I asked my female friends what they wanted to see me write about. They said write about how dads can share the responsibility. These moms are tired and want some help I guess. Why would I even want to take on the extra burden? I’m pretty busy too.
If we moved back to Bali we could just hire a Pembantu to take care of my kid for $2.50 an hour. They clean your house too. My friend even has a gardener who doubles as a masseuse.
I came up with this crazy analogy about how a kid first is in the womb and then the metaphorical ‘womb’ grows to be as big as a room, and then a house, and then the neighborhood, and then the city, and one day her boy sets off for school and the ‘womb’ is as a big as the country, and then he sets off to travel the world and now her womb is as big as the whole earth, and she is like mother earth. All this is to say – the mother is life for a child.
A man’s traditional role is to protect, provide, and procreate. I heard that on a podcast about masculinity. Maybe it’s true. Once you’ve had a kid, you can check off procreate.
What if we broaden our definition of protection and provide? In addition to food and shelter, a dad can provide experiences, education, friendship, good examples, a healthy mindset. They can protect their child from negative thinking, potentially poor choices, voodoo, bullies, and leading a boring life.
What if your wife makes all the money? Does that make you less of a man because you are not the provider? That might make me uncomfortable. I’m in a race with Heidi to see who can make the most money this year.
When I leave for the day to work at the coworking space and come home, Heidi says “Daddy’s home!” It’s like a little surprise party, and the coolest thing I get to hear every day. Then I put down my work stuff and I get to play with my kid.
Some days I don’t leave the house and I am there all day and I get to take breaks from my work to hang out with the baby. Or I have to take breaks to change a diaper because Heidi is doing something selfish like taking a shower.
Imagine you trying writing some serious business article and then you have to go change a diaper – your work doesn’t seem so serious or important anymore. Or maybe it makes everything much more important, this kid has to eat after all!
Sometimes, I do things like cook dinner or clean up the house. Sometimes I let Heidi sleep in and take the baby outside with me while I do my morning reading and yoga and he watches and I hang out with him. Sometimes I read to him about entrepreneurship or history or geography or something. I hope he grows up smart.
Sometimes I wrap him to me late at night and walk him around until he falls asleep. He falls asleep when I read to him about business.
His grandparents read to him more than I do. Sometimes they look after Axel, and Heidi and I steal some personal time to go for a walk. Sometimes he takes a nap during the day and we run around and try to be as productive as possible.
This is the first week that I’m away from Axel since he was born. I called Heidi and she put me on speaker. When Axel heard my voice he shut up and paid attention. I guess he knows I’m the real boss around here.
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