Don’t wait for your relationship with your particular person to fall off a cliff. Be proactive. Relationships take more than lying back and watching Netflix together.
The most important things take nothing but your time. Almost all of these are low-cost items. There’s no need to spend a godzillion dollars to show your love.
I’ve been with my best friend for 30 years, and we’ve had our ups and downs. But we’re still together because we find ways to make each other feel special. And that’s what these 21 love bumps are all about.
1. Appreciate
Stop and think of something your particular person does for you or when they make you feel special. It can be a little thing like folding your laundry or bringing you a cold drink when it’s hot out. Or it could be a big thing, like supporting your job search when you were down and out.
Now, tell them how much it means to you that they help you this way. If you can’t find the spoken words, write a little note and leave it where they will find it.
2. Compliment
Go for specific and personal. “Those shoes look nice” is better than nothing. “You always pick such stylish clothes” is unique and specific to the individual.
“You’re a great mom” is okay. “I love how you are so good at taking care of our son. It’s obvious how much you love him, and we are so lucky you’re in our lives” is better.
“Thanks for taking out the garbage” is acceptable. “I love it when you help me around here with the house. You take a load off my shoulders and keep me from losing my shit when you step up like that” is better.
3. Ask For What You Need
We all want or need more than we get from life. When you’re in a committed relationship, sometimes you feel like you aren’t getting what you need. That’s when it’s time to ask for it gently.
Ask before you feel resentful for not getting it. Maybe your Significant Other doesn’t know how important it is to you to hold hands and cuddle, for instance. A gentle ask might be all it would take to change the situation.
4. Share
It’s a tragedy to be in a committed relationship but not know each other.
Open up about your fears and hopes. Don’t tell everyone at work about this stuff, or your best friend, but leave your partner in the dark!
5. Make Time
Date night, scheduled sexy time, and coffee meetings are great ways to show your partner that they are your special person.
My wife is more important to me than business meetings, movie debuts, or doctor’s appointments. So if these mostly meaningless things get my attention and get scheduled in, so does she!
6. Plan a Little Something- Frequently
Togetherness keeps your bond strong. Vacations are wonderful, of course, but what about the day-to-day?
Go food shopping together, find a beach to visit nearby, or line up a visit to an ax-throwing facility and get your hostilities out together, throwing sharp things at targets. Tiny trips are worth doing.
7. Dream About Next Year
Sit together with a hot drink (or a cold one if it’s hot out) and imagine next year. What do you see the two of you doing together? Plan your lives as a couple.
8. Text Cute Things
Send a randomly timed pic of a baby goat being a smartass or a meme that you know they’ll love. Say “hi” with a text and let them know you’re thinking of them.
9. Say Thanks
You can never appreciate your partner too much. What you put out there, you will get back in return. Do you like being appreciated? You know you do.
Thank them for something they bring to your life.
10. Memories
“Remember that time that lizard was sitting on your sun chair? That was such a nice day at the pool. I never laughed so hard as I did when you shoved Jack in the water!”
Reminisce about the good times. It brings back those warm feelings so you can share them.
11. Hold Hands
When you’re out together, hold hands and show the world you care about each other. This isn’t just any old person you’re with. This is your Special Person.
You can hold hands on the couch or in the car too. It’s allowed.
12. Board Games
Instead of sitting on the sofa like bumps on a log, play a real-world game together. We like a good game of Cards Against Humanity.
13. Plan to Make Them Laugh
Try as hard as you can to make your partner laugh. Pull out all the stops! Put clothes on backward, practice a funny Monty Python walk, whatever it takes.
14. Say I Love You
Seems obvious, but do you say “I love you” often enough? And do you look them in the eye so they know you mean it?
15. Check in During The Day
Text and email is a great way to do this.
Your favorite person should get more texts from you than anyone else. If they aren’t, what gives?
16. Tiny Gifts
Bring home a little snack, a card on a non-birthday, or a single unexpected flower. Sometimes small is more momentous than a gigantic declaration of love.
17. Hide a Love Note
Write “I love you bunches”! On a sticky note and put it in her wallet where she will find it later.
Put a note in the book he’s reading, or on the steering wheel of the car. Surprises like this can make someone’s day.
18. Take Care of Something They Hate
Everyone has things they don’t want to deal with. Every once in a while, why not help your significant other out?
- Kitty litter or diaper changes
- Laundry
- Cleaning
Do the job with NO EXPECTATION of it even being noticed.
19. Go For a Walk Together
Grab a sweater and hit the park. Walk around the block and enjoy each other’s company.
20. Go on a Picnic
Eat your lunch together outside. It doesn’t have to be fancy to be fun. Coffee and sandwiches go from boring to adventurous with the right setting.
21. Would You Rather
Play the game “Would you rather.” This is totally free and easy to learn the rules. You can even download an app or open a web page and get tons of great questions to use.
Bottom Line
I’m one half of a successful couple, and I’m still with her after all these years because we keep things rolling.
My wife is important to me. She gets more of my attention than my best bud, my writing, or my job. A way to make sure I’m giving her that attention is little things like these love bumps I laid out for you here.
Remember, it doesn’t have to be expensive to show her you really care. It does have to be thoughtful and expectation-free.
What are some of the little things you do for your special person? Leave me a comment!
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Previously Published on medium
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