The thought of your spouse being unfaithful is one that most of us dread. But it seems to happen often. Some women might find this comforting, and some men feel like ghosts who haunt a new woman every day.
Not all husband cheaters are the same. There are many cases of when, where, and why these men cheat on their wives with other women.
It’s a topic that no one wants to talk about — but if you’re married, the chances are pretty high that your husband can cheat on you. Here are three real-life stories from wives whose husbands have been unfaithful to them.
***
“My husband told me he was going to stay late at work when he was really going home to see his girlfriend.”
I found out about my husband’s affair last year when I found an email on his phone from the woman he was cheating with.
—
I wish I had found an app like eyeZy sooner. It’s loaded with tools that let you see what’s on his phone. After installing eyeZy on the device you want to monitor, you’ll be able to see everything and find out the truth.
eyeZy shows you all their texts, emails, and social media chats. So whether he’s chatting on Facebook Messenger or Tinder, you’ll know about it. You can also see his Contacts, so if someone looks unfamiliar or has a suspicious name, you’ll know.
The monitoring app also lets you see his current location and past ones too. So if he says he’s working late, you can make sure he’s really at the office (or discover if he’s somewhere more suspicious). Location history is also included, helping you understand where he’s been in the past.
The app even shows you pics and videos saved on his phone, so if he’s received a lingerie pic from her, you can find out.
—
We had been struggling in our marriage for over a year, and this was the last straw. We talked about everything, what I wanted, what he wanted, and agreed we would take a time to work on our relationships.
It relieved me he didn’t want to work on our relationship anymore because that wasn’t an option for me, given what he had done.
I’ve heard many people say they can forgive their spouse if they’re working on their marriage, but that isn’t something I’m capable of right now.
I know it’ll be hard to move on with my life, and I’ll probably regret it. If I forgive him, I think I’d always have the what-ifs. What if we did counseling or tried marriage counseling or what if we tried to work it out?
After I found out about his affair, I decided not to confront him because he had given me no reason for our problems, and the only thing he had done was an emotional affair.
I decided not to ruin his business or bring it up in court because I didn’t want him to win against me and wanted him to support himself without me.
However, the police came out and questioned him about the affair. He told them he had just met this woman at his job one day and that he was having a hard time being honest with me and just wanted so badly for us to get back together so we could move forward.
Instead of going through with the divorce, I put off what was becoming a nasty divorce for three months while we worked through all our issues and while I was still trying to keep myself healed from what he had done.
Our divorce was finalized last week, and we’re moving forward as friends. We have agreed to be friends, but I really want this entire thing behind me. I feel that only by moving on will I can put our marriage and our relationship behind me.
I have forgiven him, but the truth is he needed to tell me everything before this happened. Once you actually know about something like that, you can’t un-know it.
***
“I found out my husband had been sexting a woman he met online, and they had slept together.”
I found out my husband had been sexting a woman he met online, and they had slept together. I was livid, devastated, crushed.
But I wanted to share this experience with you because I know other people have felt the same way about their significant others cheating on them in this way.
It’s complicated because it wasn’t just one text or one time — it was hundreds of texts and at least 20 meetings that they had over a period of several months. It was an emotional affair, which is worse than a physical one.
When I found out about it, I was mad and hurt and devastated, but it took me a few days to even confront him about it because I was so hurt.
When I finally confronted him, he had already lost his job because the woman shared the text messages with his boss. He had lost his job, and he couldn’t get another one for several weeks.
He had no money coming in, and he still couldn’t pay his bills without my financial help. At first, he tried to deny it all — that there were any texts or anything physical at all.
He had the nerve to tell me that I was accusing him of being a “cheater” and that he didn’t do anything wrong.
He denied it, but I have all the texts — I could download them all from his phone after losing it because he started losing his job for not getting a new one.
I supported him when he asked for $200 and would only give him $100 because, at that point, I was short on cash too.
After confronting him about it, I went through all of his texts again. It’s tough to find out exactly what happened in any illicit affair like this, let alone one that lasted several months.
But here’s what I know. I know he had at least 20 meetings with this woman, and they went out in public together. I know they were physically intimate. I found pictures of him with his shirt off on her phone that he’d sent her.
I don’t know exactly what happened the first time they had sex, but I’m almost positive it was when he asked me for $200 and told me he’d be gone for the weekend — just as I was moving to a new apartment.
He lied to me about where he was going and who he was going with. It seems like more than a coincidence that his phone stopped working the day before this weekend trip, too.
Here’s what I also know. After I confronted him about the photos and texts on his phone, he stopped talking to the woman. She said she didn’t want a relationship with him anymore and would call him if she needed money or anything.
He didn’t talk to her anymore after that. He gave me all the texts from her phone and the photos of them together, so I’ve got proof that it really happened.
I don’t know why he did this or whether there was any connection between our finances being in such an awful place, then or whether it was just an emotional affair between two people who fell in love. It doesn’t matter now.
***
“I found out when I came home from work one day to find him with his new girlfriend having sex.”
It was a rough morning. I found out when I came home from work one day to find my husband with another woman having sex.
It took me a few minutes to process what was happening in the house, what had happened between us, and how much of a mess we were both going to be in.
I find it ironic that the first woman he had sex with after we were married was someone he’d been talking to and having dinner within the weeks before this affair.
I feel so betrayed. Not because this happened while we were still married, but even though we’ve been together for over 20 years, I feel like it’s still new—a fresh situation.
I can still feel his touch on my skin and hear his voice in my head as it wakes me up in the middle of the night. I can still imagine him in our bed and wonder if he’s thinking of her or me.
I know that this will tear us apart and potentially even tear our family apart as well.
The rest of our family will think that this is something we did together, not something he did to me, alone, at home during the time where he should have been with me most. His family will think this is a situation between him and her that this is something that the two of them made happen.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve wanted to go back in time and make myself never marry him. I still love him, but I don’t know for how much longer.
I wish it were me who had slept with another man.
The attention, the touch, the kisses, and the words he shared with her will always belong to her, but not to me.
***
Final Thoughts
Cheating is something that some men seem to be tempted by, no matter how hard they try to resist the temptation.
Some may believe that they are “natural cheaters” who have a more hard time fighting their impulses than women, while others may feel guilty for cheating on their partner and will turn away from the opportunity.
While these stories don’t encourage people who cheat or condone it, they serve as a reminder of why couples need to discuss cheating before it becomes an issue and what can happen when they have been cheated on.
—
This post was previously published on Medium.
***
You Might Also Like These From The Good Men Project
Compliments Men Want to Hear More Often | Relationships Aren’t Easy, But They’re Worth It | The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex | ..A Man’s Kiss Tells You Everything |
Join The Good Men Project as a Premium Member today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.
A $50 annual membership gives you an all access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class and community.
A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group and our online communities.
A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.
Register New Account
Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
—
Photo credit: iStock
A miracle that happen in my life that God use DR LARRY restore happiness in my marriage. It all happen when I travel to see my mom few months ago when my husband met a Mexico lady who took his attention away from his family and made him seek for a divorce, in just few months I was away, I was driven from our home because of her my husband was lavishing our savings on her that pains was really too much for to bear seeing my man in the arms of another woman, I decided to take decision to save… Read more »