5 Reasons Why Being a Rebellious Man Will Boost Your Self Esteem

When we think of conforming, we think about the rewards instead of thinking about the risks.

This is because conforming for the sake of getting along is normalized. We conform also for the sake of survival with jobs, community, careers, or relationships.

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You will have the ability to think for yourself

Critical thinking sounds easy but it takes work.

This usually goes away when in social groups or social settings. The urge to go away from critical thinking is even stronger when the group consensus sways in one direction of an opposing view. Have you ever been a part of a group and the entire group had to make an important decision? You guys all make the decision but you question if it was the right decision. Now you are afraid to speak up because you are afraid of social rejection for having a different answer from the group.

You came to this conclusion by critically thinking about it. This doesn’t mean the rest of the group didn’t think about their decision, it was just easier to go along with the consensus. Always take the time to think things through no matter how crazy or uncool the choice may be. Sometimes these choices have consequences.

“The public says they engage opposing views, but they rarely do. Nearly 87 percent of respondents say that considering an opposing view is an important and useful exercise. But few engage in the practice, and less than a quarter of respondents seek out views that challenge their own. For instance, 24 percent of respondents say they avoid people with opposing views. Another 25 percent rarely or never seek out people who have different views than theirs.” — Reboot Foundation

You won’t lose yourself in everyone’s opinions

Conformity has its benefits.

It gets people to behave a certain way to get desired results. I remember when I played organized basketball in high school. Everyone wore the holy grail of shoes, Air Jordan’s. Back then, they were attainable, unlike today. Today you have to wait for them to be released. If you didn’t have these shoes as a young basketball player back then, you were not considered cool.

I made sure my mom bought me a pair just so I could fit in. Now that I am an adult, I didn’t realize how much this went against everything in my core. I despise trends. As a young man, I sacrificed my individuality just to fit in. This happens to men on a much bigger scale every day. It happens at jobs, marriages, social circles, or any place where one thinks that conforming will get them the desired result.

“Institutions, then, can inadvertently contribute to the experience of not fitting in, leading students and employees from working-class backgrounds to underperform. As a result, colleges and workplaces may not only miss out on this untapped potential but also reinforce and maintain social class inequality in the process. It’s often assumed that getting a college education or professional job means that a person from a working-class or low-income background has finally “made it” and will seamlessly join the middle or upper class.” –Nicole M. Stephens and Sarah Townsend

Stand out by not fitting in

Being average has its benefits

Being average has its benefits. As a man who identifies with being an introvert, I often get ignored in some social groups because I don’t stand out enough. I know how to carry myself socially but it is probably just average social skills. I am okay with this because I don’t have the desire to be seen all the time.

If you are a man who wants respect, adoration, and the benefits that come with these traits, you can’t conform and have people respect you at the same time. Everything has a price. The confinements of conformity don’t allow you to stand out in anything. It is about corralling you in with a lasso to get you to be like everyone else and swim in mediocrity.

“Conformity involves changing your behaviors in order to “fit in” or “go along” with the people around you. In some cases, this social influence might involve agreeing with or acting like the majority of people in a specific group, or it might involve behaving in a particular way in order to be perceived as “normal” by the group.” — Kendra Cherry

Being independent prevents you from being codependent

Being a part of a community has been a staple in men and society since the days of cavemen.

Being a part of a community has been a staple in men and society since the days of cavemen. Community is pretty much one of Maslow’s Hierarchy needs, belonging. The downside in this is that most are willing to give up for the sense of community. In parts of the world, being part of the community means being dependent on the community for emotional needs. A man has to know that he can stand on his own when it is necessary and not always need to get approval or other needs met by his community.

Identification conformity is the middle level of conformity. Here a person changes their public behavior and their private beliefs, but only while they are in the presence of the group they are identifying with. This is usually a short-term change and often the result of normative social influence.

Enjoy mental freedom

Conformity takes a toll on us mentally.

We all have to conform for the sake of survival. This is especially true with places of employment, social groups, and families. We are all actors performing for a theater as Goffman would put it. This is part of the reason why most people feel exhausted after social events. Much like actors after the director says “That’s a wrap”, we are delighted that the act of performing is over.

We wear these different social masks in each part of our lives. Imagine having to play your role every day for years. The role you decided to play when you felt like you had to conform can put you in your emotional prison. The longer you play the role and wear the mask, the easier it is to go along with interaction rituals that you don’t agree with.

“There is wide agreement that conformity is an agreement encouraged by a system of sanctions. A clue to this can be seen in Ervin Goffman’s treatment of interaction rituals.”

Conforming to environments or cultures is an innate survival mechanism.

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I write about living a dope and freedom lifestyle through the mind of an introvert.

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Follow me for more on topics such as Global Mindset, Stoic Life Lessons, Mastery — Solopreneurship, and Self Improvement.

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This post was previously published on medium.com.

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