We have been obsessed with rom-coms and enemies-to-lovers for quite a while. A cozy Saturday night in with an ice cream bowl and the guy finally confessing his love for the girl who is his sworn enemy sounds perfect.
It’s easy to believe that relationships in real life are similar to fiction. We start having these fantasies of what a romantic relationship should look like—dreamy and exotic.
But there are certain myths we have started romanticizing that are quite unhealthy and destroy relationships subtly.
1. Believe that true love is painful.
The notion that true love is dramatic and painful comes from books and movies that are written solely for entertainment purposes. We start to believe that maybe love is supposed to hurt, and that’s what makes it real.
However, in real life, true love brings peace and serenity. A healthy love enables you to be grounded and relaxed while enjoying the feelings of deep passion, adoration, and devotion towards your partner. There will be moments where conflicts arise and you feel hurt, but that is part of life. A secure partner is not supposed to break your heart multiple times in a year.
2. Your partner will meet all your needs.
Nobody in this world is perfect and your partner certainly isn’t going to be the first. To burden them with the expectation of meeting all your needs is troublesome and borderline toxic.
The only person who knows you the best and can meet all your needs is yourself; no one else in the world. Your partner should be considerate enough to listen to what is important to you and try their best to meet your needs, but there will be moments when they fail at it. It is not due to a lack of love or care; it is because they are human.
3. You need to sacrifice to make it work.
Yes, all relationships require some compromise to make it work. But huge sacrifices that challenge your life goals and principles are not it.
Your partner should be your biggest cheerleader. They should help you grow and work towards your dreams instead of asking you to sacrifice your own life for them. People who choose to forgo their personal happiness for the relationship end up with resentment and hatred for their partner.
4. Love is enough for a healthy relationship.
Love is as much a verb as it is a noun. It is a feeling but it is also the effort needed to make a relationship work.
Love gives you butterflies but that fades away soon enough. What makes a relationship flourish long-term is a combination of respect, compatibility, honesty, trust and loyalty. If you take any of these out of the relationship, you are left with with constant struggles and pain.
5. Your partner should just know what you need.
They are your partner, not a mind-reader. If they are good at predicting what you want sometimes, this does not eliminate the need for communication.
Clear and honest communication is the pillar of every relationship. You cannot expect your partner to just know what you need in any particular point in time. To build a safe and mature bond, you need to communicate effectively.
Conclusion:
It’s time to stop romanticizing the myths we’ve grown accustomed to and embrace what truly matters in a loving and healthy relationship. Let’s leave behind the fairytales and embrace a healthier, more grounded view of love.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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Photo credit: Edward Cisneros on Unsplash
