Today we talk about something we rarely come across. In my previous articles, I always emphasize the importance of trust in a relationship. No doubt, communication and intimacy are the foundations of any healthy relationship. When these start to slow down, it is often an indication that the dynamics between you and your partner are shifting, and not in a good way. If you’ve noticed your husband, or boyfriend acting differently or distancing himself from you, it’s possible that he may be cheating or thinking about cheating.
1.Unexplained calls or texts, especially late at night.
At the beginning of a relationship, communication is constant and ongoing. However, if your partner frequently receives or sends furtive messages or calls, especially late at night or early in the morning, this could be a sign that he’s talking to someone else behind your back. Check this: does he startled when his phone goes off? Does he take his phone to the other room to make calls or send texts? While occasional privacy is normal, if this behavior becomes frequent or secretive, it may be a cause for concern.
2.Pulling away physically or emotionally.
When people are happy and fulfilled in a relationship, they desire closeness and intimacy with their partner. If your boyfriend seems less interested in sex, physical affection, or quality time together, it could indicate his feelings are shifting, or even worse, he’s finding intimacy elsewhere.
While some space is normal in a long-term relationship, a prolonged pulling away is often a warning sign. If your partner suddenly seems always to be busy or steers clear of opportunities for real quality time together or intimacy, something is wrong.
3.Unexplained absences or excuses.
We all have busy lives and unexpected things come up from time to time. However, if your partner is suddenly, or frequently unavailable with suspicious excuses that are hard to verify, this could be a red flag. Easy to understand, if he’s regularly working late, going out with friends multiple nights a week, or taking more trips for work, these could potentially be ways to create opportunities to meet someone else. While there could be reasonable explanations, if his absences become a pattern or his excuses seem inconsistent or implausible, it’s worth addressing your concerns with him.
4.Hiding phone and computer.
If your partner is suddenly very protective of his phone or computer, not letting you see who he’s communicating with; or being evasive about his browsing history, he has something to hide. While everyone is entitled to some privacy, a sudden shift to intensely secretive behavior is suspicious. Notice if he’s taking his devices into the other room, clearing his history or messages more frequently, or acting anxious if you happen to see his screen.
If you confront him about this secretive behavior, look for inconsistencies in his responses or defensiveness as potential signs he may not be honest about the reasons.
5.Losing interest in the relationship.
When someone starts “cheating”, or milder saying, plans to end a relationship, they typically withdraw emotionally as a precursor. Does he seem uninterested in discussing the relationship or making future plans together? Is date night a thing of the past? Do conversations feel sleepy or tired? While some comfortable silence is normal between two people who know each other well, a prolonged withdrawal of interest could signal he’s already checked out of the relationship. If you feel this is happening, have an open conversation about your concerns and how you both can strengthen your connection.
6.Sudden changes in appearance.
If your partner has started focusing more on his looks by dressing differently, wearing cologne more often, or showering right when he gets home, it could be a sign that he’s trying to impress someone else. Although some men do interested in their grooming and style, it should not be drastic or sudden changes. If you have doubts, consider having an open conversation about the reasons behind his new habits.
7.Acting defensive or angry when asking questions.
If you gently ask your partner about suspicious behaviors or your recent relationship concerns, does he get defensive or angry? An overly strong or angry reaction might indicate he feels guilty or has something to hide. While it’s natural to feel some defensiveness when having difficult conversations, hostility or aggression is not a healthy response. Partners who aim for a long-term relationship will never avoid communicating. More precisely, he doesn’t want you to be sad about the relationship.
If this is how he reacts to serious relationship discussions, it may show a lack of respect for you and the problems you’re facing as a couple.
8.Unaccounted for time, and receipts.
A cheating man will often create blocks of unaccounted-for time to spend with their secret partners. If your partner comes home with suspicious receipts, charges, or gifts he can’t adequately explain. While this isn’t definitive proof of unfaithfulness, if accompanied by other suspicious behaviors, unaccounted-for time or purchases could be an additional clue that he’s hiding something from you or not being fully honest about his whereabouts or spending.
9.Picking fights and blaming you for problems.
Notice if he’s being critical or dismissive of you, or blaming you for problems in the relationship. Picking unnecessary fights or constantly blaming you for relationship issues could be your partner’s way of justifying bad behavior or distancing himself from the real problems. While arguments and disagreements are normal in a relationship, persistent conflict and refusal to take responsibility are unhealthy patterns that often emerge when someone is about to end a relationship.
10.Removing relationship status or pictures from social media.
If your boyfriend was once open about your relationship on social media but has suddenly removed indicators of your partnership, this could signal he wants to appear single to others. While some people are just private about their relationship online, a complete removal of a long-term relationship is impossible. This may be a way for him to scope out interest from other women before fully committing to ending things with you.
The more signs you notice and the more prolonged the changes in behavior, the more likely it is that your partner’s faithfulness or commitment is seriously wavering. The only way to know for certain what is going on is to openly and honestly communicate with each other about your feelings and concerns. While this can be a difficult conversation, clear communication is the best way to clarify where you both stand and determine the future of your relationship.
However, before this conversation, consider if you are really ready for this. Sometimes the ultimate sign a boyfriend is cheating is an outright confession or sudden breakup. He may admit to cheating if confronted with clear evidence or feeling guilty. Or he may decide to just end the relationship rather than face the issue.
While a confession or breakup is painful, it at least provides the closure and clarity that he was not faithful or committed to making the relationship work. This is understandably devastating, but it allows you to move forward in the long term with someone who will treat you with respect.
While confronting the truth can be difficult, you deserve a trustworthy partner or the opportunity to find someone who will offer commitment and truly value you!
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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