3 Things Women Don’t Do With Men That Actually Build Attraction

Ladies, I’ll tell you the truth about some men out there.

They’re frustrated.

While you may know that, what you don’t know is that they are frustrated for similar reasons as you.

In new-age dating, so many traditional methods of courtship seem dead. The result is a negative view of the opposite sex.

Instead of learning about each other and how we can resolve today’s issues, everyone plays a battle of the sexes and want to let out their frustrations.

It’s time to kill that.

Yes. I am talking about reintroducing the days when men and women worked together to build successful relationships.

I know, a mind-blowing statement to say these days.

While there are new rules to the dating game, there are things that have dissolved away that men enjoyed.

There are things men want from women that are not a heavy lift on your end.

One thing that has not changed is how simple we can be.

All it takes is a little effort and understanding, and we can return to the days when people pursued each other. Crazy times, I know.

So what are some things that men are missing? Let’s dive in.

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Where did the time go

A few weeks ago, I was having dinner with some friends. One of the girls there was talking about a guy she started talking to.

She told us how great he was and how she was interested in getting to know him more.

Then she got a text from him, looked at it, put her phone down, and said, “I’ll respond in the morning and make him wait.”

Let’s not beat around the bush.

The slow-play, I am too busy game is so lame.

I am not saying that you need to be all giddy and not take some time to process and respond.

Most things work opposite for men than it does for women.

Let’s be honest. The readily available guy, responding right away and not chasing other things while he pursues you, is a turn-off.

It doesn’t work the same way for men.

Women who are “always busy” turn men off.

That does not mean you shouldn’t be out chasing your goals, but I’m telling you; the slow play does not work on valuable men.

They will read right through it and turn it around on you. Now, it’s a game.

Send the bat signal

I lean more toward being a traditional man, but I have learned to adjust and accept the modern-day nuances of dating.

I think approaching women is a ball that should stay in the man’s court.

You, ladies, have a ball that is in your court too.

The choosing signals.

For those of you who don’t know, those are the subtle signs you give a man that you are open to him approaching you.

Now, I get it. You deal with creepy men who don’t need a signal and will approach you after showing zero interest.

That’s part of the game. Men have pieces of the game that they don’t enjoy either.

Men are terrified to approach women now.

Sending a choosing signal is easy and has never changed; subtle glances, a smile, and even being direct and waving a man over.

Boom, job done.

Think about how awkward it is when that guy you have no interest in comes up and approaches you. Remember what that feels like?

That’s how a man feels when he’s doing a cold approach with a woman who hasn’t shown interest in him.

That is where “shooting your shot” comes from.

Men are taking their chances at the 50:50 shot on a woman who might be interested in him but has shown zero signals.

Above the line

Men won’t say it, but they love a cheerleader on their side.

You have your struggles. Trust me, I know (to what degree I can).

Men have struggles too. We’re supposed to have the values of traditional men in a non-traditional economy and dating market.

We’re to be above average, chasing multiple ventures, amazing lovers, providers, and all that is just a baseline.

Those are values to bring as a minimum without asking for anything in return.

Yes, we don’t need someone actively pushing us to pursue our goals.

What men won’t tell you is that we love receiving things we say we don’t need.

I know that sounds contradictory.

The reassurance and confidence boost will empower us to keep going every day.

A man wants to know that he has your trust and loyalty and that you will ride along on the journey as a unit.

Support or lack thereof from a woman can make or break a man.

It has become an expectation of men to be everything I laid out above to get a foot in the door.

There is no average if everyone is above average.

The word average has somehow become an insult.

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I think there’s a central piece to this article.

Ladies, men like attention just as much as you do. We like attention in a different form than you. Think about all the stupid things men do purely for attention.

Let’s get back to pursuing each other.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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