George Clarke defies so many stereotypes, he’s sometimes feels as if he doesn’t even exist.
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Statistically speaking, I’m not supposed to be here.
This is neither the time nor place to get into a sweeping discussion about incarceration in the United States, but in case you missed it, one of every three black men is imprisoned, among other horrific stats—and even though a Howard University professor debunked the idea that there are more black men in prison than in college, that ratio is still disproportionately bad compared to young men of other ethnicities.
So when I powered my way through the second half of high school to earn a berth in one of America’s best public communications schools, that was a statistical anomaly. It’s also a cultural anomaly—and for that matter, so am I.
You could say I’m a product of both the city and the suburbs. My childhood home is a few miles outside of Syracuse’s city limits, but since my family has been in Syracuse for generations and lives in various places across the city, I spent many of my younger days within the city. But while my more psychonormal peers were busy being kids and chasing what’s cool, I was my socially awkward and brainy self, to the point where I never quite fit in with anyone else, black or white.
When I tried to make black friends as a child, I’d get laughed away for being a geek and “talking white”—never mind that I’ve always been comfortable with, even proud of, my ethnicity. My parents taught me to speak English cleanly, so I did, and for that I paid a price. White kids, being kids, reacted pretty much the same way, but from another angle: They expected me to be cool because I was black, and when they figured out I was more Urkel than Usher, they too turned the other way.
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In places where black men are scarce, such as the overwhelmingly white suburban school from which I graduated, we’re assumed to fit that cool, suave, athletic niche the other students can’t touch. Expecting that of me, a geeky kid diagnosed with Asperger syndrome at quite a young age, just wasn’t fair.
According to all cultural expectations, black men like me, the ones who have a good amount of brainpower but who can’t shake a stick at Idris Elba, aren’t supposed to exist. For whatever mix of reasons, we black men bear the burden of proving we’re thinkers, not thugs. Just because we’re blessed with more melanin doesn’t mean we have to talk or dress a certain way. Many people before me will say that black people come in all personality types, and many will say it in the future, but until this country gets the message, repeating it once more can never hurt.
You can be black—proudly black, never parroting the behaviors of a privileged majority—and still be a quirky intellectual against all odds. Just ask me.
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photo: stevenfernandez / flickr
That line about “…more Urkel than Usher…” really hit home for me. I remember watching Family Matters every week and watching how no matter what Urkel did, he could never win over Laura. I think that sent a clear message to the masses that type of Black male was not to be wanted or desired. Those types seem to only attract women once they have had all their fun and return as shells of themselves expecting to find “a good Black man”. I’m in my 40’s and I find myself feeling more and more like I don’t exist and my… Read more »
This is maybe off the subject a little, but there’s something fishy about the statistics. If 1 in 3 black men is in prison, and there are more black men in college than in prison, then that means that MORE than a third of all black men are in college. That just seems high to me for any race or ethnicity of men. I seriously doubt that anywhere near a third of all white, Asian, latino, Native American, you name it, men are in college. “All black males” includes people of all ages, from newborn to the oldest African American… Read more »
“…more Urkel than Usher….”
Beautiful way to put it. It’s even somewhat embarrassing from a larger cultural analysis that this phrase makes sense to me. It’s a shame that these were the reference points that most captured my attention.
P.S. Perhaps you’ve hit on the title for a memoir? “More Urkel Than Usher”?
And when opportunities are provided, they go to irresponsible people (like wedlock moms and dead beat dads) instead of responsible people like myself who work hard and don’t see the fruits of their labor.
Actually the fruits of you labour go to the top 1%
https://goodmenproject.com/bits-and-pieces/a-stark-look-at-the-wealth-gap-in-america/
If you took all of the money from the one rich guy at the top, then you could tipple the wealth of the entire bottom 40%
And yes I do expect opportunities to fall into my lap like it does for other ethnic groups. Some people do get a free lunch if not reduced and that must belong to all “blacks” in this country whose descendants slaved for nothing and contributed so much…..call it entitlement, I call it being fair. Japanese (for times spent in WWII camps in the west) Native Americans (land reservations and casinos) and Jewish (fleeing Nazi Germany) got their “free-lunch” so where is ours?
High school was just the beginning of what I thought would be a payoff for hard work and rising above statistics but I guess not. 🙁
Just ask me… I have two degrees (B.A. and Masters) from a major university and I am three years shy of 30 with no children no record and no job. Go figure. I don’t know what is worse, doing everything right and not getting rewarded or doing everything wrong, getting caught, and suffering the consequences. Damned if you do and damned if you don’t as an African-Descent in America (a land ceased from natives by European descents)
Hey man, I can so totally relate.
Australia is so sports crazy, that my nerdish leanings and interests in sci fi have often rendered me invisible. Thanks for posting. It’s good to know that there are others who belong to minorities within minorities.