Whenever you face a decision in life, there will always be emotional triggers that play a role in it. We all have rational sides to us and truly call forth that part of the brain to help us.
Emotions, though, are tricky suckers. They have a way of playing footsie with our minds and having us believe one thing when we’re feeling another. You can be walking through life, filled with happiness one minute and dread the next. Why is this so? Does it mean that you lack confidence in your coping abilities? Are you lost and can’t find your way to safety and security within your heart and soul?
If I listed the times that my own emotions have gotten the best of me, you and I would be here for a long time. Yet we don’t have a long time to be in this article, so let’s cut to the chase. As a man, you probably have heard that being emotional is wrong, shameful, and bad. “Don’t let anyone see you cry” still rings through the halls of government, religious organizations, and family systems. That’s old-school, old-system thinking and it’s got to be thrown in the trash can. I want to propose that you can count on three core emotions within you that will never let you down…as long as you believe in their power and energy.
Compassion.
Look around your inner and outer world right now. Do you sense a lot of compassion for humanity? One group might say yes; another group might say no. Compassion for your fellow man has long been a staple of philosophical and spiritual growth. Beyond that, it’s been an emotion that you have felt when someone has stretched out a helping hand.
The Dalai Lama once said, “Whether one believes in religion or not, and whether one believes in rebirth or not, there isn’t anyone who doesn’t appreciate kindness and compassion.”
By nature (unless you are an extreme narcissist), humans have a level of compassion within them. You have it within yourself, no matter what life baggage you have picked up over the years.
There always is a need for compassion in the world. I’d also say there is a deeper need for compassion within yourself toward yourself. Read that again. Let it sink into your mind and heart. If you have a friend or person close to you struggling, are you going to shirk and ignore them? Admittedly, there are people who you don’t want in your world anymore, and you might ask someone you know to help that person out quietly.
Even if you did that one thing, then it’s an act of compassion. You have this emotion within you. Bringing it out more into the world is not a bad thing, brother. It’s a good thing. It’s a powerful thing. It’s tapping into those healthy parts of your entire humanity.
Compassion, when used and shared with others, lets you know that your heart is emotionally alive.
Peace.
How many times have you cried out in pain, “Can I get some peace?” I’m not talking about being in bed and trying to go to sleep. This is a sense of a desire that calls forth from the depths of your humanity.
You know people who seem to radiate peace wherever they go. They just walk into a room, light it up, and everyone feels a lot calmer.
A lot of men have spent their lives being pulled in 1,000 different directions. Just attempting to have a sense of peace within themselves has been a fight, and crazy can punch peace out in a quick first-round knockout.
Yet I want to encourage you that if this emotion of peace seems to be a stranger, then keep noticing where it pops up in your life. Is it when you are in the gym? Is it when you are in nature? Is it when you are having a conversation that goes on, and time becomes a mystery? Is it when you can sit down, read a book or magazine, and not have the urge to be busy all the time?
Seriously, these are times where peace – that deep, beautiful feeling of calmness – is making your life much easier.
Marcus Aurelius, one of the greatest Greek philosophers, once said, “Nowhere can man find a quieter or more untroubled retreat than in his own soul.”
Find your peace, hold onto it, and share it with those you trust. Which leads us into …
Trust.
Really think about this emotion for a minute. You have heard people say, in business and life, “Trust me” all too often. It becomes a trite saying, like a junkie telling the drug man to “trust me” for $20 if he can get some heroin.
That’s a harsh analogy. Is it? Trust is an emotion that either connects people more closely or pushes them away. When it comes to relationships, you know that trust between people – whether it’s a romantic or platonic relationship – is necessary. If you don’t feel like you can trust someone, then everything falls apart.
Is trust an emotion? Yes. Trust is something that binds people together in times of great need. It calls upon our being’s deepest parts to “trust” emotionally that we will be taken care of by friends and family. There is a whole world of people walking around and keeping their trust issues silent. Family members have covertly made people believe that they can be trusted for their safety and protection, only to get robbed by these “energy vampires” who suck the life out of their loved ones’ souls.
Trust is a powerful foundation for growing not only relationships but businesses and alliances. Too many times, you have put your trust in something and had it fall apart. Stephen R. Covey, the author of The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People, said, “Trust is the glue of life. It’s an essential ingredient in effective communication. It’s the foundational principle that holds all relationships.”
People give away their trust without understanding what type of emotional transaction they are making in the moment. If I tell you to trust me with these words, I’ve written, either you will do it or find them worthless. I can tell you until I am blue in the face to trust me, yet I have no real control over whether you will or not.
Do your best to let healthy trust have a place in your life.
As someone who has done a lot of emotional work (what I term “soul work”), digging into life’s emotions has been a heavy load to drag around. It’s not for the faint of heart. Yet I want to encourage you to start focusing on these three emotions – compassion, peace, and trust – and believe that they are always present within you.
They truly will never let you down.
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