So there I was, on my couch live-Tweeting the Oscars. Just another Sunday night at the Academy Awards. The evening began with Venus and Serena Williams on stage, followed by Beyoncé and her dance crew, dressed in tennis ball green, all to honor Oscar’s nominee, King Richard, starring Hollywood darling Will Smith, the favorite for Best Actor last evening.
The Power of my Dog, Biscuit, is to have the smallest bladder in the world and need to go out to pee 10 times a night including during the reading of the Oscar for #bestsupportingactress #oscars
— Michael Kasdan (@michaelkasdan) March 28, 2022
Chris Rock made an in-terribly-poor-taste, offensive joke about Jada Pinkett Smith’s alopecia. Will Smith yelled and cursed at him. And then he walked up to the stage and punched/slapped him in the face. For the U.S. audience, a lot of that incident and the aftermath was bleeped out. And there was some initial confusion as to whether this was itself a scripted bit. But it wasn’t: Will Smith hit Chris Rock on the Oscars telecast.
My first take-away was “Oh boy. After two years of COVID, we really have forgotten how to act in society.”
OMG. Twitter really shines in moments like this.
My take away is that Will Smith’s actions tonight show how after two years of COVID isolation, we no longer know how to be in a society with each other. We’ve lost it. pic.twitter.com/SDTzM28xLb
— Michael Kasdan (@michaelkasdan) March 28, 2022
But my second thought was about the Man Box.
(For more on the meaning and history of the term, please see here).
What Will Smith did was all performative. And it was way more about him than it was about his wife.
♦◊♦
And the #Oscar goes to … Will Smith. 👀 #Drama
And instead of apologizing, he says Richard Williams was a fierce protector of his family. And he’s being called upon to love and protect.
No no no no no.
— Michael Kasdan (@michaelkasdan) March 28, 2022
You’re no vessel for love, buddy. Vessels for love don’t punch people in the face. Pathetic.
— Michael Kasdan (@michaelkasdan) March 28, 2022
Hollywood celebrating Will Smith is gross. Why is he still sitting there, laughing and clapping.
The enablement of this behavior for famous actors. Ugh. Just like athletes. https://t.co/fP0GdS6vTE via @GoodMenProject
— Michael Kasdan (@michaelkasdan) March 28, 2022
That was performative masculinity.
He wasn’t protecting his wife in the moment. She wasn’t in danger. There was no need for a violent response.
Will Smith could have easily confronted Rock afterwards and told him to cut that offensive shit out.
But he didn’t. He needed to seem macho and tough.
He didn’t do it for her. He did it for himself and the other men in that room.
And then to top it all off, just in case the metaphor for toxic masculinity wasn’t perfect enough, in order to try to rationalize his violence, he got up there and gave a paternalistic speech about “love” and “protection.” And instead of being confronted about the assault, he was cheered and handed an award.
Our culture of normalization and enablement, on full display.
And Look What He Taught His Son:
And That’s How We Do It
— Jaden (@jaden) March 28, 2022
It’s the wrong lesson. As Adam Grant just Tweeted:
Assault is not an expression of love. It’s a symptom of what psychologists call precarious manhood [i.e., man box or dominance-based masculinity]. In cultures of honor, men rationalize aggression as a means of maintaining respect, and perpetuate cycles of violence. The best way to protect others is to break the cycle.
—
Photo Credit: ShutterStock
Michael, all very well said. As Smith’s acceptance speech droned on and on it became all the more clear that he was making this all about himself. I think that when all the furor dies down and people take a second look at his behavior he will look all the worse for it.