Love bombing is one of the scariest tactics used by narcissists, sociopaths, and other types of manipulators. The problem? Being love bombed can feel good. If you’re not careful, you might end up falling head over heels for the narcissist.
The good news? It is easy to spot this manipulation tactic, as long as you know the signs. Many of us know that being given lavish gifts or luxury vacations and being told “I love you” too quick can be red flags. But what about some of the more subtle, harder to recognize signs? Here are five shocking signs of love bombing.
1.They want to talk to you exclusively.
The narcissist will make it clear very early into your communications that they want to make things exclusive — often even before you commit to being in a relationship. And they’ll want to make a relationship commitment faster than anyone you’ve ever dated. They’ll even pressure you to put a title on it before you’re ready.
It can be easy to fall for this one. If you’ve been in situationships in the past or you’ve been on dating apps where you’ve encountered people who are only looking for hookups, it can be a huge breath of fresh air to find someone who wants to be with you and only you.
The problem is that the person doing the love bombing just wants to secure a commitment from you. They likely don’t intend to honor the commitment, considering most narcissists will go on to look for new supply (or more people to give them the constant validation they need).
2. They tell you that they’re the only one you need.
At some point, someone who’s love bombing you will likely say, “I’m the only one you need in your life” or even “I’m the only friend you need.” They might say this when you’re feeling vulnerable or if a friend or family member has upset you. But there’s also a possibility that these types of comments may come out of nowhere.
This comment can make you feel good. After all, it’s easy to think that your significant other just cares about you so much that they just want to spend all of their time with you. Who doesn’t want someone who’s schedule is always open to you? And even if you don’t necessarily love this comment, you might write it off as a sign of their loneliness.
The problem with these comments? The love bomber is trying to isolate you from your friends and family. It may seem like a flattering comment and a sign of their undying love for you, but it’s actually a huge red flag.
3. They post about you on social media.
There’s nothing wrong with making things official on social media. This is a normal and healthy step in any relationship. But if it happens too soon and their post is extremely lovey dovey, this can be a sign of love bombing.
The love bomber is often trying to accomplish two things. Firstly, they’re trying to let you know that they’re all in. Their commitment is public, often before yours is. At some point, they might throw this up in your face later on.
Secondly, they’re trying to make your friends and family aware of their commitment. They’re publicly committing to you — and often looking incredibly charming in the process. This way, you’ll feel trapped if you try to pull away from them. And if you do end things, your friends and family won’t understand how you could end it with someone so amazing.
4. They compliment you often.
Some people just love to compliment the ones they’re dating. After all, Words of Affirmation is a love language for a reason. But if your significant other compliments you multiple times a day, more than you’ve ever been complimented in any relationship, it’s possible that they’re love bombing you.
5. They think you‘re soulmates, and they’ve never felt this way before.
It can be a truly magical feeling hearing that your significant other thinks you’re soulmates. It’s also great to hear that the person you’re falling for feels the same way you do. Being told that someone has never felt this way before and that you’re their first anything can make you feel even harder for them.
And that’s the problem. The love bomber knows that telling you that things are different with you will make you swoon even harder.
It’s possible that whoever you’re dating could genuinely feel this way about you. But if statements like these come too fast, beware of this red flag. It’s a powerful manipulation tool that any love bomber keeps in their back pocket because they know just how effective it is.
The Bottom Line
Love bombing is so scary because it can feel so good. Recognizing the signs can help prevent you from falling even harder for the narcissist, sociopath or manipulative person you’re in a relationship with. Getting away before it’s too late is key when it comes to falling for a love bomber.
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This post was previously published on medium.com.
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From The Good Men Project on Medium
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Photo credit: Dan Morris on Unsplash
