3 Insanely Obvious Ways to Simplify and Smash Life

Admit it. You want life to be hard.

The good news is, you’re not alone.

Thinking and acting like life is difficult gives us a free pass to struggle and complaint about it.

Struggle gives the brain something to do. A purpose. An excuse not to S.T.O.P. (and ponder over the depth and meaning of life).We love to jump from one problem to the next, putting fires out, getting all worked up and stressed so we can justify a) acting out or b) indulging in our poison of choice (guilty!)

The payoff of complaining is that it fills us with positive feelings of empathy from others, connectedness to them, being the centre of attention, etc. But it has many psychological cons too.

But life can be much simpler!

The scary thought is that you have more control over your life and reality than you give yourself credit for.

We’re not playing the blame game here, “It’s your fault if you don’t have the life you want”. But we aren’t playing the poor me game either “It’s my parent’s, my partner’s, my education’s, my government’s fault”.

Life is actually pretty straightforward when you figure out 3 simple things.

Then change happens instantly.

It may take days, weeks, months and years sometimes a lifetime! for the momentum to build… but the actual moment of change happens in a second. One minute you’re this struggling person and the next you’re light like a feather, unbothered, calm, fulfilled.

It’s up to you.

If you can shift your perception you can change the world.

Keep reading to learn how.

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Accept what is

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,

courage to change the things I can,

and wisdom to know the difference” — Serenity Prayer

A lot of the time we struggle because we get so stuck in labelling everything “good” or “bad”.

We aren’t able to trust life enough to let go of the labelling and see any event as part of a bigger picture.

If you train yourself to stop judging your reality and just accept it as it is, you will be x10 more chilled. It’s impossible not to.

Maybe you’re thinking: “ok, but what if my reality sucks and I hate my job, my partner, my life?”. That’s a valid question and will get answered shortly.

Take action

When something happens, you need to be honest with yourself and ask:

Can I change it?

> Yes — Make it your life’s mission to do so! Even if it’s a 0.001% chance, what are you waiting for?

> No, I can’t — Then why worry? Surrender, and wait for the next twist of fate. Nothing lasts forever. Read that again.

Stop thinking things “happen” to you. Start making things happen for you.

Be an architect of reality

Photo by Victor on Unsplash

As well as accepting what is, don’t accept what isn’t good enough. And change it. This may sound like a contradiction but it isn’t.

We collectively need to learn to say no more often. Stop waiting for permission and for validation. Your reality is not permanent. The only time is now.

Like when people say “I can’t paint” or “Oh no, I could never do X”. Why would anyone deserve to do X if they keep not only thinking but saying out loud they can’t?

Do you see how incongruent that is?

Most people think life “happens to them” and they’re powerless. Like a fish being taken by the current. This could be due to conditioning, beliefs or upbringing. All valid reasons. But you’re an adult now and you were born intrinsically free.

Do you remember..?

Anything and everything you see, from the trees in your street to the pavement you walk on, to the cup you drink from, to the music you listen to and the sandwich you rejoice in, has been first thought of by someone and then made by someone.

Hell, these days they can even choose the weather!

Your thoughts are much more powerful than you think. That’s why you need to go on a negative thought diet (learning to say no instead of indulging them). And start making your incredible brain work to make the reality you want become true.

Take action

Remove “I can’t” from your vocabulary. Today.
Start thinking, imagining, envisioning, and designing reality how you would like it to be. Think big! What’s serving you? What isn’t? Add, remove, change, and create freely.
What would you need to change that’s in your power, for reality to look more like your dreams?
Now write it down (it’s important to bring ideas into the physical to make them a reality). Saying it out loud works too. Perhaps to an entrusted person (but beware of Debbie Downers!) or even out loud to yourself.
Remember the sky’s the limit, baby.

Emotions make great servants

“E-motion” stands for “Energy in motion”

Reading this energy tells you a lot about a situation and people. Emotions can be used to your benefit, for instance as a creative tool or to raise the level of emotional intelligence in situations. For actors, they’re essential tools to make scenes believable.

But if you actually buy into their whispers, you will fail to think logically and attract chaos and suffering into your life.

Learning to master yourself first is essential to changing the world.

The old saying goes:

Emotions make great servants, and terrible masters

Be especially aware of fear and desire. Those two sound extremely convincing inside our heads and are the reason many people are living short of the best lives they could be living.

Imagine being in a stressful or highly charged situation (at work, in a bar, financially, in an argument with a love partner) and keeping your cool instead of taking the bait and losing your sh*t. You can be that person.

It’s in your power to self-reflect and get yourself to a place where most stuff leaves you unbothered. It doesn’t mean “not caring”. It means setting a high standard for what deserves your emotional involvement and what doesn’t.

Take action

Keep your emotions in check. Acknowledge when it’s not you talking but your anger, sadness, greed, fear or desire.
Apologise to someone affected by the consequences of you letting your emotions run wild. This shows vulnerability and builds intimacy.
Don’t beat yourself up about it if you’ve let emotions run the show momentarily. The sooner you move on, the quicker you’re on the sunny side.
Be mindful of who you surround yourself with. People’s emotions can trigger yours easily. Unless you’re zen af they will eventually get to you. Avoid the drama lamas!

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Recap and take action

“When we know better, we do better. If we know better and don’t do better we create pain for ourselves” — My coach

If you’ve read this you can’t unread it. Think about it. Now you know better, doing better starts with a small step, then another.

You won’t see change happening instantly (nothing worthwhile happens that fast) but the accumulation of micro-changes in your mindset is what makes a long-term impact.

These 3 simple (but not always easy!) mind shifts will bring so much peace to your life if you start applying them today. Right now.

Accept what is —and quit complaining!
Create your reality — Ask: “What would make this day/week/month/year better?”. Write it down. Take it one little step at a time.
Master yourself —by mastering your emotions and becoming unbothered.

You’re loved by this stranger whoever you are, wherever you are. You’re a wave in the ocean. Part of something bigger than yourself and at the same time, unique in your own way.

The global consciousness is waiting for you to be the best version of yourself and add your bit to our shared reality.

What are you waiting for?

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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