Algorithm this! Jenny Kanevsky says those ubiquitous Facebook quizzes take the social out of social media.
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Snippets of your life, taken out of context and algotrihmed to determine personal choices, puts technology above human interaction, whether it be in person, or online.
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I have taken my share of Facebook quizzes. They can be fun, briefly. Of course, Facebook knows where I really should live (Sydney, Australia); that if I were a TV mom I’d be Debra Barone from Everybody Loves Raymond; and based on a certain list of books I’ve read, that I’m somewhere between a moron and a literary genius. These are time wasters, entertaining sometimes but in the end, a fairly ridiculous distraction. That an algorithm decides what’s best for you, based on personal and/or professional data, misses the point. The word “social” is there for a reason. It’s not in-person socializing, but it is a way to connect with others. Community means something different today and can be worldwide thanks to social media. But when you are at the screen, you the human is present. If you comment on a Status Update, you bring your personality. Snippets of your life, taken out of context and algotrihmed to determine personal choices, puts technology above human interaction, whether it be in person, or online.
I love Facebook. I have met and connected with wonderful people, in fact fostered close friendships. I have advanced my blogging career. I have found community. But Facebook, despite what the algorithms say, doesn’t know me. Facebook algorithms track patterns, yes, and I know an algorithm is complex and you have to be a techie to write one. I don’t care. Facebook, based on what I share online and my community, does not know what’s best for me. I do. People are more complex than what they chose to share on Social Media. I think sometimes we forget that.
A recent Facebook quiz entitled Who Is Your Real Soulmate? will tell you who, among your friends, is ideally suited as your soulmate. Really? How far have we gone? As a soon-to-be-divorced mother of two, I realize I may someday resort to on-line dating; the social landscape has changed for romance. But, that’s just it. Where’s the romance? This quiz was entertaining, but it proved how much algorithms miss without real human interaction, whether it be in real life or online.
I took the quiz three times. My number one soulmate result was a Facebook friend with whom I communicate often. We PM (that’s personal message for you non-Facebook-ites, and if you are one, stay pure). She’s a fellow blogger, and we support each other’s work. She’s a friend. She’s not my closest friend in real life or online and she lives in Canada. I live in Texas. Long distance relationships never work out. My second soulmate was one of The Good Men Project’s Executive Editors. We have never met. She lives twenty minutes away, and we share The Good Men Project. We also have similar interests and political views. The third, finally my gender preference for a romantic soulmate, was another Good Men Project writer. He is a new friend, lives in my city and is head-over-heels in love. With another woman. He posts about this relationship frequently. In fact, when the quiz proclaimed him my soulmate, albeit my third choice up popped my profile picture next to a picture of him, and his girlfriend. Nice work Facebook algorithm.
After each person with whom you are linked, the quiz tells you this:
You share a lot with this person and he/she definitely has a very high opinion of you and you two get along very well.
That’s all it is. We share (or have recently shared) posts, exchanges, likes and seem to be in sync in our views of the world. Whether we’d be soulmates, no algorithm can determine that.
Sentimental attachments or ingrained bias may influence a decision that requires objectivity and rational thought. In that sense, an algorithm can reveal, based on our past actions, some truths of who we are.
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What an algorithm does, however, is gather and synthesize factual data. And that is where and why they work. Results are based on actions and other information (e.g., geographic location); there is no emotional bias. Deciding on a route to the airport, an algorithm calculation using my address, traffic patterns, time of day and even up-to-the-minute information such as road construction or accidents, would be helpful. In addition, often when making decisions, even emotional ones, it is difficult to remain objective. Sentimental attachments or ingrained bias may influence a decision that requires objectivity and rational thought. In that sense, an algorithm can reveal, based on our past actions, some truths of who we are. In the case of the Soulmate Quiz, all three of my potential soulmates are people with whom I share multiple interests, interact with often, and in some cases share proximity. So, chances are, we would get along well. While not a replacement for the feelings one has about a decision, algorithms can be a useful tool to balance that emotion and/or reveal desires that might otherwise have remained in the subconscious.
Of course, it’s doubtful anyone would believe that this quiz could determine something so personal. Some on Facebook share every detail of their lives. Sample status update: “OMG, I just threw up five times. This stomach flu sucks.” While others are more discreet, they may post a blog link, an article they liked, or simply lurk and watch others. Most of us, however, do not show our entire selves on social media platforms, nor should we. We all know the Internet is forever. I have certainly overshared or inappropriately shared on occasion, and either deleted a post, or had to go into damage control mode. And, I’ve learned from those experiences. Facebook has its place. In my world, it is important, and the way I use it has changed.
When I first joined, I had few friends and they were all people I knew in real life before Facebook. I reconnected with my past and I shared pictures of my children. I was also more personal in my Status Updates. Today, I have hundreds of friends, many of whom I have never met and likely never will, but we share a common passion: writing and blogging. I rarely share personal information except one-on-one with Facebook friends or in private groups. Despite that, I have found community in both writer’s groups and support groups. I consider some of my Facebook friends my closest friends because of what we’ve shared. I also post from my blog, and my featured writing on sites other than my own. I do post the occasional funny but impersonal anecdote about my kids. All of what I share is intended to share who I am, my writing, to promote my blog, and to connect with a larger audience. It’s a way to share who I am without oversharing. I write about my life as a single mom, and I write about social issues and current events. But that is not all of who I am. No algorithm can figure that out. Only I can.
Photo—me and the sysop/Flickr
It’s affirming to hear that others are trying to find those definitions of “relationship”. I didn’t really believe in virtual relationships….until I started blogging. Thanks for a lot of food for thought.
Great piece, Jenny. Like you, I’m thankful for the Facebook platform and the mutually supportive communities I’m a part of, but it’s not the same as sharing life over coffee with a friend. I listened to a TED talk about the fact that behavioral psychologists are using FB to study human behavior. While interesting, like you say, we’re not our whole complex selves on Facebook and can’t be dissected as such. Anyway, glad you wrote this.
For me social media enables me to introduce myself to people who seem interesting and I might like to engage with. But beyond that, “friendship” has to happen the “old fashioned way.” Just expanding my lists doesn’t give me much. I answer those people who respond personally and share something about themselves. Its from these people that new friends, new opportunities, and a lot of fun can follow. So here’s a personal bit about me: I’ve been married to Carlin for 36 years. We have 5 children and 15 grandchildren. I’m writing a book for those who are in long-term… Read more »
Mine gave me people I barely know.
I think the quizzes are as you say – appealing wastes of time. But the community and friendships which can be found there are real and beautiful.
Yes, Considerer, I agree 100%.
I think you crawled inside my head and read my mind, I agree with you on all points and you bring clarity! Thank you. I’m going to find you on Facebook now!
I just realized – I think we are both in the anthology I Am Here
Yes, Carol, I am in that anthology. I saw you went to my author page. Thank you!
Loved this post Jenny. Facebook says my soulmate is my college boyfriend. Shhh – don’t tell my husband or his girlfriend!!