not in the entertainment or sports business. The… Read more »
I know a multitude of Black men (doctors, lawyers, engineers, scientists, businessmen, tradesmen, soldiers, sailors, etc.) who are devoted husbands, great fathers, and who consider themselves to be very successful – without having made $100M. I might add that I hold myself to be one of them. For us, it matters not that we are seen and acknowledged by the media, society at large, or the guy who lives around the corner. What matters to us is how we see ourselves and how those we love and toil for see us. Maybe someday we will progress as a society to… Read more »
Lori Day, You obviously don’t know what racism is. Racism is the belief that a race is superior or inferior based upon a person’s skin color. I believe the problems of the black community arise not from biology, but culture. A culture where far too many individuals do not value personal responsibility and seek to blame their problems on others . . . white people, the government, corporations, etc. Nothing prevents blacks individuals from achieving success except the individuals themselves. No one forces black women to have children out of wedlock. No one forces black men to commit crimes. No… Read more »
I don’t think blacks have a real chip on their shoulder what you are seeing is a response to being viewed as inferior. You can look at oppressed ethnic groups around the world and they act much the same way that blacks and Hispanics do. Oppressed can translate into being apart of a persistent underclass. They’re rejection from the mainstream culture has a lasting impact and you are seeing it in the cultures dysfunction. The idea that you can work hard to get ahead was substituted with a victim mentality because they were at a time frequent victims. The fact… Read more »
Ah, more crying victim by those brainwashed by the grievance industry. Hey Jackie, it’s surprising to hear a black kid talk normal because, well, so many speak ebonics. And as far as young black men being seein as a threat . . . well, statistically on a per capita basis they commit violent crime at numbers far exceeding that of other race. You’re right though, we need an intervention in America. But it’s black people who needed it. Across the board, everything was improving for blacks up until the 1960s . . . better test scores, more two parent families,… Read more »
This is one of the most racist comments I’ve ever seen. That’s all I plan to say about it. I will not take any bait that comes my way in reply.
It’s conservative not racist. He is saying it’s the culture not racism that is the source of problems and he has a point even black people recognize that. The victim culture isn’t healthy and I say that as a liberal. Blaming white people for these problems isn’t going to produce better outcomes in 2011. We have to drop the fights of the 60’s and embrace the new age of equality we have entered. Racism will persist but its unlikely to keep many from doing what they want to do. Affirmative action policies help more than they hurt. Blacks tend to… Read more »
Dear Dude, I understand, you’re terrified. Don’t worry, I’m not going to rob you. You’re anonymous, remember? Still, it did log your IP address when you commented, but I digress. The Good Men Project is a place where we attempt to discuss modern masculinity in all it’s greatness and with all of it’s challenges. Dissenting opinions are welcome, as this is the only way we can learn from each other. Personal attacks on writers or the project itself, however, are forbidden by the stated commenting policy. I understand you’re afraid; why else would you attempt to attack a complete stranger?… Read more »
Jackie, Why should I be afraid of you and where did I say I was afraid of black people? All I mentioned is a statistically verifiable statement, that in terms of group percenages, blacks have a higher rate of criminality than other races. Go look it up. Black cab drivers know this and this is why they sometimes don’t pick up members of their own race, even though this almost always gets tagged as a white racism. I agree with you that the whites who engaged in security fraud did so because of their culture and individual freely made choices,… Read more »
Dude, you’re like, totally hostile. Hyper-aggressive, even. Are you sure you’re not part black?
I’m not sure why you’re so angry. Here’s an idea: rent “Blazing Saddles.” It sounds like you could use a good laugh.
JFB
Just trying to help you JFB. Obiviously you don’t feel confident enough to answer substantively. I guess it’s to be expected by those who lack evidence or a logical basis for their opinions. And why even bother when you can just accuse someone of being afraid or angry, or like Lori, just call them a racist.
Even so, best of luck to you. I hope you read those books. Doing so would be a life changing experience for you, no doubt.
GMP Commenting rules: Don’t personally attack anyone—whether it’s their grammar, their intelligence, their name, or anything else. You can attack a viewpoint. That’s fine, but don’t go after the individual. We will not tolerate attacks on the Good Men Project itself, people who question our motives, our intentions or our reason for being. If you want to create your own platform to talk about these issues, go ahead. We invite community participation and encourage people who want to have thoughtful discussions around the topics of important to men. Period. Questioning why we are doing it the way we are doing… Read more »
I kept reading because I was trying to find out about that farting rapper you mentioned, but that was just a teaser. Who was it? When did this happen? Was it into a high pressure system or a low pressure system?
Why can’t this website cover news I’m interested in?…. : – )
Progressives have all stereotyped as something else.
*have them all
Thanks for another thought provoking article. I came up with Robert Johnson when I tried to answer your question.
I’ve said for quite a while that entertainer or athlete are the only professions that are socially acceptable in the black community. There’s no reason that a black man can’t be just as successful in banking or architecture, but he’d be accused of “selling out” or being “too white.”
Exactly.
Entertainers and atheletes, while rich, are still dependent on someone else to provide their bacon. If the owner of the Heat decided to just dissolve the team (I don’t know if that’s even possible, just hypothesizing) LeBron would be out on his butt, until the bidding war started to bring him into the wallet of a new team owner.
Socially acceptable to whom? I’m a member–by default–of the black community, and I have to tell you, my friends with high six figure salaries are quite acceptable, socially.
