We are living in difficult times. Who would have ever imagined that in 2020 the world would be crippled by a pandemic? We were introduced to new terms in our lexicon like ‘sheltering in place,’ ‘flatten the curve’ and ‘social distancing.’ We have seen unprecedented unemployment, business closures, and loss of life. This has been a year of remarkable change.
Time keeps slipping
This year has taught me a lot about life and myself. Life is about change; it is forever moving. The Steve Miller Band’s repeated verse, ‘Time keeps on slippin’, slippin’, slippin’ into the future’ from their song ‘Fly Like an Eagle’ sums up the passing of time.
Each of us possesses the same 24 hours a day and one-hundred, 68 hours a week. What are you doing with your time? Stop wasting time agonizing over what happened yesterday. Stop wasting time with discouraged people. Stop wasting time wishing you were someone else. Accept who you are and live the best version of yourself.
George Washington Carver said, “No individual has any right to come into the world and go out of it without leaving behind him distinct and legitimate reasons for having passed through it.” If you want to have this kind of impact, then you must determine in your mind to make it happen. Sitting around complaining, making excuses, and playing the blame game will only leave you with a legacy of would’ve, could’ve, and should’ve been.
As we continue to deal with the pandemic and all the other dramatic things that have happened this year, life still goes on. I want to take a moment to reflect on the ten valuable lessons I have learned during the pandemic in 2020.
10 Valuable Life Lessons
1. It is okay to cry.
One of the worst things that have been taught to men is that real men don’t cry. I don’t see it this way. Real men do cry. Crying is a way of releasing the pains and pressures of life. Too many men hold the problems and pressures inside, and they destroy them internally.
You don’t always have to pretend to be strong. If you need to cry, then let it out. It’s healthy to shed tears. The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to handle the situation better.
2. Focus on what you have, not on what you don’t.
Many men miss enjoying what they have because they are so focused on what they don’t have. You may not have everything you think you should have but be thankful for what you have. If you have trouble doing this, then I recommend getting a piece of paper and write down everything you are grateful for today.
After you finish, you should have a detailed list of things you are thankful for. Keep this list with you, tape it on your bathroom mirror, download it on your phone or tablet. Whenever you start to complain about what you don’t have, pull out your list and say out loud the things you are thankful for and watch your attitude change.
3. Don’t compare yourself to someone else.
You may resemble your father or mother, but you are not them. You may have similar skills as someone else, but you are not them. You are unique. You are an original. When you compare yourself to others, you negate who you are. The comparison syndrome will leave you frustrated and angry about who you are. It will rob you of the joy of living out your uniqueness.
Don’t waste valuable time trying to walk in some else’s shoes when you have your shoes to walk in. It is okay to be different. It is okay to be you. Don’t get caught up in the social media, marketing, and television hype that says you have to be like someone else or you are lacking. Don’t hide who you are because you think you don’t measure up to someone else. God created you to stand out and not blend in. Because if you don’t live out your uniqueness, then who will.
4. Stop trying to get people to like you.
One of the best ways to free yourself from the unnecessary pressure of trying to get everyone to like you is to realize everyone will not like you. It is not the end of the world if everyone does not like you. It is not your responsibility to make people like you. Your only responsibility is to treat people like you want to be treated.
If you are overdoing your personality to get people to like you, please stop. Just be your unique self. If people can’t like you for who you are, then you don’t need them in your life. I have learned no matter how you live or what you do; someone will always disagree. So my advice is to live your best life and let the rest take care of itself.
5. Leave your failures and regrets in the past.
Don’t let them hold you hostage from achieving your dreams. Don’t let them define who you are or what you can do. Don’t let them dictate how you live your life. You have endured through intense struggles and overcame insurmountable obstacles, so you can’t afford to allow your failures and regrets to hold you bound to the past.
When you stay locked in the past, you become stuck and unable to progress forward. We all have failures and regrets that we are ashamed of, and many have cost us great pain, heartache, and loss. We can’t go back and redo what happened, but we can forgive ourselves or seek forgiveness from others and move on with our life. It is time for you to put your past failures and regrets behind you, let them go, and begin to live the way you were meant to live.
6. Life is not easy.
If you expect life to be easy, then you will be greatly disappointed. You will encounter turbulences that will throw you off course. You will experience trials that will make you want to walk away from everything. Life will throw you a curveball that will leave you swinging in the air. When you think things are coming together one minute, the next minute, things are falling apart. Life is a challenge.
Life’s challenges will strengthen you to push towards excellence or cause you to surrender to mediocrity. They will empower you to see past where you are or encourage you to live life stuck where you are. The choice is yours. Accept the challenges and deal with them.
7. Listening to Negative thoughts will drain you.
Negative thinking can convince you that you can’t live a useful life because you have been in a negative situation for too long. It can make you feel like you can’t be successful, and you can’t do anything right. Negative thinking will leave you thinking that you can’t live past yesterday’s problems, today’s circumstances, or tomorrow’s challenges.
Proverbs 3:27 says, “As a man thinks in his heart, so is he.” What you think about the longest becomes the strongest in your life. Your thoughts shape who you are and where you go. You cannot believe one thing and become something else. You cannot think defeat and expect victory. You cannot think about poverty and expect wealth. You cannot believe the worst and expect the best. If you want your life to produce the best results, your thinking must be conducive to positive and progressive thoughts.
8. Your life is designed to be motivated and fueled by vision.
You do not have to run and hide from life’s challenges. You do not have to live a mediocre existence. You do not have to downplay who you are. You can pursue your vision with an aggressive offensive attack that will give you the strength and ability to overcome any obstacles that stand in your way.
When you commit to living your vision, don’t automatically think everyone close to you will support your efforts. Don’t think that you are not going to encounter struggles. The truth is your life may get more chaotic. Things that used to work may stop working. That doesn’t mean you abandon your vision or walk away from commitments. Don’t throw in the towel too early. You may be closer than you think in realizing your unique vision.
9. Ignore the naysayers and doubters.
Don’t allow people who have not walked in your shoes and who have not been through what you have been through talk you out of living your vision. Your naysayers and doubters want you to struggle against your vision. They want you to give in to frustration and live with confusion. They want you to make lame excuses and continuously blame others.
Don’t let the naysayers and doubters’ pessimistic attitude and negative outlook influence you to hold back on living your best life. Don’t fall into their deadly trap of lies and deception. You are poised for greatness. You are equipped with the right stuff to achieve what is possible for your life and those connected to you.
10. Your dreams are waiting for you to live them.
There are enough dead dreams in the graveyard. Graveyards are full of dreams that never were fulfilled because people kept talking about their dreams instead of living them. There are dreams that you must release from your life.
If you do not, your life will be another casualty in the graveyard of dead dreams. If you are reading this, join me in chasing your dreams. If you do not live your dreams, they will never be lived.
There will always be people who tell you what you can and cannot do. They will provide the statistics and data to discourage you from pursuing your dreams. And then there is that little voice inside your head that says, “what am I doing? I should throw in the towel.” Don’t listen to him! Believe in yourself. Visualize your success and persevere through the pressure.
“Always focus on the front windshield and not the review mirror.” Colin Powell
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