4 Small Things You Can Do To Be a Better Friend

I don’t have many friends. My circle is small but strong. I used to though, I thought it’s cool when you have lots of friends to hang out with. Until I realized I just wasted my time being with people who don’t care much about me as much as I do to them.

The other day during a catch-up call with a friend, I asked her if she’s ever left a friendship before. To which she said, “I don’t think so. It’s just a natural selection. People just leave eventually after some time.”

While I disagree with what she said. It also got me thinking, what could we possibly do to make them stay and have a lifetime friendship?

Apparently, there are so many small things we can do to be better friends. Here are the things that I usually do to strengthen my friendships:

Send Them a Gift

This is the easiest thing you can do, especially when your friends live in a different city from you. I said it’s easy because you can do it online, and nowadays, there are lots of websites that let you custom the gift, and they’ll prepare it for you as you wish.

I make it a priority to send at least one gift to one of my friends every month. I put their name on the list.

People are so busy with their lives, and sometimes it leaves them feeling emotionally and mentally exhausted, so when you send them a small gift once in a while, they’ll appreciate it more than you know.

It also gives me a warm feeling every time whenever they say they like the gift. Our relationship has also become stronger than before.

Acknowledge the Good Things in Them

“Try to be a rainbow in someone’s cloud.” — Maya Angelou

We live in a society where we are expected to be “perfect,” and sometimes acknowledging our flaws is seen as weak. It’s insane when you think about it. That results in us keep giving harsh critics to ourselves.

One of the best things you can do to your friends is letting them know every now and then that they are good enough. Let them know the good things about them that they tend to overlook themselves.

I never knew that I’m always the type of person who passionate about something if my best friend didn’t point it out. In my mind, I was just looking for something that makes me more “alive.” And knowing that other people see that and remind me what I’m capable of makes me feel good.

So set a short time at least once a week to think of your close friends and look for what’s something about them that you admire. And then tell them. You’ll surprise how much they appreciate your efforts in doing this.

Send an Appreciation Note

“A good friend is like a four-leaf clover: hard to find and lucky to have.” — Irish Proverb.

You don’t have to wait for their birthday to say you appreciate the friendship. It can be any day. I like to throw an appreciation note on random days to my friends, and they know I meant every single word I wrote.

It’s hard to make friends when we entered adulthood. People come and go fast, and before you knew it, only a couple of them stay in your life.

So appreciating those who stay through thick and thin is so important. The truth is, you don’t need more friends in your life. It’s better to maintain what we currently have. one of them is by sending an appreciation note every once in a while.

To have a strong friendship requires some effort. People don’t trust you just like that. There has to be some respect and trust built along the way. And if you don’t appreciate the friendship, they most likely won’t stay in your life longer.

Be a Good Listener

“Friends are those rare people who ask how we are and then wait to hear the answer.” — Ed Cunningham.

Being a good listener is a great skill that is often underrated. Everyone wants to be heard but doesn’t want to listen. I’ve known people who only talk about themselves all the time. Don’t be like them.

Mean it when you ask a “how are you?” question and literally take the time to listen to them. Not just waiting for them to finish talking and respond — it’s a huge difference.

When they tell you their stories, instead of forcing your opinions right away, try to just listen. When they come to talk, most people don’t really need advice; they just want to be heard.

When people get drawn into social media, it’s hard to pause the time and be present. Watching their stories on Instagram every day doesn’t mean you know the real them. So go reach them out and ask how they are really doing; when they open up, make sure to be fully present and listen.

Final Thought

Being a better friend isn’t as hard and time-consuming as you think. There are small things here and there that you can do. It’s so easy to forget how important friendships are; our life gets busier and busier.

But at the end of the day, what is life without meaningful relationships with another human being? No matter how much money you have, you can’t enjoy life fully when you don’t have people to share it with.

As Eleanor said,

“Many people will walk in and out of your life, but only true friends will leave footprints in your heart.” — Eleanor Roosevelt.

—

Previously Published on medium

***

You Might Also Like These From The Good Men Project

Compliments Men Want to Hear More Often

Relationships Aren’t Easy, But They’re Worth It

The One Thing Men Want More Than Sex

..A Man’s Kiss Tells You Everything

—

Photo credit: iStock