You’re deep in it right now — that unique and terrible blend of pain, disbelief, and emptiness that comes with lost love.
Maybe the relationship was a long one, or maybe it was a bright flame that quickly burned out. Maybe it had a formal label and a shared home, kids, and utility bills attached. Maybe it was never clearly defined and was full of “almost’s,” “maybe’s,” and “what if’s.”
Whatever it was, it was everything to you until it was gone. And whether the end happened yesterday or months ago, your heart hasn’t processed the status update and it still hurts like hell.
Time will heal that wound, even if it leaves a scar behind. Does that make you feel better today? Of course not. But here are some things to remember when you’re at your lowest and fighting to climb your way back to the surface. One day you’ll read them and realize they have come true.
- You can do this. It will get easier. Someday it will be your past instead of your present.
- Setbacks are part of the process. There is no way to fail at moving on if you keep trying again. Eventually it will work.
- You don’t need to change who you are to be worthy of love. You are already worthy and you are already loved. Losing one relationship — even a major one — doesn’t undo that.
- You loved someone deeply and that is a strength, not a weakness. You should never worry you loved “too much.” There is no such thing.
- You never predicted this chapter of your life, and there are so many good things that will happen later that you also can’t predict. They could happen any day. They could be even better than this ever was.
- You were right that this was special even if it didn’t last. It meant something to both of you even if those meanings didn’t match up in the end.
- You can let go of this without erasing the good parts and their importance to you. A relationship can be over without losing its significance.
- The time you put into this wasn’t wasted. Following your heart is never a waste of time.
- You don’t have to go back to the way life was before, or stay the way it is now. You can move forward and see what’s ahead.
- It will be okay. You will be okay.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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