Are you going to breastfeed?
Your birth plan is to go all natural, right?
Are you going back to work?
You’re not even thinking about co-sleeping, are you?
Did you know that letting your baby cry it out damages them irreparably?
The judgmental questions begin before our children are even born. As a first time parent-to-be, you generally do one of three things to prepare for impending parenthood: You over-research every potential option and develop your own, generally very strict guidelines for everything related to your baby. Or, you have no idea what you’ll do, so you mumble agreements with every well-meaning, but overstepping piece of advice you’re told. Or, you have a general idea, but acknowledge that babies tend to have a mind of their own.
Any way you prepare is perfectly fine. The problem lies with the judgment and opinions of others who remain ready to pounce on unsuspecting parents to be. Sometimes those people are friends or family who truly think they’re being helpful. Other times, those people are complete strangers who happen to be occupying the same general space as you when you’re visibly pregnant. And the most amusing of people are those who have never had children, never raised children, and don’t work in a specialized environment involving children.
Here’s the bottom line for any of the above groups of people offering well-intentioned advice: just stop. Unless the parents-to-be directly ask for specific opinions or advice, there is no need to share. Part of the process of becoming parents is figuring out how to do things that will work for your family. Because what works for my family may not work for yours, and vice versa.
Breastfed or bottle fed? Co-sleep or strict bed rules? All natural birth or all the pain medication? Sleep training or attachment parenting? Working mom or stay at home mom? I could care less on any of them. As long as your baby is safe and well-cared for, you do you.
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