
Let’s be candid: Everyone is insecure to some extent. Even men who appear to have it all figured out — those with six-pack abs and a terrific head of hair — have occasional ego blows.
Even if they don’t express it, they have concerns, apprehensions, and sporadic severe anxiety.
However, this narrative is not about appearing confident. It’s about confronting your insecurities and finding solutions to the things that men feel uncertain about.
The insecurities prevent you from reaching your full professional and interpersonal potential.
Relationship Security
If you have cheated on your girlfriend or been cheated on by your girlfriend in a previous relationship, you may feel helpless (even if you are the one who strayed).
The solution is that you will never have a sense of security in your relationship if you continue to harp on an issue instead of confronting it head-on or moving on.
Sometimes it takes time for the brain to rewire itself to accommodate a new way of thinking. But if you both want the relationship to work, determine why the infidelity occurred in the first place, and establish a plan to address each other’s needs, wants, and desires moving ahead, you should be on a path that makes you both feel appreciated, so one person isn’t dictating to the other.
Job Security
In western culture, a man’s identity is strongly related to his occupation. At every party or social gathering where you meet new people, you will be asked “What do you do for a living?”
Fear of falling short of an employer’s standards, sudden unemployment, and anxiety about your work stability in the future are all manifestations of this insecurity.
The solution?
It is important to identify all of the contributing factors that are causing your insecurity, determine the extent to which your insecurity is based on rational and reasonable thinking as opposed to irrationality, and begin reframing the conversation so that you can view the situation from a different, healthier, broader perspective. If you’re in a field that you don’t enjoy, seek something else, even if it doesn’t have the same perceived degree of status or pay.
Financial Security
What will the next five, ten, or twenty years look like? What awaits you in the future? In your family life, though, these inquiries might be extremely intimidating.
Changes in a man’s relationship status, such as from dating to engaged or engaged to married, and the addition of children, all pose a threat to his mental stability. Providing for a wife and family is an extremely demanding endeavor.
The approach is to develop coping mechanisms to assist maintain a balance between planning for the future and living in the present so that uncertainty does not become overpowering.
Body Image
You are dissatisfied with your height, physique, or attractiveness. These issues are most frequently associated with a sense of inadequacy.
The source of the problem may be a cultural preference or societal standard that promotes unfavorable thoughts about your looks.
Not Living Up to Expectations
Unmet expectations can be harmful. Your own expectations and those of your superiors can make you feel like you’re in a perpetual state of competition. However, these high expectations are usually greeted with disappointment, animosity, and the false belief that you are incapable.
You will develop insecurities if you are the recipient of someone else’s resentment or even anger. Own your own expectations of yourself, as it is the only thing you can manage in this situation. Focus on doing your part and your part alone.
Relax, be realistic, and take a better attitude to maintain a healthy balance in all aspects of your life if you are setting the bar too high at the office or in the gym, working around the clock to accomplish some unattainable goal.
Displaying Emotion
Some men are just really uncomfortable displaying or receiving displays of affection from family members (their mother, father, etc). You may have difficulty empathizing with friends and forming genuine friendships and ties with others.
Usually, this is a result of poor experiences with the display of emotion or inappropriate messages about emotions in the family.
The solution is therefore to interrupt the loop and gradually become less resistant to traditionally susceptible emotions such as sadness, love, and sympathy.
Men are more likely than women to focus on negative emotions that are perceived as more male, such as wrath and pride. Allow others in, gradually tear down your barriers, and learn to comprehend your dislike of being emotionally vulnerable.
—
This post was previously published on MEDIUM.COM.
***
You Might Also Like These From The Good Men Project
Join The Good Men Project as a Premium Member today.
All Premium Members get to view The Good Men Project with NO ADS.
A $50 annual membership gives you an all access pass. You can be a part of every call, group, class and community.
A $25 annual membership gives you access to one class, one Social Interest group and our online communities.
A $12 annual membership gives you access to our Friday calls with the publisher, our online community.
Register New Account
Need more info? A complete list of benefits is here.
—
Photo credit: Shutterstock



