“Single” is an opportunity to live life on your own terms and not apologize.” ― Mandy Hale.
I did some pretty crazy things when I was unattached. Some I’m proud of, others not so much. But there was something to be learned in each one. You need to do certain things when you’re single for the experience, exposure, and lessons they teach you.
Your life’s dynamics change when you introduce a relationship, marriage, and babies. Let’s sample a few things you’re likely to regret not doing when you’re single.
Meandering in the Dating Scene.
There’s a phase in every single person’s life where you’re meandering in the dating scene to see what’s out there but are not ready to settle down yet. Like that one time, I dated the funniest guy who also happened to be obese. I also learned he had an alcohol problem.
As I ended it with him, it dawned on me that thanks to him, I knew music artists I didn’t know existed. Also, I’m a foodie because of that relationship and can now cook tantalizing meals for my family.
This dating-without-any-expectations-stage is great because it can challenge any beliefs you have about relationships. You get to reset expectations about your ideal partner. You get to experience how people’s thoughts are similar or different from yours, which helps you decide what you can and can’t live with.
It’s also your time to date someone outside your ideal lover — say an older man or a younger woman, for example — so when you finally settle down, you’re not looking over the fence (we hope) because you’ve been there done that.
Dating with no expectations is all about having fun, learning more about yourself and others, and viewing life through the lenses of other people.
Hopping From One Corner of the World to Another.
An African proverb says that the man who never leaves his home thinks his mother’s cooking is the best. If you never get out, you’ll never know what lies on the other side of the world and the fantastic people in it. Exposure is the best part of traveling.
When you’re single, you can afford to pick up your bags and hit the door without a care in the world! You don’t have to plan for anyone but yourself. Your timetable is a blank page that you fill as you go along.
Tight budget? No worries. There’s always a way to make it work.
In my single days, it didn’t matter how thin my wallet was; I’d always make my budget work. At times it meant booking cheap flights with excruciatingly long transits and flying times. But it didn’t feel that terrible at the time as I was focused on having a fabulous holiday no matter the obstacles.
This experience can be a master class 101 in money management that you can continue to apply in the future.
Living in Your Own Nest.
Few things feel comforting, like retreating to your nest at the end of the day. Clean bedsheets. No noise. A few dishes to clean up. Best of all, you can choose to Netflix and chill all night without lifting a finger to do any chores because you’re the boss of your time.
Having your own place equals a peace of mind. Making and breaking your own rules as you wish is dope. Freedom is not needing to consult or explain anything to anyone. Oh, don’t forget the satisfaction of finding your belongings exactly how you left them.
You can paint the town red without needing to come back home at all. You can live without constraints. The responsibilities that come with managing your own house, like paying utility bills and marking when the contract is up for renewal, can make you feel like a real grown-up if you’re young.
Changing bulbs, resetting my internet router, fixing a washing machine were things I learned only because I lived alone for seven years. You learn handy skills that you’d typically not know if you lived with a partner or someone else. You can never have too much independence and adaptability.
Kissing a Soul-Crushing Job Goodbye.
Some realizations sink only after you’re removed from a situation. Once, I worked with a mean lady who treated me like trash. Another time, I worked with a dude who was often inappropriate. But I stayed put because hey, the bills weren’t going to pay themselves.
However, the peace I felt when my contract was up made me wonder why I hadn’t hit the door earlier. I wasn’t a mom yet. I only needed to care for myself. I could still look for other jobs or move back with my parents. When you’re single, you’ve got more options than you think.
Don’t stay at a soul-crushing job; get out and create a different reality for yourself. Unless you’re responsible for other people, you have little to lose and can bounce back quickly should your world fall apart.
Following the Trail of What Makes You Come Alive.
When they said work with no play makes Jack a dull boy, they weren’t kidding. You need to tap into your hobbies and passions no matter how hard you’re hustling. It’s how you come alive. You don’t realize how highly talented you are until you step out of the hamster wheel of your 9–5.
Living in the digital era, we can confidently say we’re in a truly magical time. So much is possible — buying products, marketing, and selling them is much easier now than a few decades ago. If you follow the trail of your passions, they can morph into entire careers. Hobbies can take off and transform your life permanently.
Pretty awesome eh?
While it’s never too late to catch up on what you’re good at, the best time to knuckle down is when you’re single. You’ve got the freedom, ample free time, and little or no responsibilities. When your status change, it becomes tough.
Life is what you make it. Yet most people wait until they meet someone to enjoy it. Other times, they’re too focused on building their futures that they fail to recognize and appreciate their golden season as singles.
Yet the crazy, impromptu and stupid things are more enjoyable when you’re single. They can also make you wiser and better. If nothing else, you’ll have lots of fun.
Hey, isn’t this what life’s about?
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Previously Published on medium
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