Anyone can have a crappy day — or week, or month. But there are practical and readily available solutions to get to the other side of a bad day.
Perhaps we are similar? I consider myself fortunate, resilient and optimistic. But I have never witnessed a tougher two years. This week alone, I am having a hard time keeping up with all the dramatic and upsetting news out there. And that’s on top of the surge in COVID cases and hospitalizations because of the stunning selfishness of people who don’t believe in science (or “did their own research”) or don’t understand that they protect themselves and others, including their children if they get vaccinated.
I live in Canada and today marked the 1000-day anniversary of the incarceration in China of Michael Korvig and Michael Spavor. These Canadian businessmen languish in harsh conditions in prison on trumped-up espionage charges in retaliation for the arrest of Meng Wanzhou, the Chief Financial Officer of Huawei.
The Americans want Meng to be extradited to the USA on criminal charges. Oh, did I say she was under house arrest in her mansion pending her extradition hearings in Vancouver?
Most Canadians feel their government has abandoned the two Michaels. We also think that Canada botched efforts to rescue Canadians stranded in Afghanistan, as well as interpreters and local contractors who supported our military efforts and the refugees we pledged to help. All is not well in Canada, so it is impossible for me to feel smug about the sh*t show that is America.
On top of a world being off its rocker, all of us have issues in our personal lives we have to contend with. Many of us have enough to cause a bad day even without reading the news.
Sometimes we just plain feel unmotivated, sad, angry, worried, regretful, discouraged and so on.
One of the best lessons I have learned as a writer and in my day job as an editor is when I put my work aside and go back and revisit it with fresh eyes a day or two later, I can always make it better. Now I have tried applying that take-a-break strategy to my life and the occasional crappy day.
Here are 10 different ways I take a break and get to the other side of a crappy day or week.
1. Get some sleep.
I am not saving the best for last. Getting some sleep is the single best way to feel better. I don’t know about you, but I can do without many things, yet I fall apart if I don’t sleep. I also think I can better tackle most problems if I have slept well. I think most people are like me.
It is also the hardest to do. It’s hard to sleep if you are upset — ruminating about the thousand things on your to-do list — or the other person’s life you need to fix.
But it’s more than just alcohol, too much caffeine, turning off bright screens, rooms that are too hot or a bunch of other physical factors that impede sleep. None of these things matter one iota if we hit the pillow and our thoughts are racing.
I have learned that it is ok to go to bed in a crappy mood, but I have to stop the racing thoughts. Some days I don’t feel blissful, content, and grateful — and it’s ok.
I have literally used guerilla tactics to learn how to let go and quiet my mind so I can sleep. I am sure you can too.
2. Get out.
Get out of your four walls and go for a walk, a run or a bike ride, or to the gym. Sometimes I can’t motivate myself to go out for what I know will be a restorative walk. So I create a destination I walk to. I walk to the grocery store, have my groceries delivered and walk home.
If a leisurely walk is not in the cards, there are a hundred ways to do something purposeful or useful on your walk: pick up your dry cleaning, buy a loaf of bread, drop off a note for a friend to name a few.
3. Change your perspective.
It’s a bad day. The more you tell yourself that, the more it will be the reality. Change the narrative. Tell yourself a better story, and that will be your new perspective.
Again it sounds easy, but it is not. It takes practice to learn how to do this. But try a little experiment. Close your eyes and tell yourself you are a rotten person or a bad partner. How do you feel?
Then tell yourself you are a good person or you are doing your best. Thank you. I’ve made my point.
There has got to be a reason why so many therapists know that positive affirmations work.
4. Cook a meal.
When I am having a crappy day, I often head to the kitchen to prepare a meal. Alexa is there to play some upbeat music. Before long, I am peeling veggies and dancing.
Some of the loveliest moments in my life have been around the dinner table. And I have a roster of friends who don’t mind last-minute invitations.
Learn to make a couple of good dishes; add a simple salad and buy dessert if making one sounds like a chore.
Sharing a meal and a conversation is a balm for a crappy day. The operative word here is: share.
5. Go on a date.
A romantic date is fine, but I am not talking about that. I am talking about calling a friend or acquaintance and having a coffee or going for a walk. Taking a break and talking to someone — not necessarily solving problems — is an effective crappy day buster.
6. Clean up your space.
This is not a call to deep cleaning action, although on a crappy day I can go down that rabbit hole to avoid all else. You don’t have to Marie Kondo-ize your entire living quarters to give your mood a boost.
Tidy up your desk, your office space at work, or the kitchen. Make your bed.
Vacuuming is unbelievably cathartic and effective because it’s a physical activity that results in a clean floor.
7. Do something you have put off.
Sounds counterintuitive. But there is immense satisfaction that arises from tackling and completing something you have been putting off.
The trick is to reward yourself with something pleasant or that you enjoy when you have completed the dreaded task. Imagine the colossal feeling of satisfaction you get from completing a task you have been avoiding — like filing the paperwork accumulating on your desk — and rewarding yourself — with your favourite take-out. A little dopamine boost on a crappy day is guaranteed.
8. Pay someone a compliment.
One positive compliment can change a person’s life. At a minimum, it will make someone’s day. And like all small acts of kindness, it will also make you feel better.
Nobody to compliment? Then call your mother just to say hello. Give a few bucks to a stranger asking for money on the street. Say a few words to the person sitting next to you on the subway or bus or in the coffee shop line.
The opportunities for small acts of random kindness are infinite. I will guarantee that reaching out to another human in this way will make you feel better on a crappy day.
9. Write.
Writing is my preferred pastime. I find that all my sorrows can be carried if I write. It is both a hobby and a form of therapy for me. If you are a full-time writer, then maybe more writing will not give you the break you need.
Anything can be substituted for this crappy-day-busting tip. Woodworking, working out, music, stamp collecting, walking your dog, throwing a ball with your kid — anything you love to do will help you through a crappy day.
10. Take care of yourself.
I put this last. Not because it is the least important, but because it is still the hardest strategy for me to employ when I have a crappy day.
I am talking about self-care. As a busy mom and entrepreneur, I never had much time to indulge myself, let alone take care of myself. I am a work in progress in this department. But I am pretty skilled at employing most of the other tips I have provided, so don’t despair for me.
Here’s the trick: ask yourself if it will make you happier, calmer, and healthier. If it does, chances are it will be beneficial.
I struggle to know if a manicure or my favourite ice cream is self-care. As I said, I am a work in progress.
. . .
When all else fails — screw it.
There’s nothing wrong with having the occasional bad day. Sometimes we just can’t fix what is wrong or bothering us. Maybe we can’t remove the negative crap from our lives despite our valiant efforts.
The crappy days exist in my life. I acknowledge them. I pay attention, but I also know they will pass.
I also try and do something that will help. These days I need all the strategies I can find.
I hope these strategies will help you go back in and do all the good stuff you enjoy doing.
Thanks to Kristina Segarra, Michelle Loucadoux, MBA, The Startup, and Stephanie Thurrott.
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This post was previously published on Change Becomes You.
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You may also like these posts on The Good Men Project:
White Fragility: Talking to White People About Racism | Escape the “Act Like a Man” Box | The Lack of Gentle Platonic Touch in Men’s Lives is a Killer | What We Talk About When We Talk About Men |
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