Are there emotional needs in a relationship? The answer is yes. Every relationship involves specific emotional needs that help build intimacy between partners and connect them on a deeper level. And as everyone knows, the stronger the bond in a relationship, the more fulfilling it is.
I recently realized that as a child, when people were asked about their dream partners, their answers were primarily based on looks and material things. But as they grow older and become more mature, they become more interested in the characteristics beneath the surface level.
What Are Emotional Needs?
When people first meet, they may only be attracted to each other for physical attributes. But time neatly peels away the surface, and they crave something for the less immaterial things as they get intimate. Emotional needs are the “little things” that make the big things in a relationship count. They may sound insignificant, but they matter a lot. Every human has emotional needs – let alone a relationship that involves more than one person and requires a lot of work.
Critical Emotional Needs in a Relationship
Unmet needs in a relationship can be immensely disastrous and slowly eat at a relationship until it’s all hallowed and nothing but the shell of what it was once.
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Emotional needs are different for everybody, but these top ones are vital to ensure emotional satisfaction in a relationship.
1. Affection
Topping the list of 10 emotional needs in a relationship is affection. One cannot overemphasize the need for affection. There are many ways to show affection, including random acts of kindness, sympathy, empathy, and intimacy. Though some men embrace toxic masculinity, affection is still among the top emotional needs of a man as much as it is one of the emotional needs of a woman in a relationship.
A man in a relationship forum described the lack of it affected his relationship: “I go out of my way to let my SO know that I think of them, and I care about them (flowers every other month or so, random small gifts when I see something they might like, etc.). I don’t need them to go out of their way to do the same but grabbing me a coffee when they’re getting one for themselves or sending a nice text once in a while would get the job done.
My ex-wife couldn’t even muster that much effort most of the time. This is how resentment starts, and relationships end.”
2. Communication
Communication applies to every field of life. Workers are advised to communicate and express their discomforts in the cooperate world. Communication matters so much more in relationships–they build a lasting bond. There will be fights, things one partner may disapprove of, and minor disagreements. But what matters is effectively communicating to let their significant other understand them better.
Take it from this online community user who said, “After walking on eggshells in consecutive failed relationships, I now communicate needs and boundaries in advance with my SO. Because of this, there are no ‘taboo’ topics, and we’re comfortable in our own skin around each other.”
3. Personal Space
Some people can’t stand being with other people for too long. They set apart some time to “recharge” their social batteries. No matter how extroverted a person may be, sometimes they crave their privacy and time to reflect.
The same is true for people in relationships who are only human. Doing things with your partner is essential to deepen your connection and give them space to do what they want so they don’t feel you’re breathing down their neck every second. Partners also require autonomy and a sense of self for emotional and mental well-being.
4. Validation
Like communication, this requires you to pay serious attention to what your partner is saying. You may not understand their feelings or plight, but they must know you are trying to. Most times, when people rant, they don’t need a voice of reason; they want someone to listen to them and accept their thoughts and emotions.
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Emotional satisfaction in a relationship can seem like a myth without validation from one’s partner, as constant dismissal could lead to frustration and other negative emotions.
5. Mutual Interest
Partners must find each other deeply fascinating for the relationship to stand a chance of lasting. Mutual interest entails partners enjoying each other’s company and paying attention to each other and things that concern them. Another critical way to show interest is by being a great listener – even when they are rambling on about the dumbest or most boring topics.
For someone like this user of an online community, this is paramount: “My number one is to be listened to. I’m not a great storyteller or someone who can make other people laugh on command. But I think I have interesting ideas sometimes, and they benefit from being heard and questioned. I realize this is a big ask, but I’d really love to meet someone who is as fascinated by the world (and not just people) as I am and willing to engage in both baseless speculation and random observations.”
6. Trust
What’s a relationship without trust, the building block of every lasting bond? If you don’t trust your partner, how can you be sure they wouldn’t hurt your feelings? How can you be sure they won’t cheat or lie to you?
Trust creates an unshakeable faith between two people; that’s why it takes time to build and, once lost, may time to or may never be restored. It is easy to feel secure where there is trust; it is one of the most essential emotional needs of a man and woman in a relationship.
7. Commitment
Partners must be committed and devoted to each other and their goals. A relationship is not sunshine and roses; there are tough days. Some days could make one feel like giving up, ignoring their significant other, or even abandoning them. But with commitment, one can think beyond themselves and realize that they signed up for the relationship, the good days and the bad.
Commitment is one of the most significant emotional needs of a woman who is prone to having multiple mood swings and hormonal bouts. Also, people who suffer from mental disorders like anxiety, bipolar disorders, and ADHD need to know they have a solid support system and someone dedicated to them.
8. Acceptance
People come in all shades and colors. While searching for your partner, you probably searched for someone who ticked almost every box on your dream list. But as earlier said, time peels away the surface. You may discover that although your partner may be everything you wanted, they come with different characteristics that may be good or bad. Even if they don’t, people, like seasons, change by growing with time.
Learn to love and accept them for who they are/become instead of trying to shape them into an exact image of the man/woman of your dreams. However, you should know the difference between them growing and becoming the opposite of who you fell in love with.
9. Admiration
When partners cannot admire each other genuinely, it leads to unmet needs in a relationship. Yes, it may sound cheesy, but lacking this can lead to a slow build-up of resentment. It is important to always show and remind your partner that you love and admire them.
Take pride in their activities, and never hesitate to show them off!
10. Honesty and Loyalty
Earlier, we mentioned that trust is the building block of every relationship and takes time to build. Now, honesty is the building block of trust. When you’re completely honest with someone, no matter what is at stake, the person sees reasons to trust and respect you, which builds a healthy relationship between you.
Loyalty also works hand in hand with honesty. One can easily believe you are loyal to them when you remain sincere and transparent in the relationship. Every relationship requires loyalty to thrive – unless it is an open agreement where both partners have clearly established rules.
I’ll end with this quote by u/tmeghana:
“Not having your emotional needs met leads to feeling invisible, unimportant, and not cared for. As if you don’t matter. If you’ve constantly experienced this, you’ll end up being attached to being emotionally deprived.”
FAQ
1. What are the emotional needs of a man in a relationship?
Some critical emotional needs of men include affection, respect, and loyalty. Contrary to popular belief, men also enjoy random little acts of love. They are used to being caregivers, handing flowers, and holding doors open. Sometimes they crave love and affection but don’t even know how to ask for it.
They also appreciate loyalty and want to be respected.
2. What are the emotional needs of a woman in a relationship?
Love, care, family commitment, intimacy, and security are some of the primary emotional needs of a woman in a relationship. A woman is the main character in her world and must always feel that way.
Also, she needs a partner who commits to her and the family and is ready to build with her – it is one way for her to feel secure. Other ways are through physical and emotional intimacy and open communication.
3. How to achieve emotional satisfaction in a relationship?
The only way to achieve emotional satisfaction in a relationship is when both partners are aware of the needs of each other. Again, communication has a significant role to play here. When they know and understand how important it is, they can work towards building satisfaction, as unmet needs in a relationship might destroy it.
This article was produced and syndicated by Wealth of Geeks.
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This post was previously published on Wealth of Geeks and is republished on Medium.
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