5 Important Life Lessons I Learned After Losing My Father

I had never thought that our family of 4 was celebrating the Diwali festival together for the last time. I never imagined that I would be meeting my father for the last time before going back to college.

After 18 days of Diwali, I got a phone call about my father’s demise. I was shocked to the core. How a strong & healthy man succumbs to a heart attack! He was 50, just got a big promotion, hale & happy man.

It took some time to comprehend the loss of Papa (as I call him).

It has been 7 years now. During the course of this time, I have learned & experienced many situations and observed people & their behavior.

I met many genuine caretakers, supporters & secret admirers who supported & encouraged my family to recollect broken pieces of our life. Some people I had expected to be there; Some were there to help, about whom I didn’t even think of. I learned to be thankful for them!

I met some who made me feel bad about the situation as if we(my family) had become so alone & incomplete in this whole world. I decided to avoid them!

Some abandoned us like a scrap. Yes, the behavior had come from someone close. I decided to forgive them!

I, being the elder child in my family, learned many life lessons.

1. Learned that being a single parent is tough

It was painful to watch my mother cry, going through different rituals after she lost his partner. She faced so many ridiculous traditions & biases because of her ‘widow’ status, but she faced it all strongly.

I watched her transform into a strong & confident woman managing all the responsibilities of home & the workplace.

She raised us (me & younger brother) like an iron lady. She started teaching in school & become self-reliant.

She is currently occupied & doing productive other things like knitting. She is also learning and teaching us about financial investments.

Sometimes, I do observe her swollen eyes in the morning, realizing that she must have been crying the last night & didn’t sleep well. Her smiling face & strong-willed actions inspired me and made me stronger!

2. Standing up for yourself

After Papa’s demise, some elder relatives started pushing for my marriage! As if they now had a right to interfere in our lives!

I had just completed college & was preparing for my master’s entrance exam. I wanted to do higher studies and become financially independent.

I was usually a submissive, under-confident girl. However, the incident of losing him made me stand up for myself.

I strongly disagreed with other’s plans. I stood up for myself. My mother also supported me. I become responsible, confident & my own cheerleader.

3. Everyone should invest not only in academic but financial education too

Financial education is a must for everyone, irrespective of their gender. Both men & women of the house should know & learn about financial investments along with their academic learning.

Financial education should be considered as a basic skill like cooking.

My Papa had some good investments. After we lost him, Mumma had a difficult time managing financial affairs. She got help from her father (My Nana). My grandfather taught her the basics of financial planning and she learned slowly.

My mother understood the importance of financial education & she involved me & my younger brother in this learning.

Gradually, I understood the importance of wealth creation. For 5 years, I have been investing in good mutual funds, stocks & building my assets.

4. Parents are your best cheerleaders.

They would encourage you, push you, inspire you to be the best version of yourself. Cherish these times.

As we grow, we get busy in our lives but we should take some time to call our parents at least once a day. Make beautiful memories. Click pictures & take screenshots. Because after sometimes, these moments become your beautiful memories. When your parents become old, do respect them & say, “Love you” once in a while if not daily.

Losing a parent means you lost one of your best cheerleaders

I want to add one more thing, not only parents, some of your close friends, some of the uncle & aunties & are like your family.

Some of them support you emotionally, some financially. Be grateful to them. Treasure them too. Ensure that you spend some quality time with them.

5. People can change anytime for good or bad reasons

After losing my father, I saw my relatives showing their back to us. They stopped calling or contacting us.

It is true to say, bad times show the true colors of people.

We(my family) got hurt but learned a lesson not to trust everyone. Be thankful to those who are there for you. Hate & despair towards those who ran away, will not calm us. So, forgive them & move on.

In time, some close ones would become strangers, and some unknowns would become closed ones.

Final Words

Trust me, it is true when someone says, “time is a great healer”. Everything heals at its own pace.

My family now celebrates my father’s birthday & death anniversary by donating to the education of children, as he was a big education enthusiast. He had always pushed everyone to aim high.

Ending with the few learnings of Bhagwat Geeta,

Whatever happened, happening or going to happen is for the greater good.

Don’ worry unnecessarily, the soul is neither destroyed nor created.

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Previously Published on medium

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