You’ve been out on a date with a girl and you’ve done your absolute best to give her the best time that you believe you can. You’ve been sweet, cordial, the perfect gentleman, and done all the right things. But despite your efforts, she still turns around and says:
“I don’t want to see you again.”
You’re not happy – you’re pissed off, maybe even distraught, but where did you go wrong? Well, let’s dive into it because you’re about to find out. Here are five critical mistakes that might have ruined your date and prevented a second one.
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1: You Played It Safe
Let’s start with the big one: playing it safe. What does that mean? It means shying away from anything that might be seen as bold or daring. Sure, it’s safer not to bring up controversial topics or make moves that could lead to rejection. But here’s the kicker: playing not to lose doesn’t equate to winning.
Magic happens when you take risks, when you say something that might raise an eyebrow but also sparks intrigue. When you give her that look which secretly gets her excited even if she never tells you. When your hand brushes against fingers and electricity overloads her nervous system.
Being on a date isn’t just about avoiding offense – it’s about making an impact, taking chances, and showing who you really are. If you’re too afraid to step out of your comfort zone, you might miss out on genuine connection and attraction.
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2. You Lived in Her Reality
Ever heard of frames? Each person brings their own perspective or “frame” to any situation. When you’re on a date, she has her frame, and you have yours. The key is not to abandon your frame to fit into hers.
Your authenticity and confidence come from standing firm in your beliefs and values. If she says something you disagree with or behaves in a way that doesn’t sit right with you, don’t just nod along to keep the peace. Express your perspective and boundaries like a man. It’s not about being confrontational; it’s about showing strength and integrity. Women are attracted to men who know who they are and aren’t afraid to show it.
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3. There Was No Sexual Tension
Sexuality isn’t just about physical attraction; it’s about creating a vibe of mutual desire and anticipation. Did you convey that on your date?
Probably not. Like I said earlier, it’s about subtle gestures – eye contact that lingers a moment longer than it needs to, a touch on the thigh that sends a message words words never could. It’s about the tone of your voice, body language, and the things you talk about.
Expressing genuine admiration and desire in a respectful way builds tension and communicates your masculine energy. It’s not about being crass or overbearing; it’s about letting her know you see her as a woman and you’re interested in more than just casual chitchat.
She was on that date to find someone to have sex with. If that wasn’t the case it would have been a platonic coffee instead, just realise that her leaving said date without seeing you as someone she’d sleep with is a huge part of why you didn’t get a 2nd one.
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4. You Were Boring
Boring conversations make a woman lose interest faster than a slug covered in salt in the Sahara desert and I’m not exaggerating. Did you talk about things that truly excite you? Your passions, your adventures, the things that make you come alive? Or did you stick to safe topics like the weather or your daily commute?
Being bold and memorable means sharing your enthusiasm and experiences in a way that captivates her interest. Whether it’s fishing or astrophysics, talk about it with passion and unabashed flair. Show her what makes you unique and intriguing. That’s how you stand out and leave a lasting impression.
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5. You Kissed her Ass
Lastly, self-amusement is key. It’s about enjoying your own company and being true to yourself. When you’re on a date, don’t try to be someone you’re not just to impress her.
Tell jokes that genuinely amuse you, share stories that make you laugh, and embrace your quirky quirks and interesting interests. Women are drawn to authenticity and confidence.
When you’re having fun and being yourself, it’s contagious. It shows that you’re comfortable in your own skin and can make any moment enjoyable.
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Conclusion
Dating is a complex and intertwining dance of diverse personalities and disparate desires.
By recognizing these pitfalls and understanding how to navigate them, you can and will massively improve your chances of success, meaningful connections, sex and a future relationship. Also, remember that, every date is a learning experience. Embrace who you are, take calculated risks, and enjoy the journey of getting to know someone new.
Excelsior!
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Want free coaching to skyrocket your dating success? Join my free Skool community to learn how to approach women on the street, & in bars & clubs, sexual communication, how to drive them wild in the bedroom, how to create a killer dating app profile they can’t resist, how to message them without being ghosted, & much more.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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