JFB
I think Tim might be talking about being a household name and being famous with a six figure salary. Like you say in your post: Let’s play a game. Name five black men with a net worth of over $100m. You’ve got ten seconds. Go. Who’d you come up with? Jay-Z? P-Diddy? Shaquille O’Neal? Tiger Woods? Kanye West? Now let’s play the same game, but with one minor qualification: Name five black men who aren’t professional athletes or entertainers, with a net worth of over $100m. You’ve got ten seconds. Go. Who’d you come up with this time? Alphonse Fletcher… Read more »
My question is, Why do people think that television is real? I know people who genuinely believe that cavemen co-existed with dinosaurs, because of the Flintstones. The Flintstones didn’t even feature live-action. It was an animated show. At the doctor’s office a few weeks ago, I saw a wealthy, professional couple on HGTV, refurbishing their 70’s era house to sell. As-is, it was worth over a quarter of a million dollars, and with refurb, they hoped to sell for $350k. The couple was African-American, and the show never mentioned their race. They were referred to by name, and when interviewed,… Read more »
Great piece Jackie. Obviously mine today was to point out, “the minstrel show that is professional sports should by no means be a gauge of the intelligence of anyone but the individual performer.” I completely agree with you that the men of color who HAVE been successful appear no where in the public discourse and that is a huge problem, perhaps bigger than the sports that I attack. Your and mine, I think, are two sides of the same coin. The real issue is how can we cultivate and develop human potential of all colors, but most particularly those who… Read more »
Tom, I’ve got an idea for a bet for you. Give your buddies 10-1 odds that you’ll see a black guy in the stands before the 3rd inning, I’ll show up and we’ll split the difference.
I find knowing that we’re on the same side reassuring. You hit ’em high and I’ll hit ’em low and together we’ll make people acknowledge the issue AND figure out how best to deal with it.
JFB
Jackie and Tom, it is so rare to see this kind of teamwork emerge through commenting on the internet, and it’s one of the things I think makes the Good Men Project so unique. There is an essential camaraderie, and an acknowledgment that individual differences can be constructive when used that way, when so often they are exaggerated and become destructive to dialogue. Good men and good women should all aspire to your example. It is so critical to that goal we all state of getting in a “room” together and figuring things out! Thanks to you both. And great… Read more »
Black men, especially young black men, are considered most threatening people in our society. Going all the way back to slavery, there was a fear and prejudice toward men of color, for a variety of reasons. The impact of that prejudice, both latent and present is felt today in very real and tragic ways. I don’t even bother to look at the data anymore. It’s horrific and, if anything, worsening. That it is not considered a national crisis is evidence, IMO, that that same prejudice continues to be present. I work for one of the largest technology producing / patent… Read more »
Eric, this is exactly the point I made in my previous essay, Black Boy in a White Land: https://goodmenproject.com/ethics-values/black-boy-in-a-white-land/
This country needs an intervention. Admitting there’s a problem is the first step in solving the problem. In the meantime, thank you for living your life and demonstrating by example–regardless of color–how masculine goodness works.
JFB
Missed that one. I’ll check it out. Great work, man.
Any time one group suppresses another, the controlling group develops a fear of the suppressed. The Brits felt it about the Irish, the Hindi, us – any of their colonies. Men who oppress women fear their women’s “wild anger.” I’d like to suggest that it’s the subconscious knowledge of their karmic bank account growing larger and larger. But I suspect it’s less than a spiritual phenomenon.
Kitti, this link may be of interest to you: http://www.jstor.org/stable/10.1086/378647
““Disproportionate criminal punishment of nonwhites constitutes, in part, a reaction to perceived racial threat. The most common formulation traces racial threat to economic relationships between racial (or ethnic) groups. Levels of racial hostility may therefore be greater in places where a dominant group has higher levels of economic marginality. The racial composition of state prisons is firmly associated with the adoption of state felon disenfranchisement laws.”
JFB
I work for one of the largest technology producing / patent holding companies in the world. If I happen to see another black man, we stop and are sure to meet each other because we are an oddity. There is a solidarity because of our rarity and the recognition that we are one of the few. We comprise, no more than 2 or possibly 3% of the staff of my part of the business. I understand how you feel. I work for I guess what you’d call a medium sized bank (we might have 500 employees across the entire company… Read more »
Danny, I’ve been not just the only black officer but the only black employee in several fortune 500 companies. The link I recommended to Eric might interest you as well:
https://goodmenproject.com/ethics-values/black-boy-in-a-white-land/
JFB
I respect the argument you are making here, but I question its validity.
Prior to the financial crisis, how many bankers of ANY race did we see on the 11 o’clock news? And in how many of those cases were the bankers only making the news because of some scandal or bankruptcy? Do we not see successful black bankers, or do we just not see bankers?
Black, white, or otherwise, do we pay to see anyone get their mba?
Warren Buffet. Steve Jobs. Bill Gates. Mark Zuckerberg. Sir Richard Branson.
Took me less than ten seconds and I could keep going, if I didn’t already make my point. Be they investors, real estate moguls, or entrepreneurs, black males–like the ones mentioned above–are rarely portrayed in the media as successful unless they are engaged in some buffoonery. In all fairness, you still have Adam Sandler.
JFB
I was abutally about to raise the same question over bankers specifically. Even white bankers usually only make the headlines when they are up to no good.
Coincidentally, none of the $100m+ mentioned above–black or white– are bankers. The names of Buffet and Gates are universally known, whereas I’d be genuinely surprised if you’d heard of Primo or Fletcher.
If Gates and Buffet are not bankers, why mention him when asked a question specifically about bankers?
There’s a bit of myopia setting in here. The point, which remains valid, isn’t whether or not there are black bankers. There are, I’ve worked with them on (rare) occasion. The point is: outside of the entertainment world–and that includes professional sports–these figures are not generally known by the public or viewed in the media.
JFB