If you’re like most people, you might have certain insecurities, fears, and frustrations that kept you from achieving your biggest goals last year. And if you don’t get change your mindset soon, this year might very well be the same as last year.
Don’t let that happen! Here are four ways to be mentally stronger this year, no matter what your goals might be.
#1: Forget About the Things You Can’t Control
In life, there are some things that are under our control, and many other things that aren’t. Surprisingly, so many of us focus most of our attention on the things we can’t control: The media, the government, our Facebook feeds…
Instead of feeling frustrated, I suggest you simply, completely accept the things you can’t change – and focus ALL your energy, attention, and resources on the things you CAN change. Sure, your situation might be bad. But how can you make the best out of a bad situation? Start there.
#2: Forget About What Others Think
If you have doubts and insecurities about yourself, then I’m pretty sure you ask yourself these questions whenever you’re pondering a big decision: “Will they like me more after I make this decision? Or will they hate me more? Will they start saying things about me?”
My advice: Forget about what others think. Here’s a fact of life: People are too busy thinking of themselves to give you a second thought. They’re much more interested in their OWN goals and dreams – why not follow their example? Never mind what others think – just set your goals, make a game plan, and play your heart out!
#3: Forget the Past
Most of us dwell in the past in two ways: (1) Either we feel embarrassed or angry over a bad event, or (2) we reminisce the good times and wish they’d come back. Unfortunately, we have little (if any) control over the past… so all this looking back is really just a waste of precious time.
Make the most out of your past experiences, good or bad, by simply asking yourself: “What have I learned from these painful/joyful experiences? What can I do NOW that will help make sure the bad events don’t happen again… and have more of those good memories instead?”
Write them down, and then put your feet down firmly on the PRESENT to get things done!
And lastly:
#4: Forget What You “Deserve”
That’s right – stop thinking that you “deserve” certain things in life. Let’s face it – when it comes down to it, no one really owes us anything. If you keep thinking about what you “deserve”… or if you keep blaming someone or something for putting you in your current situation… guess what. That simply means you’re WAITING for that someone, or that something, to save you.
Sorry, they WON’T save you. Whoever or whatever that might be.
Read this carefully: No one owes you anything. The only person who owes you anything is YOURSELF. If you really DO think you “deserve” certain things, then don’t wait for it – get up and go get it!
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Previously published on Kevin J. Donaldson
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Photo: Getty images
Nobody owes men anything, but amazingly the list of things men owe everyone else seems to be getting longer. It may be beneficial to men to come to the realization that they don’t owe anyone anything wither.
Hi John,
Thank you for reading and commenting! Are you using your personal power to “Design” your life or are you living by “Default?”
Blessings,
Kevin
Hi John,
After reading your comment, I was inspired to write this article to address the many stressors men face: https://goodmenproject.com/ethics-values/3-ways-for-men-to-handle-stress-better-and-lead-a-more-balanced-life-bbab/